Letting God Be Enough

 

My pastor has been preaching some sermons lately from the book of Job. They haven't been verse by verse, line by line expository messages. I think that is a good thing and personally believe that solely expository preaching is over-rated! They have been messages more on thoughts and topics found in the book of Job. Yesterday's sermons and especially the evening message helped me in many ways. 

I have been struggling for months and possibly even years mentally and now I know spiritually with what I believe or what I thought I believed about God and His attributes and what His Word says and how it is applicable to my life. This is forcing me to read and study and work on my walk with the Lord. I am still currently working through some of those things but yesterday's messages helped me in some important ways. 

I have never, as far as I know, struggled with the concept that God is Sovereign. I have long beat the drum and insisted that God created the game of life and that He makes the rules. He is owner, manager, coach and even referee! It's His ball game! 

I have for many years also believed and shouted that God can do anything except lie or be unjust. This means ANYTHING! He can work miracles and often does. NOTHING is out of His capability. However, just because God can, doesn't mean He will. The Bible says that He will have mercy on whom He will have mercy. Exodus 33:19, Romans 9:15 and Romans 9:18. I fully believe that my God is big enough to do anything and handle anything in my life. 

What I realized last night was that I have struggled with Him being enough for me. Pastor posed the questions, "Is God enough if He takes everything from you? If He takes your health, wealth, spouse, parents or children, is God enough? If friends and family are not supportive or turn their backs on you, is God still enough? Is He enough to sustain you? Is He enough to cling to and keep going?" At that moment I felt God tugging at my heart and whispering in my mind, "Tammy, am I enough?" It was a scary question for me. If I answered, "Yes. You are enough, God", would He test me to see if I meant it? Would He begin taking more from me and my life than He already had? I quickly realized that God HAD to be enough. I must resolve in my heart and mind that yes, He is enough! I cannot hold so tightly to my loved ones that I put them above God in my heart. I think everyone struggles with that at times because our loved ones are right here and can be seen and touched in person. To me that is just understandable whether right or wrong, it is just easy to have happen.

Here is a bit of back story about me...

I grew up believing that I was plain and ordinary and without many talents. I was someone who was not too impressive. I believed I was not important except to my parents and grandparents and that I didn't matter much in this world. This carried over into adulthood. As a young adult I even struggled with suicidal thoughts and believing that everyone would be better off if I were gone from this world and that it would not even matter that I was ever here. God in His mercy and grace and in a very personal way helped me through all that. 

Because of these wrong beliefs I sought my worth, even until very recently, in doing for others. I believed if I just did enough to help others and made them feel special that it would prove that I had a right to exist. Unconsciously, I also sought praise and accolades in my talent of cooking, in my creative ability for event planning and in Bible teaching to other women. I also sought that in my writing both in my blog and in my books. I just kept searching for those praises to make me feel worthy of my very life. 

When you hold on tightly to finding your worth in doing for others and in praises of men (even if it's family and friends) instead of KNOWING your worth is in Christ who loved you enough to be tortured and die for your soul, then your heart is often doomed to ache. I know much about this because I have been struggling with deep hurt for months. I have longed for support and praise from people rather than resting in the knowing that God loves me and I DO matter and I am important. He has a purpose for me and I must rest and find peace in Him alone. 

Frankly, I have been having a months long pity party and someone helped me to see it. They helped me realize that I may not be as talented as I think in some areas and that was a hard pill to swallow. They also helped me see that I wasn't seeing the support that I was being given just because I was too focused on the non support of a few. They were right even if those realizations were painful to accept. The sermon last night spoke to me when feeling abandoned and or unsupported was mentioned because I had felt that way for a year or more and was allowing myself to dwell on it. The sermon helped me realize that God's love and care should be enough because He is trustworthy. My new outlook is that God must be enough for me. 

This is not meant to be a passive aggressive blog post in order to have people praise me. It is just a sharing of my heart about realizations and things that God spoke to me about through sermons and someone close to me being brave enough to hurt me. Maybe someone reading this will relate to what I have been going through and be helped. As I have said over and over, my blog is my therapy and is much cheaper than paying for it! It only costs possible critical comments. 

Life as a Fixer

 

When I talk about being a fixer I am not talking about being a lawyer for a powerful and influential family. I'm also not talking about a person who cleans up messes for a mafia or crime lord family like you see on TV shows or movies. I am talking about being someone who does their best to help solve the problems of family and friends.

These people, these "fixers" have deep desires to take on the trials and burdens of those around them. They become consumed at times with trying to figure out how to help lift the load of those who are hurting physically, mentally or financially. They sacrifice time, energy and money in order to help those they love and care about. They always want to fix whatever problem others are facing.

I know of where I speak because I AM one of those fixers! As a matter of fact, I come from a long line of fixers on both sides of my family. My mom always tried to help people, especially her children. Her mom, my grandma, was also a fixer. She always tried to help family and friends with money problems. My grandma on my dad's side lived a life as a fixer. She was always trying to be a help and make life easier for her family. She gave and loaned money and had family members move in with her so they could get back on their feet. I have cousins who lean hard towards the "fixer" mentality, too.

I tend to take on burdens of every sort from those around me. I have done so since childhood. I so desperately want no one I care about to struggle physically, mentally or financially. If I can help fix it, then I want to do so and often go to great lengths to help. I'm pretty sure that's a good thing in this world. The problem comes in when we ignore care of ourselves. We fixers tend to neglect to get proper rest, sleep or food because we get so burdened in our hearts and minds for our loved ones' situations. Self care goes right out the window as we listen to the trials and burdens that everyone is dealing with. We go about trying to fix their problems at sometimes great cost to us mentally and physically. We can make ourselves sick with concern and searching for solutions for them. 

I know that prayer and giving things over to God is what is most necessary. It is not always easy to do, though! Our fixer tendencies come out, making it harder to let go and let God handle it. This shows our deep compassion for others. I've not met a "fixer" yet that wasn't a compassionate person. Be grateful for the fixers in your life. It's not always easy for them and remember that sometimes your fixer needs fixing, too!

When Truth Hurts

 

We all need people in our lives that help us to feel supported. We want and need validation sometimes. We need to feel like there are people on our team or in our corner, so to speak. I believe these are needs that God has placed deep within us. There is much scripture to support this idea. In the Bible we are told to bear one another's burdens. We are told to have fellowship together. We are told to weep with each other and to rejoice with each other. We are to encourage each other. 

We also need people in our lives to tell us the truth, even if it may hurt us. We need people to hold up a mirror to us that reflects back to us how we are acting. We may need to hear that we are over-reacting to a situation or being too sensitive or just being a whiner who is having a pity party. Maybe we need to gently be told that we are not as talented in an area as we think. Sometimes we need to be told we are caught up in sin or not seeing a situation clearly. Both types of people are needed in our lives. 

There are going to be times in our lives when we won't have those feelings of support we desperately want. This can cause hurt just the same as the convicting truths cause hurt. The difference will be that one involves correcting oneself and making changes. The other involves forgiving those who hurt in their failure to give wanted support. People disappoint us sometimes. There will be times in life when friends and family will be too busy, too selfish, too momentarily spiteful or too whatever to lend support to us. It's going to happen. What we do with the hurts of nonsupport or hurtful truths can make or break us in any given moment. If not handled correctly, we will face mental and physical problems. 

May God bless those who are always there cheering us on and those willing to wound us with truth or constructive criticism, because both are needed in life! 

Being a Thermometer and a Thermostat

 

Let's start by explaining what each of these items are used for in daily life. A thermometer is an instrument that reads and tells you the temperature of a given area. It can be used outdoors or inside a building. A thermostat allows a person to set the temperature to a chosen certain degree of temperature inside a building. 

There are times in life when it is necessary to be one or the other and often both. It is important as moms, grandmas, friends, bosses and Christians to be a thermometer. We need to be able to read the temperature of a room of people or a situation. A watchful eye, carefully listening ear and a little wisdom will help us determine if there is a problem arising. When we feel the temperature rising in our area, we can step in and help to diffuse the situation. By the same token, if the room seems cold and drab and as though people are not warming up to one another or interacting as we hoped, we can also do something to help break the ice.

We are thermometers when we read the temperature of the room but when we step in to help change the temperature, we then become the thermostat. At our house we go over and change the setting on the thermostat of our furnace or central air unit depending on how warm or cold we feel in the house. It's as simple as hitting a button or turning a dial. 

Unfortunately, when dealing with people and temperatures of a situation, it takes more than hitting a button. People won't always respond in the way you hope as easily as an electrical device. Experience will help you get better at being a thermometer and a thermostat in most situations of life. 

There are many devotionals you can find online that tell you to be the thermostat and not the thermometer. I suppose as I read through those I can see their point. However, life is a balance and I think it's important to be both as you travel life's journey and deal with people. Many a problem can be diffused if we first read the temperature of the situation and then become the thermostat to set everything to a new degree. 

Just something to ponder. I can't believe I have gone well into March of 2024 before even making a single blog post. In my defense, I am again working on another book to publish on Amazon KDP and have devoted my time to that. Be on the look out for a release date some time in the near future.

One Holy Night

 

Wow! It's been awhile since I posted. I am not sure I have ever gone this long between posts. I was busy writing and publishing an eBook on Amazon KDP and continuing with a second book which I am determined to make long enough to be available in print. 

With Christmas approaching I wanted to talk about things surrounding that holy night. There are Christians who think it is wrong to celebrate Christmas. There are several reasons given. One is that we are never told to remember Jesus' birth in the Bible, only His death. Another is that it is celebrated at the wrong time of year. 

Well, I want to cover both of those today. While there is not a command given to remember His birth. I think that the fact that so much detail is written about the birth in Scripture, tells me that we ARE to remember. Are we not given the Bible to read, meditate on and study so that we can tell others? I am not sure we can fully cover telling people about Jesus dying without telling HOW He came. After all, if there wasn't a miraculous virgin birth, the dying on the cross as the sacrificial lamb would be pointless. God had the writers tell the story with many small details included. It's the details that make it important. I will look at some of the seen and unseen details later. 

Since we don't know the exact day that Jesus was born, I don't think it matters when it is celebrated. It's only important that we celebrate that Jesus came willingly to earth in a humble manner. He came in human flesh to experience all we experience. He came as a baby, needing care and instruction. He had earthly parents whom He was subject to (Luke 2:51). He increased in wisdom and stature (Luke 2:52). He got hungry and thirsty and angry (Mark 11:12, John 19:28, Mark 3:5). He cried (John 11:35). He was tempted as we are but never sinned (Hebrews 2:18, 4:15). He came to suffer and die and rise again to usher in salvation and the mystery of the church age. There would have been no cross without that cradle! Jesus could have come in any way but God's plan, that was prophesied, was that He would come as a baby born to a virgin. I think that we should celebrate Christmas as long as we keep Jesus in the forefront of the season! He came to give the greatest gift ever given...Salvation, a way to be reconciled back to God even though we sin.

Now let's look at some of the unseen details. Mary was told that she would miraculously conceive and give birth to the Son of God. She as far as we know, did not know that He would some day walk on water as the song questions. She knew He was the Messiah but did not know the ins and outs and whens of the sequence of events as she raised Him. She still worried over Him as seen in the story when He went missing after the Passover feast and was found 3 days later in the temple. I love the show The Chosen. It gives such a human vantage point to draw from. One of my favorite episodes and scenes in the show is when Mary is telling the disciples around the campfire about having to wipe Jesus off after the birth. She goes on to tell how she and Joseph thought to themselves "this is the Son of God?" They obviously are in wonderment thinking that Jesus would have come out shiny and new and without any mess because of who He was. Now, we have no Scripture reporting that Mary and Joseph thought these things but I personally can see why they might have. The fact that Jesus came as a baby meant that He would know every aspect of what we humans go through. 

Recently, someone shared on Facebook a well written poem or story about how Mary knew she would be with child and it would be the Son of God but that Mary's mother did not know. Her mom did not have an angel come to her as far as we know from Scripture. Only Mary and Joseph got the privilege of an angel coming and telling them. Was Mary's mom supportive or did she think she was telling crazy stories? Did she suspect that Mary did not keep herself pure? How would you have handled it? As a parent, our instinct is to protect and encourage and correct but Mary's story was truly unbelievable. Did her mom face ridicule and judgement right along with Mary? Probably! That's the way people are. They stand in judgement of the parents when a child messes up. Just something to ponder. We will not know this side of heaven but this gives us another aspect of what Mary went through. By the way, Joseph probably also faced ridicule and gossip. 

Now, what about the inn keeper? Nope, there is no talk about an inn keeper in the Bible. Guess what! There is talk about how there was no room for them in the inn. An inn is a hotel, a public dwelling place. Therefore, it stands to reason that there was someone in charge of receiving payment from people to stay there. Someone like an inn keeper! That's a no brainer people! Did God foresee that preachers would some day preach about how we should not be like the inn keeper and make room for Jesus? I don't know but it sure makes for good sermons! Can you imagine how that inn keeper may have felt someday down the road about not allowing the Son of God into his inn? I wonder if the man ever knew that Jesus, the Messiah, was put out into the stable? Can you imagine the guilt? Hmm. How often do we fail to make room? How often do we fail to see what God is trying to show us or work out around us? 

This is starting to get a little long so I will wrap it up. One Holy Night that forever changed the world! A night that 33 years or so later led to a cross that brought redemption and salvation to mankind! Yep, I will celebrate! 

The Love and Care of God

 

I want to talk about how God, in Scripture, shows us how to love and care for others. We have everything we need to know in how to raise our children and how to deal with friends and extended family and even strangers we encounter out in the world, right there in black and white and red, in the Bible. 

His examples of discipline, provision, love and care are found all throughout His Word. Awhile back, while sitting in church listening to a sermon, we were being reminded of how God was angered by the disobedience of the Israelites and how He had them wander in the desert for 40 years as a result. It dawned on me during that sermon that God loved and cared for them all during that 40 years. This included those who were disobedient in heart and failed to trust in what He told them. They had to stay outside of the Promised Land until all who had been disobedient were died off. However, He took care of them during that 40 year punishment! He lead them by pillars of cloud and fire. He gave manna, meat, turned bitter water to sweet, gave water from a rock, and told them precisely where to move their tents. He gave precise instruction on how to build a tabernacle in order to worship Him, protected from enemies, gave commandments on how to live their daily lives and all during a period of discipline or punishment as it were. 

You see, just as He still loves us even when we mess up and He must chasten us, we still love our children even though we must discipline them. As a matter of fact, God commands us to correct and discipline our children when they step outside of our rules. The bible says in Hebrews 12:6 - For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. Hebrews 12:8 - But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. Proverbs 22:15 - Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. Proverbs 29:17 - Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul. Proverbs 22:6 - Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. When we have our children be in correction and discipline, we do not withhold love and affection, or provision of food, shelter, laundry or whatever. At least, we do not if we follow God's example. He cared for those who He had been angry with right up until their deaths. They just did not get to enter the earthly promised land.

We are also to tell others the error of their ways by correcting them and showing them from scripture where they are going astray. Mind you, this is not done piously or as though we are not capable of falling. James 5:20 - Let him know, that he which converteth the sinner from the error of his way shall save a soul from death, and shall hide a multitude of sins. We are to spread the gospel to all. This will include showing them their sinful state.  When a fellow Christian is stepping out into sin, we are to restore such an one. Galations 6:1 - Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted. 

When David sinned with Bathsheba, it was Nathan the prophet who told him a story and when David was angered over the person in the story who sinned, Nathan said, "Thou art the man." God used Nathan to convict David of his sin and in turn David humbled himself and sought forgiveness from God. God still punished David by taking his newborn son conceived with Bathsheba. Later, God gave David and Bathsheba their son, Solomon who went on to be a great king after David died. Though God punished David for his sin, He didn't turn away and leave David. He continued to bless and help him and called David "a man after God's own heart". 

We cannot fully comprehend the love and care of God in our human minds. The Bible says that His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are higher than ours. We just trust that He is Sovereign and in charge and maketh no mistake! He loves us even when He is compelled to discipline us. 

What To Do With Hurt Feelings

 

Hello there! It's been a little while since I blogged. I want to talk about what to do when someone hurts us. It happens to all of us. We can be wounded, sometimes deeply, by friends, family, and even strangers. People are often self-centered, speak or act without thinking or just plain old mean intentionally. We can be guilty of hurting others also.

One of the first things biblically speaking that we should do is forgive. Forgive immediately even through the hurt. The hurt may still sting but forgiveness is the best thing for your heart and soul. Once you forgive, you can more easily control your own temper as you talk to the person and let them know they have hurt you. Ephesians 4:31-32 says Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: 32 - And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. 

We must resist the urge to retaliate. Romans 12:17-19 reminds us Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. 18 - If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. 19 - Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. This is harder to follow than to say I know! It goes on in verse 21 to say Be not overcome with evil, but overcome evil with good. 

Colossians 3:12-13 says Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; 13 - Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. 

I realize in the moment, in the freshness of the wound, these commands of God are hard to follow. However, if we will keep a humble mind full of meekness and remember that we sometimes hurt others it will help. 

Another thing that will help is to not allow ourselves to dwell on it. Don't let your mind linger thinking and thinking about what the person said or did. Philippians 4:8 says Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. 

Something else to do is to stop and self evaluate. Is there any truth to what someone said about you? Are you guilty of what they may be saying about you? Maybe you need to try to make some changes within yourself. If what they said isn't true, then remember that God loves you so much he sent Jesus to die and make a way back to having a relationship with Him and you are fearfully and wonderfully made...these are things that are true and pure and honest and absolutely lovely to let your mind dwell on. 

One more thing... it will help in your forgiving if you remember that maybe the person was just having a bad day and lashing out or just speaking without thinking. Everyone is careless with words sometimes. 

I hope this was an encouragement to someone.