Why Christmas?

Some say we shouldn't celebrate the Christmas holiday,

Jesus never told us to is what they often say.

December is not the time of year,

The Savior child was to appear.

Christmas is bound in pagan roots,

Why follow after worldly fruits?

 

To the scoffers I say it's important to me,

He came as a babe to set me free.

To lay on that hay had to come first,

And then on the cross he would face the worst.

Remembering the manger scene each year,

Brings the thought of the cross evermore near.

 

 

Best Ever Waffle Recipe - Gluten Free Even! :)

Ingredients:
2 c. Bob's Mill Gluten Free All Purpose Flour (get at most grocery stores now)
3/4 t. Baking Soda
1 1/2 t. Cream of Tartar
3/4 t. Zanthum Gum (get at any health food store - cheap)
1/2 t. Salt
2 Egg Yolks (save whites!)
1 3/4 c. Milk
1/2 c. cooking oil
2 Egg Whites

In large bowl stir together dry ingredients. In small bowl beat egg yolks with fork. Beat in milk and cooking oil. Add to dry mixture all at once. Mix till blended but still lumpy.

In small bowl beat egg whites till stiff peaks form. Gently fold into waffle mix leaving a few fluffs of white. DO NOT OVER MIX!

Pour onto preheated and greased waffle griddle. Close lid quickly. Cook approx. 2 minutes. (you may need to find correct time through trial and error for your size griddle). Remove with fork. If cooked correctly they pop right out. I make batches of these and layer them in a plastic storage container between wax paper. They can be gotten out one or a few at a time to put in toaster and heated. Works and tastes great!

***If you do not like to use cooking sprays you can grease griddle with a brush dipped in melted butter or coconut oil.

*** This recipe is also free of aluminum since there is no baking powder used! Research this if you do not know the problems of aluminum in the body system.

A Thought From "Dear Camp"

Just got back from a couples retreat this past weekend in Branson, MO. It was fun, relaxing and had great messages. Since here in Missouri it was opening weekend of deer season, the pastor holding the event, had the theme "Dear" Camp. It was a neat idea. Decorations were fitting and we were all given big bumper stickers that says "What happens at Dear Camp stays at Dear Camp"! Fun! The messages by Bro. Maury Gibson were insightful and badly needed in marriages today and for Christians in their other relationships too. ---friendships, parenting, siblings, pastor/congregation, etc.

One of my favorites (tho all were good) was about Setting Your Sights. In other words guiding your heart. People always say "just follow your heart" but the Bible tells us that the heart is wicked and deceitful and can lead you astray. Nowhere in scripture does it tell us to follow our hearts. It says several times to guide or lead your heart. We often get into trouble when we do not take control of our minds and bodies and bring them into subjection. That is how we allow ourselves to be lead astray. We guide our hearts by NOT allowing certain things to creep in, with our eyes and with our thoughts. The Bible says in Matthew 6:21 that "where your treasure is, there will your heart be also". What we treasure is where our minds will dwell. What we treasure is where we will spend our time and money. Thoughts can be brought into subjection however (1 Cor. 9:27), and that is one way we guide our hearts.

People don't fall out of love. They allow their treasures (thoughts and desires) to drift to other things. They stop guiding their hearts to where they should be. They invest their thoughts, possibly even time, to go where it should not dwell and then pretty soon they go from I want to love and be with this person til death do us part to I don't know if I want to and from there to I don't want to.

Hobbies, co-workers, other people begin getting more investment than the spouse. When that happens often the spouse begins to stop investing. Then there is the claim "fell out of love". No, both stopped guiding their heart. They stopped investing their treasures where they should. We need to Set Our Sights on our own "dears" and guide our own hearts, zeroed in on that dear we once promised to love til death parts us!

The Shepherd's Voice

Was reading in a devotional the other day and it was about following the shepherd's voice. Thought I'd post about that idea or thought.

In John chapter 10 we read an account by Jesus comparing himself to a shepherd. This analogy is one of my favorite ways to depict Him. A shepherd spends so much time with his sheep and caring for them and literally putting his life on the line for them to protect them, to guide them and to feed them. It is a beautiful and comforting picture and thought. In this chapter Jesus says that His sheep KNOW his voice and follow Him. To know some one's voice, you must spend time with them. When you spend time listening to another person or you know them very well, you can hear the hidden things in their voices that they are not expressing. Things such as discouragement, hurt, anger, happiness. You also can tell when they don't really mean what they are saying. You can also recognize their voice even if you can't see their face.

 

 

When you hear even their voice faintly in a distance, you can recognize them, go to them and be joined to them. To know the voice of Jesus and His calling to you, His guidance to the blessings of life, His warnings to steer clear of, and His urgings to follow, you must know Him intimately. You know Him in this way only through reading the Bible and meditating on it. You also can pray as though He is your friend and care taker because He is. Learn to listen for His voice and block out all strange voices as do sheep. They do not follow the voice of a stranger. They wait for the comforting voice of their OWN Shepherd.

 

Do you know the Shepherd's voice? If not, today is a good day to begin to learn and study it so that you will not follow the wrong voice.



We the People

I'm fed up! I'm fed up with what our government has become. What is wrong is that our government is no longer here to serve the people. "Main Street" America is not who is the interest here. Probably for many years now, this country has been run and controlled by special interest groups with deep pockets and loud voices (or maybe sneaky behind the scenes voices!) but never the less, they control this country. Politicians no longer have a back bone or sometimes it seems even enough brain cells to function and string some common sense thoughts together. That is both sides! But especially the liberal side. What has harmed our country tremendously are moderate and soft Republicans that are too worried about their next campaign to stay strong for beliefs they spout but do not back. A man has told me repeatedly over the past couple years that it was always said years ago that if this country ever went to a two party nation it would be the beginning of the end of this country. I believe we are surely headed there for the USA has become a country run by the "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours" philosophy for way too long now and people are so hungry for power and money that they compromise their souls to the devil for it! We the people -- even those of us who try to be EDUCATED voters, can't seem to make any headway toward getting this country back to where the Founding Fathers intended it to be. I truly believe deep in my heart that if the Lord tarries, the only way to return to the former glory is for there to be an uprising of the people. I read The Declaration of Independence a little while ago. Quite interesting (I've read it before but wanted to refresh my memory and also to allow each word to sink in).

Here is what this document says....
When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. - That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, - That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their Right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. - Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.
(the rest is the list of tyrannies and the names and states who signed)

BTW, just a side note/rant...Remember when during the last election the campaigning was all about "Main Street America VS. Wall Street America"? Bad rich people and Wall Street yet when the market is up there is always a picture shown on the news with everyone clapping as the bell rings!!! Just for those who don't get it....RICH people pay more taxes to the government than anyone. Even if they get a cut rate they still are what keeps the government flowing in money! Their 5% brings in more than a middle income or lower income who pays in 8%! (Just throwing out numbers ... like the liars in Washington do...don't know the real percentages) The point is RICH people are the ones who have businesses to create jobs and revenue. Most politicians are rich! Democrats too though they try to pretend that they care about the little working man and woman. They really are only generous with other people's money! Why don't they quit trying to run other people's lives and give all their money that they use to get elected and work deals to the poor if they are so concerned?!
I think everyone should do it God's way and pay 10%! That would fix the squabbling. Tell me, how is it that people who are on welfare get $3000 tax returns back when they never paid in a dime all year?!? Just saying!

Maybe it's time for a throwing off of the government that has overstepped their bounds and become tyrants controlled like puppets by the special interest groups making deals and "paying to play".

Snacks Spoil Meals

Was reading in my new 40 days in God's Presence devotional and got an idea for a blog post. As all Moms know, allowing kids too many snacks between meals spoils them from eating well at meal time. Even allowing one wrong type of snack can fill them up too much, especially young ones.

 

 



Well, it is the same for adults too. Both with food and with the God. Jesus said that those who hungered after righteousness would be filled. Often times we are too busy focusing on the world and material things and life's busy schedules and spending time in only things to please the flesh. When we are full of so many other things, we will not be hungry for the things of God. It is just that simple. Maybe we want to watch TV or a movie instead of reading the Bible, maybe we'd rather have a Saturday out than to go on visitation or help with things at the church, maybe we'd rather listen to worldly music than that which is pleasing to God, maybe we'd rather go shopping for ourselves or go out to eat than to help someone in need or give to a missions program. The list can go on and on. The point is that we fill up on "snacks" that are more than likely not healthy for us, which can diminish our desire for the real "Meal" of Godly things. True joy and satisfaction only come from that real meal! So, let us not substitute empty calories for those that will only add weight (that we are to lay aside because it will hinder our service and walk with the Lord - Hebrews 12:1) and keep us from being truly hungry for righteousness.

 

Just something to ponder. How's your appetite? Do you long for only the sweet stuff, the "junk" food, the carbohydrates instead of the good meat and protein that should come from God? Psalm 34:8 - O taste and see that the LORD is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him.



Why I Love My Pastor

The man God gave me as a spouse

is a godly leader in our house.

He takes time to show he cares

and it's not just to put on airs.

He works hard to preach God's Word

so that doctrine is not blurred.

My heart and mind are always stirred

by the messages that I have heard.

I feel so very blessed, you see,

for God gave my husband as a pastor to me.

 

 

This was written to Bob in October of 2009 in honor of Pastor Appreciation month which October is!

 

I love you Bob Elfrink and I am delighted to have you as my pastor!



The Best is Yet to Come

At my daughter's wedding in June, she had my son sing the Christian song "The Best is Yet to Come" and play it on his guitar. He did a great job. It is my son-in-law's favorite song. Jenny was concerned that it wasn't really a wedding song. I sure feel it is. I also feel it is a song that truly represents Bob and me. Johnny sent us a cd of songs he had recorded of himself singing and playing guitar. (He is pretty homesick for Missouri lately - he lives in Texas) He put that song on the cd. I have listened to it over and over again. I like hearing him sing and play and hearing his voice makes me miss him a little less. Also, it reminds me of Bob and our life together. I love this time of year. Fall is my favorite season in Missouri but also for some reason I get sort of melancholy and nostalgic and cry easily at this time of year. I always miss things from my childhood and growing up years at this season. I really don't know why. I've been missing my grandparents, dad, and especially my mom lately. I have even been missing spending time with my crazy cousins who were my best childhood friends! I have tons of memories flood my mind at this time of year.

Anyhoo, that song reminds me that as good a life as I've had and as good a marriage Bob and I have had, I know that "the best is yet to come". God wants us to enjoy life and have peace and happiness and joy on this earth but someday in heaven is when the best will come. Some people get bogged down and stuck in the past. They mope and whine about what used to be and think that life will never be as good as it was then. These are people who refuse to trust God and look to the future and what God has in store for them. Sometimes, God does allow us to go through hard times and losses and trials but His love will always carry us through. One thing I learned long ago is that "this too shall pass" nothing on this earth comes to stay. It always comes to pass. Even this earth and current heaven will some day pass away. There will be a new heaven and a new earth where we who are saved and have trusted in Jesus as savior and the only way to heaven will get to live there FOREVER!

I'm looking forward to more adventure with Bob as long as God allows. My hope and prayer is that we will be right beside each other at the Rapture! I know the best is yet to come here on earth and someday in heaven.

Pressure Where Needed

Everyone knows that when you have a serious cut or deep, bleeding wound you should apply pressure to stop the bleeding. Now, if I cut my leg, I do not apply pressure to my arm. Nor vice versa. You apply the pressure where it is needed. This thought can be used in many situations. Here are some examples...

When it is time to discipline a child, a little pressure applied to the seat of knowledge is what is most often called for to stop the bad or inappropriate behavior.

When checking a person's blood pressure a device is used to squeeze the arm along with a stethoscope to listen for the heartbeat. When checking for a pulse, pressure is applied to the wrist or neck to feel for a heartbeat. The blood pressure cuff must be placed in the right spot on the arm to achieve a correct result just as the fingers must be pressed in the right areas to get the pulse. 

The reason that mason jars seal during the canning process is because of pressure and vacuums that are created during heating and cooling times. When those jars are sealed, they have a long shelf life and give you food for much later down the road. It is pressure that does it!

When a carpenter is building a frame for a house, it is the pressure applied from the hammer to the nail that helps to hold that frame together. He doesn't look at the nail and wish it into the wood. He takes a hammer and smacks the head of the nail which drives it into the wood.

When you are trying to get laws passed or changed you may need to apply pressure to your representatives and elected officials to get the results you are looking for. You apply pressure by calling, emailing or writing to those reps and officials and getting your friends and family to do the same thing. If only one person calls or writes, they may blow it off and not pay any attention because they think that only one person cares about that issue. However, if they hear from MANY people, they tend to take notice. They are elected to be YOUR voice. And, when they don't listen and vote against the majority of the people's voice anyway...it is time to remove them from office at the next election!

Don't sit around whining about the world and the unfairness of government and the craziness that is happening... Do something about it. Help to change it! Apply the pressure in all the areas it is needed...before this country bleeds to death and appeases itself out of existence.

Adventure

 

Adventure is out there.... If you have ever seen the movie "Up" you will know this phrase. I've been thinking a lot lately about life and the journey through it. While adventure is out there for those who seek it, there is also adventure in everyday life. I mean the average individual goes through so much in their life time it is down right unbelievable at times. Come on now, most people have things happen and experiences at different times in their life that you just can't make up! I love the movie "Up". It is funny and sad and the love shown through this old man for his wife is just sweet. She shows him in the end through her "Adventure" book (memory book) that her everyday life with him had been an adventure. (sorry if you have never seen it and I just spoiled parts of it but it is a must see anyway)

I was watching Bob the other day and smiling and thinking of all we have been through together for the past almost 27 years. It really has been an adventure. We have lived in four different states, Colorado, Missouri, Oklahoma, Arkansas and now Missouri again. We have visited many other states, taken a trip to Hawaii and Cancun. Traveled across the country with our daughter from Washington state to Missouri. We brought two children into the world and raised them for God's glory and to serve him. I was told I would probably not be able to have children because doctors didn't think I could carry them due to a pelvic injury from a wreck. We got to watch both of those children get married this spring and summer and know that they waited for the one God had for them. It was very special to know that. God has allowed us to live out several dreams in our marriage by allowing us to have a farm in the country and horses and then guided us into the ministry. We have raised coon dogs, chickens, horses and now bees. We have built a house together (literally did our own contracting and much of the work ourselves ... like putting the fake rock on the fire place) We have been through surgeries, deaths of loved ones, been allowed to work for several years with teens at church (some days we sit and contemplate just what influence we had on them), been the pastor and pastor's wife of a church in Oklahoma, been on staff to learn more in Arkansas, Bob has taught in a Christian school, I learned the ins and outs of how a rock quarry functions, we have now been church planters for 6 years and are empty nesters. We have learned a lot, grown and changed a lot and I hope and pray we continue to do so. All this IS adventure!

It has been a roller coaster ride really. Who doesn't like roller coasters?! There have been many downs and I mean way way downs but many ups and high ups also. Roller coasters are fun with their fast moving twists and turns and hills and thrills. Our life together has been awesome! Fun, laughter, tears, scares, romance, excitement, joy...adventure! Are there things I wish we hadn't had to go through? Sure, some times were hard, very hard. But working in our garden and canning things together, learning about bees and honey,  and growing in our knowledge of God's Word and growing as individuals and learning more about each other every year and every day. Life has been an adventure. I don't feel the need to always be doing something that it is thrilling or exhilarating such as traveling, or mountain climbing or exploring a new land (though I'd enjoy that too) I'm content and feel that my life has been and is an adventure. Even though some days are "same old same old", there is actually comfort in that too. Familiarity is comforting...sustaining. In a world that is ever changing (and not necessarily for the better) it is comforting to have same old same old at my house with the man God gave me many years ago.

Lemon Zucchini Bread

Ingredients:
2 1/3 c. flour
1 1/2 t. baking soda
1/2 t. salt
2 t. cinnamon
------------------------
1 c. sugar
1/3 c. vegetable oil
2 eggs
1 T. lemon juice
1 t. vanilla
3/4 c. sour cream
3 c. grated zucchini
1/2 c. nuts of choice chopped (I prefer almonds)

Glaze:
1 c. powdered sugar
2 T. lemon juice

Preheat oven to 350. Grease 2 loaf pans.
Combine flour, baking soda, salt and cinnamon and set aside. In large bowl beat sugar, oil, & eggs. Mix in lemon juice, vanilla, & sour cream. Add dry ingredients. Mix in zucchini and nuts. Pour batter in pans. Bake 50-60 min or til toothpick comes out clean. Cool on wire rack for 10 mins. then remove from pan to rack and cool.
Mix up glaze and drizzle over loaves.

***This is a very moist bread with great flavor!

Poem - I Am a Pastor's Wife

When he's just preached a sermon

And thinks he went too long.

It's my job to praise him

And tell him he is wrong.

"The message was insightful

And God has used you as His tool".

When no one comes at invitation

And he himself he blames.

I remind him of Satan's power

And the hard hearts he often claims.

"Just preach the word with fire

And let God bring them out of the mire".

When he goes out to win souls

And leads one to the Lord,

It's also my job to rejoice with him

And thank God for one more.

"See, God is using you right now,

So just keep your hand to the plow".

 

written 8/13/09

All wives have the job of supporting and encouraging and praising and reminding their husbands. However, the pastor's wife deals with a lot of discouragement to try to combat Satan. The pastor of a church is the only one that will be held accountable to God for how he lead the church. He has a lot to answer to God for which tends to make him question himself and seek for results. Often we won't see the results or fruit of our labor this side of heaven. He also answers to God for how he lead his family and there is a lot of pressure there too. With decisions we have made for Bob to make some employment changes (he is bi-vocational) I know he has concern in the back of his mind if it was right and will God bless and allow the decision to create the fruit he is hoping for. You pray and when you have peace in a decision, you just have to take the step of faith and do it. Sometimes we miss judge the peace we thought we had and things seem to fall apart but God is always working and moving and His plan is for good. He knows how to work it all for good even if it doesn't seem so at the moment. Anyhoo, I was going through my poems and this one jumped out at me as appropriate for this time in our lives.

The Right Balance

Been thinking a lot about all that is going on in the world today...in our country and where it is headed with the current political scene and the things being crammed down a Christian's throat. Thinking about the lack of morals that seems to be rampant, the apathy even of professing Christians, the lack of honesty & working character, and the "gim'me, gim'me" attitude of a growing number in this country. It is appalling and almost scary to think of young people starting out and trying to raise families. It is getting harder and harder for the Christian to stand up for the Word of God. So, how does a Christian find balance for showing the love of Jesus while still standing on the Word of God in an increasingly hostile against God and Christians world? Well, let me just say, it isn't an easy task!

We have Jesus to look to for an example. People try to say "Well Jesus ate with sinners and spent most of his time with them". This is true but he never took part in their sins or even condoned them. He told the woman caught in adultery, "Neither do I condemn thee, go and sin no more." Jesus didn't have to condemn her verbally, the sin she had committed already did that in God's eyes. There was no need to call her names or ridicule her. He simply told her to go and stop doing it. This passage is also to remind all of us that none of us are without sin and that we should not get a self-righteous attitude toward another's sin. (He who is without sin, let him cast the first stone) Sometimes people are unaware that they are living in sin and that is when we can kindly, respectfully and cautiously let them know that they are going against God's commandments. Even when someone knows that what they are doing is wrong, we can still go about reminding them of God's commands in a loving and caring way. There will be times to be tough about it because sometimes that is what it will take to get through to them but it still needs to be handled in a way that doesn't come across as though you are better than them. It will be a delicate balance at times that can tip too far either way. God is clear that we are to obey Him and not man. We are to convert the sinner of his way and many do not like to hear this but there are verses in the Bible that say that God is angry with the wicked everyday. People need to know that God doesn't like it when they openly and rebelliously disobey His commands and that He will judge them. By the way, a person may fool many people around them about their sin and keep it hid but no one keeps it hid from God Almighty! Abel's blood cried unto God and he knew what Cain had done. (wonder how Cain killed his brother Abel? ...The first murder recorded was in the first 4 or 5 chapters of the Bible and it was long before "assault" weapons or any guns of any kind! - that was just a freebee rant)

So, how do we handle it when homosexuality, gay marriage, pornography, alcoholism, drug abuse, child abuse, profanity, lying, stealing, cheating, adultery, fornication (shacking up instead of marriage), etc. is thrown at us and we are told to accept it as normal choices that each individual has "their right" to do? I say, this country is just about to "right" itself right out of existence! When does one person's rights infringe upon mine or another's? The US Constitution and the Founding Fathers never intended that freedom and rights mean there is no moral or civil law. At some point, someone has to say this is wrong or that is wrong. Who better than God? It is His ball game anyway! He made the game He can make the rules! I guess for me I will repeat what the Bible says no matter who likes it or not. In reality people DO have the right to choose any or all of the above sins and ways of life, but that doesn't mean that I must accept them as normal or that there will not be consequences to them. If the civil law will not punish be sure that God the Father will in His own time and in His own way.

The Harvest So Far!

Just wanted to share how God has blessed us so far with our garden!
We went from this...

To this....

8 pints of Salsa + 1 Qt. --hopefully more to come!

4 Quarts Bread & Butter Pickles

6 pints Pickled Sweet Banana Peppers (more to come!)

7 Qts. + 2 pints Sweet Pickles

9 pints Sweet Relish (two have a red color from the red bell peppers from a different batch)

4 qts. Verde Salsa from our tomatillos (first time planting but will definitely do again!) (hope to get more later)

This doesn't include how God supplied spinach, cilantro for the Verde, lettuce, green onions, red onions, red potatoes, zucchini, and on the way we have close to 30 watermelons, quite a few cantaloupe, yellow & orange bell peppers, Anaheim peppers, jalapeno peppers, Serrano peppers, okra and sweet corn! Oh and we will get pears, apples, and pecans this year too it looks like! So excited to get to make our pear butter! Haven't had any for two years!

God has certainly blessed us this year! We have harvested 16 gallons of honey from our hive too! 

Photo Shoots of My Nieces and Nephew

Captured Moments Photography...Capturing those moments that make up your life! Specializing in black and white photos of children. I also do sepia and color. I prefer natural settings to studio type where you really capture expressions and life! I like to stage scenes that appear like the child is engaged in an activity or actually follow them around to capture those great moments. Below you will see some staged pics but I try to do some creative things with them. Infants are harder to NOT stage than toddlers or bigger children. (They don't do a whole lot!)

Here are some samples...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Good Marriage

This post idea has been rolling around in my head for some time now but I haven't had an opportunity to sit down and write (type) it. With my daughter getting married in a week, the topic of marriage is at hand often. People are constantly telling her how it is hard work and that seems to be what people are always saying. Preachers preach about it, married couples often say it and media tells young people to wait until they are older to commit and delve into marriage. Call me strange but I have never felt as though marriage was work. Even when Bob and I had marriage struggles (prior to church days), I didn't feel like it was a chore to be married. I did question my motivations of love and what love was and who I was but I didn't think "this is work or too much work".

I think what a marriage (and all relationships of any kind) takes is three things...Investment, Forgiveness, and Acceptance.

Time is the most important investment to be made. Attention, care, physical relations, thoughtfulness, etc. If you have invested in these ways, you build up a love bank between the two people.

Forgiveness is letting go of the transgressions, the faults, the mistakes of the other person. Forgetting those faults is also important. God doesn't remind us of the last time we messed up when we go to Him and ask forgiveness. No, those mess ups are as far as the east is from the west and buried in the depths of the sea! (Satan DOES remind us however) Now, when the love bank is full, it is much easier to be forgiving. It is easier to not become bitter and angry when the love bank has been padded and built up by the investing part so it is double-sided. Invest love and bitterness is less likely to build up countering the love so it is easy to let the transgressions and faults of the other person go into the depths of the sea.

Acceptance goes a long way to many things! Accepting a situation for what it is helps you to have peace in the situation and not waste time fighting against what cannot be changed. Accepting the person for ALL their little quirks and imperfections in physical looks and personality builds up the love bank too. Realizing that you have quirks and imperfections as well will help you in this area. Have you noticed that, whether in marriage or friendships, when you are frustrated with someone (because you haven't forgiven!) you are less accepting of their quirks?! Every little thing they do gets on your nerves!!! The things they do or the habits they have, the quirky things, just may as well be fingernails on a chalkboard. However, if the other person has invested enough time, care and attention to the love bank, you will be more forgiving and accepting. All of these three things work together or against in a circle. It takes all three to have a good relationship of any kind.
Now, I know some at this point in reading may be thinking "Well all this you are saying is work". But, if done in love it is not work or shouldn't feel like work. It makes me sad to see and hear people be so down on marriage and struggle to be happy in the relationship. I know that some people make things extremely difficult and one person may have to bend more or forgive more and feel they never get the investment made towards them (and they are often correct in this feeling) but this post is just to let people know that marriage shouldn't be work it is to be ruled by love.

Love is giving and expecting nothing in return. This is true love - sacrificial love. Jesus went to the cross for the sins WE committed not His own just to make a way to have access to God again after Adam and Eve fell to sin in the Garden. He did it even though many reject his sentiment and sacrifice. What a picture of giving and expecting nothing. The offer is just there whether we choose to accept the offer or not.

"But" Leads to Trouble

Just want to share some thoughts I had lately after a Sunday school class. We were talking about doing God's Will and not our own. Anyhoo, I got to thinking about how when you hear someone use the word "but", it is a good indicator they are about to enter sin. For instance..."I know it's wrong, but..." or "I shouldn't, but..." or "I should, but...". These are phrases often followed by "I'm going to anyway" or "I don't care, I want to..". This is self-will OR self-indulgence and self-will usually or at least often means SIN.

We people are like that many times through out the day. Choosing our own wills over what God would have us to do. The spirit is often willing but the flesh is weak! :)

In the past few months, I've had several people say to me that they know it's wrong to live together before marriage but they are going to do it anyway or encourage someone else to do it to find out how the person is before marriage to avoid divorce later on. This is saying you know better than God! Often this subject or pre-marital relations or abstinence is viewed as only for teenagers and not adults. Hmm, I'm not sure God put a time frame on it in His Word!

I've also had people say they know they should spank their children and discipline correctly and timely but they do not; giving all kinds of different excuses. What this boils down to is lazy parenting! Sorry if that offends but I have been guilty of this at times myself so I can say it! We are "too tired" to do it, or we get concerned about what others will say or think, or we lash out in haste at the child instead of correctly and lovingly giving discipline. If we love them we will correct them! God is the ultimate parent and He chastens whom He loves.

We know we shouldn't eat that dessert or have the second or third helping at meal time BUT we do it anyway to satisfy ourselves. Then we have a belly ache or gain more weight than we would like, etc.

We know we should tell others about Jesus and His saving love and grace but we do not. We worry they will think we are a freak or that they will be offended. ...Hey they may be but we are commanded to tell them, what they do about it is up to them.

Therefore,to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin. James 4:17

This verse means that when you know to do right and don't do it, you are in sin! If you know that you are to go to church but decide not to go...you are in sin and need to confess it to God. If you know to witness, to tithe, to be kind, to pray, etc. and do not do those things then these are "sins of omission" and need to be confessed also.

Just some thoughts to ponder....using the word "But" is a sign you may be headed for trouble!

Empty Nesting

Just wanted to share what empty nesting is like ...for us anyways. God helped to ease us into this situation over a period of several years. My daughter was away at Heartland Baptist Bible college for four years (except for summers) and then my son went away for a year at the same college the fall after Jenny graduated. Jenny moved to Batesville, Arkansas for her first teaching job in a Christian school & daycare. She was gone for 9 months (this was our first taste of empty nesting-- her in AR and John in college). She came home for two weeks and then moved to Seattle, Washington for a whole year. Now she is back in Missouri and engaged to be married on June 22, 2013. (Jenny & Ronnie below)

Johnny was home for almost a year after Bible college and then went away for almost five months to welding school. He was home for a month and then moved to Texas last September or October of 2012.

This is his new bride. They got married on March 16, 2013. (Johnny & Kourtney above)

As you can see, God sorta eased us into complete empty nesting. Also God gave us puppies right after John left for Bible college and then there was time helping to take care of my mom and spend time with her before her passing and then Amelia, my niece was born last August (I babysit her several days a month overnight) and now that it is just Bob and I, we have two new puppies. (Bob with Tuff, brown one and Elly, white one)

Some days are hard and I miss my kids a lot but Bob and I have grown even closer as friends and spouses. (and we had a strong relationship and marriage before) The food bill and daily expenses have gone down considerably! There is much more time for romance and quiet time together and even splurging to eat out a little more often. I also don't always have to have a robe on wearing my pjs since John left. Both kids are finally off our car insurance policies.

We have enjoyed gardening and canning and making salsa and pickles and relish, pear butter, etc. for the past three years and we have our current garden mostly in for this year.

So, while I DO miss my kids a lot (especially Johnny cuz he is so far away), empty nesting has its upside too!

Bending the Twig

As the twig is bent, so the tree's inclined....today I want to talk about bending the twig. As parents we have a tremendous responsibility, given by God, to mold, shape and influence our children for Him and for right and wrong. We also have the responsibility to bend our twigs toward their God-given talents and help them to pursue goals that would help them to be successful in life as adults, parents, spouses and most importantly, Christians.

In olden days, small branches of trees were often pulled down and tied off to form a bend in the branch that would point a way on a trail and eventually it would permanently mark the way. It would grow that way in other words. It was a way to influence the tree in the way you wanted it to point. I'm sure this technique was used for other things as well.

You can influence your child towards right or towards wrong. You can influence them towards God or away from God. Children most assuredly (with a few exceptions) live what they are taught. Learn what they live and see daily. Patterns are formed and developed from what they see and hear and learn daily. Have you ever noticed that people who raise their children on assistance from the government on a permanent basis, often have their children grow up and do the same thing? Smokers often raise smokers (tho my sisters and I are an exception to this since not one of us have ever smoked but were raised by smokers and grandparents that smoked) Still, this is not the norm. People who are obese often have children who are obese (and that doesn't always have to do with genetics and chemical make up). People who have anger management problems often have children who fight at school, are rebellious to authority or have tantrums over the simplest of occurrences.  I think you get the picture. There are always exceptions but for the most part kids live the way they have been taught through observation mostly. You can't tell them "do as I say not as I do" and expect that to work. While they are young or even under your roof they may have enough fear of you to comply but that is not what they have truly learned through watching you. What has been instilled is what they have seen you do. That is what will eventually come out in them unless they have made a conscious effort to do otherwise.

There is so much responsibility given to a parent with the influence they have. That is why God gives us a manual to use. So many people don't use the manual. They instead listen to tv talk show hosts (who know diddly squat but rank themselves up there with the Almighty), or psychologists or any other number of beings rather than God. To me one of the biggest factors missing in today's society and world is "Character"... Good Godly Character. One that shows honesty, work ethic and treating people the way you want to be treated. So much of that is out the window.

The best way, in my opinion, to bend the twig is towards God. Help them to rely on God, love God and trust God. It is the most important factor and without it, they will spend an eternity in hell. It is more important than all the book knowledge from a school or a big time career or even who they will someday marry. Having the relationship with God first will make the most difference in their lives.

Just wanted to throw my two cents out there. I know that I don't have a lot of followers to this blog but if I can make one person think and consider the bending of their own twigs then I have accomplished something.

Homemade Quesadillas

I made up a recipe a couple days ago...kept adding to it until Bob today said that smells good and would you make me one (actually I talked him through him making it so mine wouldn't get cold ..he's a good cook too). Anyhoo...
Ingredients:
1 tortilla shell
goat cheese (spreadable)
shredded Colby Jack or cheddar or choice
diced sweet banana peppers
diced southwest chicken or plain
salt (to taste)
pepper (to taste)
garlic powder (to taste)
onion powder (to taste)
cumin powder (to taste)

Take tortilla and spread some goat cheese (mine is similar to cream cheese texture gotten at Aldi's) on one half of shell. Sprinkle with all the different spices as heavy as you may like. Add peppers and chicken and then shredded cheese. Fold tortilla in half. Melt enough butter in pan to coat bottom. place quesadilla in pan and cook a couple minutes til browned (like a grilled cheese) flip over and cook other side. Enjoy!! You can leave out the peppers and chicken for a cheese quesadilla. Also, next time I will used some grilled chopped onions in there also.

Missing Mom

It seems as though my life is a blur most days lately. I have two weddings to get ready for ... one in a week and another in 3 1/2 months. The second one has me more involved than the first since it is my daughter and more responsibility falls to parents of the bride than parents of the groom (usually anyway). I haven't really been a part of the planning at all for my son's. I'm sure it would be different if we lived in the same state but he is 10 hours away in Texas. I have been babysitting my 7 month old niece about 3 over nights a month and she is alot of fun. There have also been couple's retreats, ladies meetings, etc at church to keep me busy. You would think my mind would stay too busy right now to be missing someone I lost almost 2 years ago. But, that is not the case. As fun as taking care of Amelia and playing with her is, it makes me wish my mom was still here enjoying her along with our family. I also see Mom in her face and expressions quite often. She would be so proud of her and the job my sister is doing as a mother. These weddings make me think, "I don't want to do this without Mom here". My mom was a really good grandparent. One who took time with my kids and talked with them as they were growing up. I know she would be so excited for them and proud of the adults they have become. .. Just like I am. Maybe all these moods are coming from it getting close to the anniversary of Mom's death in April. One would think that after two years the memories of all the suffering she went through for over a year and especially the last two weeks would have faded but they have not. It is a very hard thing to watch someone dwindle away and be their care giver and have them plead with you to help them and all you can really do is pray. Until you have been there and done it, you will never know what it is like. Some of our family's experiences were even new to seasoned hospice nurses. There are too many things to go into now and besides most people don't want to hear them, I've learned.  I want so badly to hear her voice and to talk with her and hug her again. With all she went through my mom was so brave. I don't know how you live daily with a terminal disease and actually be on hospice for 9 months. She went 10 months without ever eating by mouth and only rarely drinking anything but tiny sips of water. I don't know how you do that and stay giving and caring to everyone around you. It's not as though she were bed ridden and unaware for 9 months. That didn't happen until probably the last 5 days. So, she was very aware of what was going on around her, though I did watch the chemo, radiation, cancer and pain meds steal her body and mind slowly. My dad died when I was 12 years old two days after I got out of the sixth grade. It was sudden and unexpected because he had just had a physical the week before and then had a massive coronary at age 37. I may be the only person on the planet that ever experienced this but it took me years to have that seem real. To have it not seem like my dad was just gone somewhere in the witness protection program and thinking maybe he will reappear someday. I was at the funeral and saw the body, saw them lower it into the ground also but my mom was remarried and had another baby and it was several years after that before it felt real. I still start to grab my phone to call my mom and then remember I can't.  I just can't hardly believe she won't be there to watch my kids get married or to help Cassy with Amelia or see the twins grow up. I know she is watching from heaven but I can't see her smiling and laughing and approving while she is there. Some days I only want to lay on the couch and do nothing but think about her and miss her. It is such a struggle some days to do...to do the things I am supposed to do. I sometimes watch home movies from when my kids were little just to see her and hear her talk and also to see my grandparents. Many reading this may not understand how I can still struggle so much and hurt so much but I do. I have dealt with so much loss throughout my life beginning at age 4. When Mom first died I had abandonment issues and I absolutely could not watch Bob (my husband) walk out the door or I would freak out. I was terrified he wouldn't be coming back. It helped if I got him ready for work with making his breakfast and packing his lunch and then went back to bed and let him come in and tell me goodbye. There was something about seeing him go out the door that just set me off. He was patient with me though. There are just still days that I want to be held and allowed to cry and talk about Mom.
Most days I am able to do what I need to do but some days I just want to cry.

I just wanted to share my heart today. There are lots of good things happening for me lately but I still do struggle with personal heartache.