Some people are so hard to deal with, aren't they? Let's face it, not everyone is pleasant. Some are obnoxious, angry, dramatic, over talkative, or overly melancholy, and the list goes on. Some people just know how to push our buttons and cause us to react when we wouldn't normally react. If we want to get right down to it, all of us can be that difficult person at times. This is why we should cut some slack to the ones we feel are difficult.
The Bible tells us in Ephesians 4:32 - And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. This is a verse that all of us should commit to memory and embed deep into our hearts. If this verse is in our hearts, we will recall it at those times we are dealing with a difficult person.
We need to remember that those difficult people are giving us a chance to reflect Christ. How we react and respond to them, can show forth the love of Jesus or can be an opportunity to allow Satan to use us in a destructive manner. Did you know that patience is not something that God just zaps into us? It is most often a learned trait that comes through enduring and surviving trials and allowing our mind to have peace and contentment in a situation. Usually the struggle inside us comes from fighting against what we are encountering. When we take a deep breath and accept the situation, the struggle ceases. When we are patient in dealing with a difficult person, it is because we are first and foremost forgiving them for their words or actions, whether we realize this or not. It may also be that we have been through a similar situation in the past or may come from the knowledge of understanding why the person may be acting in the difficult manner. Understanding why a person does what they do always makes them easier to tolerate.
The fact of the matter is, some people are more difficult to deal with than others. At times, we can all be difficult in the right circumstances. We always have a choice in how we react or respond in a situation. More often than not, arguments or other situations escalate because people are reacting instead of remaining calm. They begin slinging words or objects or fists instead of listening and understanding the other person.
This is just a thought provoker. How's your reaction with difficult people? Do you respond as a difficult person right back at them or do you do your best to reflect Christ to them?
I'm sorry it's been quite some time since I posted. Life has been a bit chaotic with illnesses and church busyness.
I want to look at some things we can learn from Job's friends. They take kind of a bad rap. Preachers speak harshly of them (except mine!).
First of all, it tells us in Job 2:11 that his three friends heard of all the evil that had come upon Job and they came together to mourn with him and to comfort him. This is EXACTLY what we should do. The Bible tells us to rejoice with those who rejoice and to weep with them that weep. Romans 12:15
Secondly, in Job 2:13 we see that the friends sat down with him upon the ground seven days and seven nights AND SPOKE NOT A WORD for they saw his grief was great. Sometimes the best thing we can do is just be there. Don't offer advice or recommendations or solutions. We as humans just need to feel as though someone is near. We just need their presence. Maybe a hug is the cure for the moment. Whatever the case, just the NOT being alone often helps.
Later, in verse 3 we see that Job was allowed to vent, to talk and let it out of his system. The friends at this point just listened! Many times, a person will feel better (even if problem isn't fixed) if allowed to just say whatever they are feeling. Do not interrupt them and try to offer advice. Let them speak until they are done. Even when they are done we must tread lightly because they still may not be ready or willing to heed correction, admonition or solutions unsolicited. Even if they ask for an opinion, they may not be ready to hear it.
Thirdly, the friends, when given the chance to speak, take turns trying to reason with Job. They remind him of God's justness and perfection and ask him to judge in himself if he has brought on judgment from God. Now this is why they are criticized by preachers but in reality, it is pretty Biblical. We are to warn sinners of their ways. We are to reprove and rebuke and steer people towards right and Godly thinking.
When I am counseling with someone who is going through struggle after struggle and they can't understand why, I tell them that everything we go through is for our good or for His glory. I tell them to self check and make sure they have not fallen into sin that they have ignored. I tell them that if they pray and ask God to reveal to them what needs confessed and God doesn't bring to mind something then they should realize that God may just be using the trial to strengthen them or maybe God just wasn't afraid to let Satan loose on them (like in the case of Job) because God knew they could be trusted not to turn on God.
Being a good friend who is there when someone is hurting is the best kind of friend. It is the truest friend! I think Job's three friends actually did some things right. I hope this post will help you to be a friend who is there for a friend whether they are weeping or rejoicing. Be there for both!
