Letting God Be Enough

 

My pastor has been preaching some sermons lately from the book of Job. They haven't been verse by verse, line by line expository messages. I think that is a good thing and personally believe that solely expository preaching is over-rated! They have been messages more on thoughts and topics found in the book of Job. Yesterday's sermons and especially the evening message helped me in many ways. 

I have been struggling for months and possibly even years mentally and now I know spiritually with what I believe or what I thought I believed about God and His attributes and what His Word says and how it is applicable to my life. This is forcing me to read and study and work on my walk with the Lord. I am still currently working through some of those things but yesterday's messages helped me in some important ways. 

I have never, as far as I know, struggled with the concept that God is Sovereign. I have long beat the drum and insisted that God created the game of life and that He makes the rules. He is owner, manager, coach and even referee! It's His ball game! 

I have for many years also believed and shouted that God can do anything except lie or be unjust. This means ANYTHING! He can work miracles and often does. NOTHING is out of His capability. However, just because God can, doesn't mean He will. The Bible says that He will have mercy on whom He will have mercy. Exodus 33:19, Romans 9:15 and Romans 9:18. I fully believe that my God is big enough to do anything and handle anything in my life. 

What I realized last night was that I have struggled with Him being enough for me. Pastor posed the questions, "Is God enough if He takes everything from you? If He takes your health, wealth, spouse, parents or children, is God enough? If friends and family are not supportive or turn their backs on you, is God still enough? Is He enough to sustain you? Is He enough to cling to and keep going?" At that moment I felt God tugging at my heart and whispering in my mind, "Tammy, am I enough?" It was a scary question for me. If I answered, "Yes. You are enough, God", would He test me to see if I meant it? Would He begin taking more from me and my life than He already had? I quickly realized that God HAD to be enough. I must resolve in my heart and mind that yes, He is enough! I cannot hold so tightly to my loved ones that I put them above God in my heart. I think everyone struggles with that at times because our loved ones are right here and can be seen and touched in person. To me that is just understandable whether right or wrong, it is just easy to have happen.

Here is a bit of back story about me...

I grew up believing that I was plain and ordinary and without many talents. I was someone who was not too impressive. I believed I was not important except to my parents and grandparents and that I didn't matter much in this world. This carried over into adulthood. As a young adult I even struggled with suicidal thoughts and believing that everyone would be better off if I were gone from this world and that it would not even matter that I was ever here. God in His mercy and grace and in a very personal way helped me through all that. 

Because of these wrong beliefs I sought my worth, even until very recently, in doing for others. I believed if I just did enough to help others and made them feel special that it would prove that I had a right to exist. Unconsciously, I also sought praise and accolades in my talent of cooking, in my creative ability for event planning and in Bible teaching to other women. I also sought that in my writing both in my blog and in my books. I just kept searching for those praises to make me feel worthy of my very life. 

When you hold on tightly to finding your worth in doing for others and in praises of men (even if it's family and friends) instead of KNOWING your worth is in Christ who loved you enough to be tortured and die for your soul, then your heart is often doomed to ache. I know much about this because I have been struggling with deep hurt for months. I have longed for support and praise from people rather than resting in the knowing that God loves me and I DO matter and I am important. He has a purpose for me and I must rest and find peace in Him alone. 

Frankly, I have been having a months long pity party and someone helped me to see it. They helped me realize that I may not be as talented as I think in some areas and that was a hard pill to swallow. They also helped me see that I wasn't seeing the support that I was being given just because I was too focused on the non support of a few. They were right even if those realizations were painful to accept. The sermon last night spoke to me when feeling abandoned and or unsupported was mentioned because I had felt that way for a year or more and was allowing myself to dwell on it. The sermon helped me realize that God's love and care should be enough because He is trustworthy. My new outlook is that God must be enough for me. 

This is not meant to be a passive aggressive blog post in order to have people praise me. It is just a sharing of my heart about realizations and things that God spoke to me about through sermons and someone close to me being brave enough to hurt me. Maybe someone reading this will relate to what I have been going through and be helped. As I have said over and over, my blog is my therapy and is much cheaper than paying for it! It only costs possible critical comments. 

Life as a Fixer

 

When I talk about being a fixer I am not talking about being a lawyer for a powerful and influential family. I'm also not talking about a person who cleans up messes for a mafia or crime lord family like you see on TV shows or movies. I am talking about being someone who does their best to help solve the problems of family and friends.

These people, these "fixers" have deep desires to take on the trials and burdens of those around them. They become consumed at times with trying to figure out how to help lift the load of those who are hurting physically, mentally or financially. They sacrifice time, energy and money in order to help those they love and care about. They always want to fix whatever problem others are facing.

I know of where I speak because I AM one of those fixers! As a matter of fact, I come from a long line of fixers on both sides of my family. My mom always tried to help people, especially her children. Her mom, my grandma, was also a fixer. She always tried to help family and friends with money problems. My grandma on my dad's side lived a life as a fixer. She was always trying to be a help and make life easier for her family. She gave and loaned money and had family members move in with her so they could get back on their feet. I have cousins who lean hard towards the "fixer" mentality, too.

I tend to take on burdens of every sort from those around me. I have done so since childhood. I so desperately want no one I care about to struggle physically, mentally or financially. If I can help fix it, then I want to do so and often go to great lengths to help. I'm pretty sure that's a good thing in this world. The problem comes in when we ignore care of ourselves. We fixers tend to neglect to get proper rest, sleep or food because we get so burdened in our hearts and minds for our loved ones' situations. Self care goes right out the window as we listen to the trials and burdens that everyone is dealing with. We go about trying to fix their problems at sometimes great cost to us mentally and physically. We can make ourselves sick with concern and searching for solutions for them. 

I know that prayer and giving things over to God is what is most necessary. It is not always easy to do, though! Our fixer tendencies come out, making it harder to let go and let God handle it. This shows our deep compassion for others. I've not met a "fixer" yet that wasn't a compassionate person. Be grateful for the fixers in your life. It's not always easy for them and remember that sometimes your fixer needs fixing, too!

When Truth Hurts

 

We all need people in our lives that help us to feel supported. We want and need validation sometimes. We need to feel like there are people on our team or in our corner, so to speak. I believe these are needs that God has placed deep within us. There is much scripture to support this idea. In the Bible we are told to bear one another's burdens. We are told to have fellowship together. We are told to weep with each other and to rejoice with each other. We are to encourage each other. 

We also need people in our lives to tell us the truth, even if it may hurt us. We need people to hold up a mirror to us that reflects back to us how we are acting. We may need to hear that we are over-reacting to a situation or being too sensitive or just being a whiner who is having a pity party. Maybe we need to gently be told that we are not as talented in an area as we think. Sometimes we need to be told we are caught up in sin or not seeing a situation clearly. Both types of people are needed in our lives. 

There are going to be times in our lives when we won't have those feelings of support we desperately want. This can cause hurt just the same as the convicting truths cause hurt. The difference will be that one involves correcting oneself and making changes. The other involves forgiving those who hurt in their failure to give wanted support. People disappoint us sometimes. There will be times in life when friends and family will be too busy, too selfish, too momentarily spiteful or too whatever to lend support to us. It's going to happen. What we do with the hurts of nonsupport or hurtful truths can make or break us in any given moment. If not handled correctly, we will face mental and physical problems. 

May God bless those who are always there cheering us on and those willing to wound us with truth or constructive criticism, because both are needed in life! 

Being a Thermometer and a Thermostat

 

Let's start by explaining what each of these items are used for in daily life. A thermometer is an instrument that reads and tells you the temperature of a given area. It can be used outdoors or inside a building. A thermostat allows a person to set the temperature to a chosen certain degree of temperature inside a building. 

There are times in life when it is necessary to be one or the other and often both. It is important as moms, grandmas, friends, bosses and Christians to be a thermometer. We need to be able to read the temperature of a room of people or a situation. A watchful eye, carefully listening ear and a little wisdom will help us determine if there is a problem arising. When we feel the temperature rising in our area, we can step in and help to diffuse the situation. By the same token, if the room seems cold and drab and as though people are not warming up to one another or interacting as we hoped, we can also do something to help break the ice.

We are thermometers when we read the temperature of the room but when we step in to help change the temperature, we then become the thermostat. At our house we go over and change the setting on the thermostat of our furnace or central air unit depending on how warm or cold we feel in the house. It's as simple as hitting a button or turning a dial. 

Unfortunately, when dealing with people and temperatures of a situation, it takes more than hitting a button. People won't always respond in the way you hope as easily as an electrical device. Experience will help you get better at being a thermometer and a thermostat in most situations of life. 

There are many devotionals you can find online that tell you to be the thermostat and not the thermometer. I suppose as I read through those I can see their point. However, life is a balance and I think it's important to be both as you travel life's journey and deal with people. Many a problem can be diffused if we first read the temperature of the situation and then become the thermostat to set everything to a new degree. 

Just something to ponder. I can't believe I have gone well into March of 2024 before even making a single blog post. In my defense, I am again working on another book to publish on Amazon KDP and have devoted my time to that. Be on the look out for a release date some time in the near future.