Letting God Be Enough

 

My pastor has been preaching some sermons lately from the book of Job. They haven't been verse by verse, line by line expository messages. I think that is a good thing and personally believe that solely expository preaching is over-rated! They have been messages more on thoughts and topics found in the book of Job. Yesterday's sermons and especially the evening message helped me in many ways. 

I have been struggling for months and possibly even years mentally and now I know spiritually with what I believe or what I thought I believed about God and His attributes and what His Word says and how it is applicable to my life. This is forcing me to read and study and work on my walk with the Lord. I am still currently working through some of those things but yesterday's messages helped me in some important ways. 

I have never, as far as I know, struggled with the concept that God is Sovereign. I have long beat the drum and insisted that God created the game of life and that He makes the rules. He is owner, manager, coach and even referee! It's His ball game! 

I have for many years also believed and shouted that God can do anything except lie or be unjust. This means ANYTHING! He can work miracles and often does. NOTHING is out of His capability. However, just because God can, doesn't mean He will. The Bible says that He will have mercy on whom He will have mercy. Exodus 33:19, Romans 9:15 and Romans 9:18. I fully believe that my God is big enough to do anything and handle anything in my life. 

What I realized last night was that I have struggled with Him being enough for me. Pastor posed the questions, "Is God enough if He takes everything from you? If He takes your health, wealth, spouse, parents or children, is God enough? If friends and family are not supportive or turn their backs on you, is God still enough? Is He enough to sustain you? Is He enough to cling to and keep going?" At that moment I felt God tugging at my heart and whispering in my mind, "Tammy, am I enough?" It was a scary question for me. If I answered, "Yes. You are enough, God", would He test me to see if I meant it? Would He begin taking more from me and my life than He already had? I quickly realized that God HAD to be enough. I must resolve in my heart and mind that yes, He is enough! I cannot hold so tightly to my loved ones that I put them above God in my heart. I think everyone struggles with that at times because our loved ones are right here and can be seen and touched in person. To me that is just understandable whether right or wrong, it is just easy to have happen.

Here is a bit of back story about me...

I grew up believing that I was plain and ordinary and without many talents. I was someone who was not too impressive. I believed I was not important except to my parents and grandparents and that I didn't matter much in this world. This carried over into adulthood. As a young adult I even struggled with suicidal thoughts and believing that everyone would be better off if I were gone from this world and that it would not even matter that I was ever here. God in His mercy and grace and in a very personal way helped me through all that. 

Because of these wrong beliefs I sought my worth, even until very recently, in doing for others. I believed if I just did enough to help others and made them feel special that it would prove that I had a right to exist. Unconsciously, I also sought praise and accolades in my talent of cooking, in my creative ability for event planning and in Bible teaching to other women. I also sought that in my writing both in my blog and in my books. I just kept searching for those praises to make me feel worthy of my very life. 

When you hold on tightly to finding your worth in doing for others and in praises of men (even if it's family and friends) instead of KNOWING your worth is in Christ who loved you enough to be tortured and die for your soul, then your heart is often doomed to ache. I know much about this because I have been struggling with deep hurt for months. I have longed for support and praise from people rather than resting in the knowing that God loves me and I DO matter and I am important. He has a purpose for me and I must rest and find peace in Him alone. 

Frankly, I have been having a months long pity party and someone helped me to see it. They helped me realize that I may not be as talented as I think in some areas and that was a hard pill to swallow. They also helped me see that I wasn't seeing the support that I was being given just because I was too focused on the non support of a few. They were right even if those realizations were painful to accept. The sermon last night spoke to me when feeling abandoned and or unsupported was mentioned because I had felt that way for a year or more and was allowing myself to dwell on it. The sermon helped me realize that God's love and care should be enough because He is trustworthy. My new outlook is that God must be enough for me. 

This is not meant to be a passive aggressive blog post in order to have people praise me. It is just a sharing of my heart about realizations and things that God spoke to me about through sermons and someone close to me being brave enough to hurt me. Maybe someone reading this will relate to what I have been going through and be helped. As I have said over and over, my blog is my therapy and is much cheaper than paying for it! It only costs possible critical comments. 

Life as a Fixer

 

When I talk about being a fixer I am not talking about being a lawyer for a powerful and influential family. I'm also not talking about a person who cleans up messes for a mafia or crime lord family like you see on TV shows or movies. I am talking about being someone who does their best to help solve the problems of family and friends.

These people, these "fixers" have deep desires to take on the trials and burdens of those around them. They become consumed at times with trying to figure out how to help lift the load of those who are hurting physically, mentally or financially. They sacrifice time, energy and money in order to help those they love and care about. They always want to fix whatever problem others are facing.

I know of where I speak because I AM one of those fixers! As a matter of fact, I come from a long line of fixers on both sides of my family. My mom always tried to help people, especially her children. Her mom, my grandma, was also a fixer. She always tried to help family and friends with money problems. My grandma on my dad's side lived a life as a fixer. She was always trying to be a help and make life easier for her family. She gave and loaned money and had family members move in with her so they could get back on their feet. I have cousins who lean hard towards the "fixer" mentality, too.

I tend to take on burdens of every sort from those around me. I have done so since childhood. I so desperately want no one I care about to struggle physically, mentally or financially. If I can help fix it, then I want to do so and often go to great lengths to help. I'm pretty sure that's a good thing in this world. The problem comes in when we ignore care of ourselves. We fixers tend to neglect to get proper rest, sleep or food because we get so burdened in our hearts and minds for our loved ones' situations. Self care goes right out the window as we listen to the trials and burdens that everyone is dealing with. We go about trying to fix their problems at sometimes great cost to us mentally and physically. We can make ourselves sick with concern and searching for solutions for them. 

I know that prayer and giving things over to God is what is most necessary. It is not always easy to do, though! Our fixer tendencies come out, making it harder to let go and let God handle it. This shows our deep compassion for others. I've not met a "fixer" yet that wasn't a compassionate person. Be grateful for the fixers in your life. It's not always easy for them and remember that sometimes your fixer needs fixing, too!

When Truth Hurts

 

We all need people in our lives that help us to feel supported. We want and need validation sometimes. We need to feel like there are people on our team or in our corner, so to speak. I believe these are needs that God has placed deep within us. There is much scripture to support this idea. In the Bible we are told to bear one another's burdens. We are told to have fellowship together. We are told to weep with each other and to rejoice with each other. We are to encourage each other. 

We also need people in our lives to tell us the truth, even if it may hurt us. We need people to hold up a mirror to us that reflects back to us how we are acting. We may need to hear that we are over-reacting to a situation or being too sensitive or just being a whiner who is having a pity party. Maybe we need to gently be told that we are not as talented in an area as we think. Sometimes we need to be told we are caught up in sin or not seeing a situation clearly. Both types of people are needed in our lives. 

There are going to be times in our lives when we won't have those feelings of support we desperately want. This can cause hurt just the same as the convicting truths cause hurt. The difference will be that one involves correcting oneself and making changes. The other involves forgiving those who hurt in their failure to give wanted support. People disappoint us sometimes. There will be times in life when friends and family will be too busy, too selfish, too momentarily spiteful or too whatever to lend support to us. It's going to happen. What we do with the hurts of nonsupport or hurtful truths can make or break us in any given moment. If not handled correctly, we will face mental and physical problems. 

May God bless those who are always there cheering us on and those willing to wound us with truth or constructive criticism, because both are needed in life! 

Being a Thermometer and a Thermostat

 

Let's start by explaining what each of these items are used for in daily life. A thermometer is an instrument that reads and tells you the temperature of a given area. It can be used outdoors or inside a building. A thermostat allows a person to set the temperature to a chosen certain degree of temperature inside a building. 

There are times in life when it is necessary to be one or the other and often both. It is important as moms, grandmas, friends, bosses and Christians to be a thermometer. We need to be able to read the temperature of a room of people or a situation. A watchful eye, carefully listening ear and a little wisdom will help us determine if there is a problem arising. When we feel the temperature rising in our area, we can step in and help to diffuse the situation. By the same token, if the room seems cold and drab and as though people are not warming up to one another or interacting as we hoped, we can also do something to help break the ice.

We are thermometers when we read the temperature of the room but when we step in to help change the temperature, we then become the thermostat. At our house we go over and change the setting on the thermostat of our furnace or central air unit depending on how warm or cold we feel in the house. It's as simple as hitting a button or turning a dial. 

Unfortunately, when dealing with people and temperatures of a situation, it takes more than hitting a button. People won't always respond in the way you hope as easily as an electrical device. Experience will help you get better at being a thermometer and a thermostat in most situations of life. 

There are many devotionals you can find online that tell you to be the thermostat and not the thermometer. I suppose as I read through those I can see their point. However, life is a balance and I think it's important to be both as you travel life's journey and deal with people. Many a problem can be diffused if we first read the temperature of the situation and then become the thermostat to set everything to a new degree. 

Just something to ponder. I can't believe I have gone well into March of 2024 before even making a single blog post. In my defense, I am again working on another book to publish on Amazon KDP and have devoted my time to that. Be on the look out for a release date some time in the near future.

One Holy Night

 

Wow! It's been awhile since I posted. I am not sure I have ever gone this long between posts. I was busy writing and publishing an eBook on Amazon KDP and continuing with a second book which I am determined to make long enough to be available in print. 

With Christmas approaching I wanted to talk about things surrounding that holy night. There are Christians who think it is wrong to celebrate Christmas. There are several reasons given. One is that we are never told to remember Jesus' birth in the Bible, only His death. Another is that it is celebrated at the wrong time of year. 

Well, I want to cover both of those today. While there is not a command given to remember His birth. I think that the fact that so much detail is written about the birth in Scripture, tells me that we ARE to remember. Are we not given the Bible to read, meditate on and study so that we can tell others? I am not sure we can fully cover telling people about Jesus dying without telling HOW He came. After all, if there wasn't a miraculous virgin birth, the dying on the cross as the sacrificial lamb would be pointless. God had the writers tell the story with many small details included. It's the details that make it important. I will look at some of the seen and unseen details later. 

Since we don't know the exact day that Jesus was born, I don't think it matters when it is celebrated. It's only important that we celebrate that Jesus came willingly to earth in a humble manner. He came in human flesh to experience all we experience. He came as a baby, needing care and instruction. He had earthly parents whom He was subject to (Luke 2:51). He increased in wisdom and stature (Luke 2:52). He got hungry and thirsty and angry (Mark 11:12, John 19:28, Mark 3:5). He cried (John 11:35). He was tempted as we are but never sinned (Hebrews 2:18, 4:15). He came to suffer and die and rise again to usher in salvation and the mystery of the church age. There would have been no cross without that cradle! Jesus could have come in any way but God's plan, that was prophesied, was that He would come as a baby born to a virgin. I think that we should celebrate Christmas as long as we keep Jesus in the forefront of the season! He came to give the greatest gift ever given...Salvation, a way to be reconciled back to God even though we sin.

Now let's look at some of the unseen details. Mary was told that she would miraculously conceive and give birth to the Son of God. She as far as we know, did not know that He would some day walk on water as the song questions. She knew He was the Messiah but did not know the ins and outs and whens of the sequence of events as she raised Him. She still worried over Him as seen in the story when He went missing after the Passover feast and was found 3 days later in the temple. I love the show The Chosen. It gives such a human vantage point to draw from. One of my favorite episodes and scenes in the show is when Mary is telling the disciples around the campfire about having to wipe Jesus off after the birth. She goes on to tell how she and Joseph thought to themselves "this is the Son of God?" They obviously are in wonderment thinking that Jesus would have come out shiny and new and without any mess because of who He was. Now, we have no Scripture reporting that Mary and Joseph thought these things but I personally can see why they might have. The fact that Jesus came as a baby meant that He would know every aspect of what we humans go through. 

Recently, someone shared on Facebook a well written poem or story about how Mary knew she would be with child and it would be the Son of God but that Mary's mother did not know. Her mom did not have an angel come to her as far as we know from Scripture. Only Mary and Joseph got the privilege of an angel coming and telling them. Was Mary's mom supportive or did she think she was telling crazy stories? Did she suspect that Mary did not keep herself pure? How would you have handled it? As a parent, our instinct is to protect and encourage and correct but Mary's story was truly unbelievable. Did her mom face ridicule and judgement right along with Mary? Probably! That's the way people are. They stand in judgement of the parents when a child messes up. Just something to ponder. We will not know this side of heaven but this gives us another aspect of what Mary went through. By the way, Joseph probably also faced ridicule and gossip. 

Now, what about the inn keeper? Nope, there is no talk about an inn keeper in the Bible. Guess what! There is talk about how there was no room for them in the inn. An inn is a hotel, a public dwelling place. Therefore, it stands to reason that there was someone in charge of receiving payment from people to stay there. Someone like an inn keeper! That's a no brainer people! Did God foresee that preachers would some day preach about how we should not be like the inn keeper and make room for Jesus? I don't know but it sure makes for good sermons! Can you imagine how that inn keeper may have felt someday down the road about not allowing the Son of God into his inn? I wonder if the man ever knew that Jesus, the Messiah, was put out into the stable? Can you imagine the guilt? Hmm. How often do we fail to make room? How often do we fail to see what God is trying to show us or work out around us? 

This is starting to get a little long so I will wrap it up. One Holy Night that forever changed the world! A night that 33 years or so later led to a cross that brought redemption and salvation to mankind! Yep, I will celebrate! 

The Love and Care of God

 

I want to talk about how God, in Scripture, shows us how to love and care for others. We have everything we need to know in how to raise our children and how to deal with friends and extended family and even strangers we encounter out in the world, right there in black and white and red, in the Bible. 

His examples of discipline, provision, love and care are found all throughout His Word. Awhile back, while sitting in church listening to a sermon, we were being reminded of how God was angered by the disobedience of the Israelites and how He had them wander in the desert for 40 years as a result. It dawned on me during that sermon that God loved and cared for them all during that 40 years. This included those who were disobedient in heart and failed to trust in what He told them. They had to stay outside of the Promised Land until all who had been disobedient were died off. However, He took care of them during that 40 year punishment! He lead them by pillars of cloud and fire. He gave manna, meat, turned bitter water to sweet, gave water from a rock, and told them precisely where to move their tents. He gave precise instruction on how to build a tabernacle in order to worship Him, protected from enemies, gave commandments on how to live their daily lives and all during a period of discipline or punishment as it were. 

You see, just as He still loves us even when we mess up and He must chasten us, we still love our children even though we must discipline them. As a matter of fact, God commands us to correct and discipline our children when they step outside of our rules. The bible says in Hebrews 12:6 - For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. Hebrews 12:8 - But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. Proverbs 22:15 - Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. Proverbs 29:17 - Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul. Proverbs 22:6 - Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. When we have our children be in correction and discipline, we do not withhold love and affection, or provision of food, shelter, laundry or whatever. At least, we do not if we follow God's example. He cared for those who He had been angry with right up until their deaths. They just did not get to enter the earthly promised land.

We are also to tell others the error of their ways by correcting them and showing them from scripture where they are going astray. Mind you, this is not done piously or as though we are not capable of falling. James 5:20 - Let him know, that he which converteth the sinner from the error of his way shall save a soul from death, and shall hide a multitude of sins. We are to spread the gospel to all. This will include showing them their sinful state.  When a fellow Christian is stepping out into sin, we are to restore such an one. Galations 6:1 - Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted. 

When David sinned with Bathsheba, it was Nathan the prophet who told him a story and when David was angered over the person in the story who sinned, Nathan said, "Thou art the man." God used Nathan to convict David of his sin and in turn David humbled himself and sought forgiveness from God. God still punished David by taking his newborn son conceived with Bathsheba. Later, God gave David and Bathsheba their son, Solomon who went on to be a great king after David died. Though God punished David for his sin, He didn't turn away and leave David. He continued to bless and help him and called David "a man after God's own heart". 

We cannot fully comprehend the love and care of God in our human minds. The Bible says that His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are higher than ours. We just trust that He is Sovereign and in charge and maketh no mistake! He loves us even when He is compelled to discipline us. 

What To Do With Hurt Feelings

 

Hello there! It's been a little while since I blogged. I want to talk about what to do when someone hurts us. It happens to all of us. We can be wounded, sometimes deeply, by friends, family, and even strangers. People are often self-centered, speak or act without thinking or just plain old mean intentionally. We can be guilty of hurting others also.

One of the first things biblically speaking that we should do is forgive. Forgive immediately even through the hurt. The hurt may still sting but forgiveness is the best thing for your heart and soul. Once you forgive, you can more easily control your own temper as you talk to the person and let them know they have hurt you. Ephesians 4:31-32 says Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: 32 - And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. 

We must resist the urge to retaliate. Romans 12:17-19 reminds us Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. 18 - If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. 19 - Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. This is harder to follow than to say I know! It goes on in verse 21 to say Be not overcome with evil, but overcome evil with good. 

Colossians 3:12-13 says Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; 13 - Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. 

I realize in the moment, in the freshness of the wound, these commands of God are hard to follow. However, if we will keep a humble mind full of meekness and remember that we sometimes hurt others it will help. 

Another thing that will help is to not allow ourselves to dwell on it. Don't let your mind linger thinking and thinking about what the person said or did. Philippians 4:8 says Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. 

Something else to do is to stop and self evaluate. Is there any truth to what someone said about you? Are you guilty of what they may be saying about you? Maybe you need to try to make some changes within yourself. If what they said isn't true, then remember that God loves you so much he sent Jesus to die and make a way back to having a relationship with Him and you are fearfully and wonderfully made...these are things that are true and pure and honest and absolutely lovely to let your mind dwell on. 

One more thing... it will help in your forgiving if you remember that maybe the person was just having a bad day and lashing out or just speaking without thinking. Everyone is careless with words sometimes. 

I hope this was an encouragement to someone. 

 

To See the World

 The above lines are just the beginning stanza of a much longer poem. If you google this poem you will find various opinions of what it means. I'm not sure if any of the opinions are fully grasping the meaning. At least not how I see it.

What comes to my mind is for us to truly SEE what is before us each day. See everything for the specialness in which God created and intended them to be. A grain of sand is but a speck that built a beach. A wildflower is planted by God and shares with us a fraction of the beauty of heaven. When we look at God's creation through aww of Him, we can experience just a glimpse of infinity and eternity. What a beautiful world God made!

When we look at people through God's eyes, we see the souls He wants to save. ---For God so loved the world...John 3:16 --- He's not willing that any should perish...2 Peter 3:9

If we would see the world with heaven's view, we would love more purely, forgive more freely and witness about saving grace more tediously. See! Open your heart and see! 

Just a thought that's been on my heart lately. Hope it was an encouragement.

Fences for Protection

 

I heard a preacher say recently that fences are to protect. We fence yards to keep young children and pets safe from the street. People live in gated, fenced communities for safety for those who live there from strangers that may cause harm. 

Prisons have fences to protect the public from convicted criminals. Without those fences the criminal would probably go right back out and keep committing crimes. 

Fences at the borders of countries are meant to protect the citizens from those who would enter to cause harm. It also helps to protect the sovereignty of that country and the rights of the citizens. Rights and privileges of a country belong solely to it's citizens! This topic has become very divisive in the USA since 2008 and used politically to reinforce the divide and to try to gain votes in my opinion. 

We also tend to put up fences around our hearts as protection. We do this to try to prevent hurt and protect our emotional and mental well being. There is definitely a time and place for this but it can also be detrimental. We can keep people at such arms length that we never have real and honest relationships. Finding the balance between what kind of fence and how high of one to build and leaving a gate open to allow some people in and close can be tricky. We should remember that we shouldn't make one person pay for the sins of hurting us that another person committed. 

Just something to think about.

Carving Out a Place

 

It seems that we spend our lives trying to carve out our own spot in the world. Even as children and teens, at the same time we're trying to find a group to connect and fit in with, we're also trying to find our own identity and way to stand out and be noticed for our special talents and abilities. Not sure if that's pride or what. I think more likely it's wanting to matter. Wanting to matter in this world as we make a way of life for ourselves and those we care about. So, we chisel and carve a little here and a little there as we forge ahead. 

Some are trying to carve a place in their career, and see just where they can excel. Others are trying to carve a place in their education. Especially in higher education as they hope for knowledge to better themselves. 

Young couples are doing their best to carve out a place in the world separate from their parents. To make their own choices and see where life takes them.

The past two years my husband and I have been trying to carve a new way of life different  than we lived for 18 years. We're trying to use knowledge and wisdom gained from that former carving and see where we can chisel ahead to a place in a new church with different roles. To find more and new ways to minister to people. It's not easy. 

Sometimes the chisel and even the pick ax seem too dull and heavy for the task. Sometimes the area you're trying to carve on seems like granite and you're never going to get through to the place you long for so desperately. Just keep carving. Some day you'll look around and realize you do have a place and the carving is beautiful even if there's flaws where the chisel slipped.  

Book Review - Just Open the Door

 

I promised some people I would give a review of this book by Jen Schmidt when I finished. First of all, I am not being paid for my review. The author doesn't know I am doing this. 

I really enjoyed the read! For years I have struggled with the thought and feeling that there HAD to be more to ministry than what happens in and around the church. After all, ministry at the core is about serving people. While that may include cleaning at the church or working in the nursery, it more appropriately should be about reaching out to others and mentoring them. It's about showing people the love, compassion, mercy and grace of Jesus. 

The premise of the book is to use hospitality as a way to reach out and mentor people. It drives home the point of simplicity and spontaneity. Don't wait for a perfect home or the perfect moment to invite others over. It doesn't have to be a grand affair that causes great stress. It reminds us to step out of the comfort zone and open the door even to someone new to us or different than us. 

It also pushes you to look deep at your motives when you want to have guests over and make it a big and perfect production. Is it pride? Is it wanting praise from others for your production? Or is it to genuinely reach others and show them love, care and compassion? I was convicted several times as I read! 

I confess that I wasn't always a submissive wife when we were in full time ministry. My husband would have liked to have people over every weekend or Sunday. I resisted this idea. Not, that we never had people over but I just had a hard time with doing it on a regular and constant basis. I felt like we gave so much of ourselves all week with the physical prep for church services and the visiting of members and potential members that I wanted our home to be a refuge and a place to shut out the world and allow us to veg out for awhile. (we were in a small church with little help with the day to day) I also felt exhausted and like I just wasn't up for the prep work on my house for company (I admit I am not the greatest housekeeper) or the cooking involved in extra mouths to feed. I love to cook but just felt overwhelmed by the idea of it all. 

This book helped me see it can be simple and that all people really want is an inviting, cozy, fun and comfortable atmosphere where they can engage in conversation and get to know one another better. Most people won't care if there are imperfections in the carpet or furniture or even a bit of dirt around. What they WILL care about is that you cared enough to invite them over and engaged in their life.

Jen Schmidt loads this book with personal stories that inspire your creative juices and practical ideas to help you get started opening the door both at home and even on the go. I have already been inspired and am looking forward to putting into practice the things she talked about and the ideas she has sparked within me. 

I highly recommend this book for inspiration and ideas to take on a new perspective in ministering to others. My husband got the book for me for Christmas. He ordered it on Christianbook.com. I hope you will get your own copy and get inspired! 

Commas & Periods in Life

 

A period in grammar is intended to show the end of a sentence or a statement or thought. A comma is a  pause between parts of a sentence. 

The above graphic shows a common saying that people use to encourage others. Essentially, what it means is that we should not make rash life decisions and possibly end certain areas of life when God may only intend for you to take a pause and regroup before continuing on. 

Discerning which God is bringing in our lives can be difficult. At times it may feel like a period. It may feel like the end and we may be ready to give up on a particular dream or idea or whatever. Later, we may realize that it was only a comma in life. It was just God saying "Pause and wait on me". God knows what we need and what is best. He may know we need a rest mentally or physically so He causes a delay. He knows when we need more training and aren't yet ready for what we desire or are pursuing. 

I know people who tried for years to have a child and had given up hope and placed a period for that part of life. Then all at once the woman became pregnant and then realized it was just a comma God had placed. I also know someone who made the decision to place a period on having anymore children. She had a tuba ligation. FIVE YEARS later God surprised her with another child and then another after that! 

Sometimes we place periods on careers. I know someone who had a degree and a prestigious type job and left it to do something completely unrelated. Several years later God made it so she couldn't continue in the new career path due to health problems. She went back to her original career only with added areas. It was really only a comma. As she is continuing that degree career she has also pursued a second one by opening a café. She also is selling honey and honey products after beginning beekeeping. I'd say she's a go-getter even though she still has the health issues. She has allowed God to place the periods and commas in her life. 

In 2020 we left full time ministry to minister to my in-laws. We are hoping this is only a comma in our lives. There is much we love about full time ministry and we are waiting to see how God moves. However, we know that right now ministry to family is most important. I also think that God is using this time to grow us. We've learned quite a bit over the past 2 1/2 years and I hope that means God will show us that it really was just a comma and pause from full time ministry.

As I said, it's not easy to tell which God is doing. Sometimes, often times, we don't know until hindsight but we should always make our decisions prayerfully and trust God and let Him do the placing of the periods and commas.

Learning From the Apostle Paul

 

I want to look at some take-aways from the life of Paul. Things we can learn. Of course we can read all the books of the Bible he wrote but I am not necessarily talking about what he taught. I want to look at Paul's life. His character and who he was.

Much of his life as a whole is covered in the book of Acts but we will look at other books, too. First of all, Paul didn't just preach the gospel. He wrote letters to different groups of people to teach and train them about how to live a Christian life. We should take a cue from Paul and do our best to train people after they are saved. I say, as I have before, that witnessing can change the population of heaven but discipleship can change the world!

Paul was bold and outspoken in teaching and correcting doctrine. He didn't care if it offended. He just stood for the truth. He even stood up to Peter and other Apostles when they were stepping back into Jewish traditions or acting ashamed of Christ. We, too, should stand on the truth of God's Word unapologetically. We can do this in a loving manner and not go out of our way to offend or be hateful.

Paul didn't beat down doors. He asked for people to pray with him for open doors so the Word of the Lord would have free course. (2 Thessalonians 3:1) He also didn't stay and keep preaching where he wasn't wanted. In Acts 13:51 he and Barnabas shook off the dust of their feet against the Jews who expelled them out of their coasts and went on to the next city. In Acts 18:6 Paul shook his raiment and told the Jews "Your blood be upon your own heads; I am clean. From henceforth I will go unto the Gentiles". Paul was of course speaking about that particular city because we know from further reading in Acts that Paul still preached the gospel to Jews in other places after that. I believe these facts about Paul should remind us that you can't make people hear what they are unwilling to hear. ---Really about anything in life even if it's truth. 

One of Paul's prayer requests was that his fellow Jews would be saved. (Romans 10:1) We, too, should pray for our loved ones to trust in Christ. We can pray that the right thing would be said by us or someone else they encounter to soften their hearts towards the saving knowledge of Jesus. We also need to tell them not just pray for them! Pray for the open door to speak to them. Pray for God's Word to penetrate their heart. Pray for boldness and courage to open your mouth to speak to them. 

See, we can learn more from Paul than just his teachings about how to live a Christian life! 

More Than an Addict

 

So many people write off addicts as good for nothing. I confess that I used to be one of those people. God has spoken to my heart over the past several years and changed my mind. 

I have had family and friends have to deal with their children who were addicted to drugs or alcohol. Now I understand that each of those "good for nothing" addicts is someone's child no matter how old. Each one has a parent who is heart broke over watching their child destroy themselves. I've watched those parents cry, pray, try putting them in rehab and also try tough love. I've seen their agony up close and personal. My heart would break as I watched them at their whit's end. I am very thankful to God that He spared us going through that with our kids. 

There was a time when I didn't understand addiction. Trying to give up soda and sugar has taught me well about addiction! Those things are not near as hard on the body as drugs or alcohol but God still used them to change my heart. Now I understand that the addict's actions and sometimes craziness is not them. It's the addiction. They are controlled by it. The drive to have it causes them to act in ways outside their normal character. They will lie (big time!), cheat, steal and use people to get that drug or alcohol. 

Now my addictions to soda and sugary treats didn't and doesn't drive me to the extremes I mentioned above, but when a craving hits I definitely need a "fix" to satisfy the craving. When I do not satisfy the craving, I can have withdrawal symptoms such as headache (most common for me), dizziness, and mood swings (I get crabby!). I definitely get that "feel good" feeling when I get my fix so I can only imagine how hard it must be on a drug addict or alcoholic. By the way, addictions come in many forms and just because yours isn't illegal or as harmful, doesn't mean you don't probably have the same type of withdrawals! Let someone take away your cigarette, coffee, smart phone, gaming device, or hobby and see how well you do! I believe God used my soda and sugar addictions to open my heart so I would have more compassion and understanding for the addict in general.

Addiction happens for different reasons and is often multifaceted. Often it begins with prescription pain killers after an injury or surgery. The reasoning behind why some folks can just use them sensibly and others become addicted is another blog post for another day. With young people (& quite frankly, even adults) it can start as a result of peer pressure. Often times it only takes one time of use with certain items to become completely addicted. This peer pressure is where the multifaceted comes in. Often, addiction happens as a result of trying to fill a void. People are trying to fill an emptiness. They want to feel accepted for who they are or they want to numb the pain of feeling worthless that is perceived in their own minds or has been portrayed to them from others in their lives. Again, this is a topic that needs a deeper dig and isn't the point of this post so I will not do that deeper dive right now. 

Addicts are more than their addiction. They are people loved by family and friends who are devastated by the addict's self-destructive patterns. They are also souls loved by God who sent Jesus to die for their sins so they could have a relationship with Him. Just like the person who is NOT an addict! When I see who God is. I realize what I am. His holiness reminds me that He had to reach just as far down to save me as He does the addict, robber, rapist and murderer. 

I chose the graphic today to remind us to keep a Christian attitude when it comes to dealing with addicts. Keep that attitude when dealing with everyone because we are all flawed and we all have baggage. Some people just have bigger suitcases than others! Yep, they are more than just an addict. They are loved by someone and loved by God. He wants all to come to repentance and be saved! 

Influence Can Make or Break

 

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My husband and I have long believed and taught through out our ministry life that we must guard ourselves and our children from bad or wrong influences. What one person can withstand and not be effected by can devastate the next person. Many times we are warned in the bible about guarding against wrong and evil influences. 

Proverbs 1:10-16 - My son, if sinners entice thee, consent thou not. If they say, come with us, let us lay wait for blood, let us lurk privily for the innocent without cause: Let us swallow them up alive as the grave; and whole, as those that go down into the pit: We shall find all precious substance, we shall fill our houses with spoil: Cast in thy lot among us; let us all have one purse: My son, walk not thou in the way with them; refrain thy foot from their path: For their feet run to evil, and make haste to shed blood.

Proverbs 4:14-15 - Enter not into the path of the wicked, and go not in the way of evil men. Avoid it, pass not by it, turn from it, and pass away.

Proverbs 22:24-25 - Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go; Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul.

1 Cor. 5:9-11 - I wrote unto you in an epistle not to company with fornicators: Yet not altogether with the fornicators of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or with idolaters; for then must ye needs go out of the world. But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one, no, not to eat. 

2 Thess. 3:14 - And if any man obey not our word by this epistle, note that man, and have no company with him, that he may be ashamed.

Let's face it, many adults cannot withstand peer pressure. Why would we expect kids to be able to withstand?  Examples of adults not standing against peer pressure are the January 6th protests getting out of hand and leading to much worse things than what was first intended. Many who have been brought to trial used the excuse that they got caught up in the moment. All the protests and riots since the George Floyd incident are more proof of getting caught up in the chaos. Even in the bible the priests and Pharisees stir up the people to crucify Jesus. Many of those same people had only recently laid down palm branches and cried "Hosanna" as Jesus rode into Jerusalem. 

I have watched as certain influences allowed have caused harm or destroyed one child in a family yet had no effect on the other children. I have also watched teenagers be good influences on their parents and an entire church, actually. When my husband was a youth pastor, the teens we worked with became big soul winners and it fired up the whole church to invite and tell people about Christ. We had a constant flow of visitors at the church. Many parents made changes at home in music and faithfulness to church all because their teens were doing right! 

Following right example is also talked about in the bible. Paul tells the church in 2 Thessalonians 3:7-9 - For yourselves know how ye ought to follow us: for we behaved not ourselves disorderly among you; Neither did we eat any man's bread for nought; but wrought with labor and travail night and day, that we might not be chargeable to any of you: Not because we have not power, but to make ourselves an example unto you  follow us. 

Hebrews 13:7 - Remember them which have the rule over you, who have spoken unto you the word of God: whose faith follow, considering the end of their conversation. 

3 John 11 - Beloved, follow not that which is evil, but that which is good. He that doeth good is of God: but he that doeth evil hath not seen God.

If I could just ask that everyone reading this consider seriously what influences you allow for yourself and your children because as my title says, influence can make or break. 

I hope this post makes you think.

The Keeping of Our Parents

 

Each of us begins life with a parent or parents to take care of us. They generally make sure we are fed, clothed, bathe regularly and have a good place to sleep. 

I find it fascinating that God's plan was for things to reverse as we age. We begin life drooling and end it the same way if we live long enough! As our parents age we are suddenly the caregivers. It's now our job to make sure they eat, get dressed, bathe and have somewhere to get rest. 

Let's throw in some dementia and the scenario changes moment by moment. Now the care takes great patience as you are often dealing with a 150 lb or more toddler who can throw a tantrum as well as any 2 yr old. (As any one of us can from time to time!) The difference is that 150 pounder is too big to manhandle and put to bed for a nap! They ask even more questions than the toddler and are often frustrated by your answers. Confusion over where they are and who they and everyone else is can be an ongoing battle. Which can again lead to more angry outbursts. 

The mind is such a complex thing! One minute they can spout out their spouse's social security number but 30 seconds later cannot tell you when or where they were married. It's sad. As a matter of fact Dementia is a cruel illness that destroys dignity! 

They often become the poster child for ADHD and cannot sit still for more than 5 minutes as they pace the floor, open and close cabinets, move objects from place to place and turn fans and lights off and on. You think to yourself "My 2 yr old grandson is less active"! Then your heart breaks as you watch this unfold before your eyes over and over in any given day. 

All you want is for them to be who they were all your life. Yet, roles are reversed and you are now provider, protector and caregiver. Yes! Much patience and endurance is needed! The bible says in Proverbs 23:22 - Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old. Making good and right choices isn't easy as you decide what is best for them. 

The Knowing of Hard Things

 

There are some occupations that require those involved in them to basically keep secrets. They are to tuck away the hard things and are not allowed to discuss those things with anyone else. My sister is an ER nurse and recently she sent a group text to me and our other sister to pray for a serious situation. She shared no pertinent details such as names or even gender but just a few general facts to allow us to know how to pray for the person and for her also as it was difficult for her mentally. It dawned on me after I prayed that it must be so hard to see patients come in with very serious injury or illness and understand how dire things are and still be professional and give comfort and aid to the patient and the family members. I'm grateful that when she is overwhelmed in a situation that her first reaction is to contact us so that she can draw from the One who can help most through our prayers. 

Doctors and all in the medical field, police officers, social workers, and those in ministry must keep their knowledge confidential. This knowing of hard things can at times be difficult to bear alone. 

Being a burden bearer can be lonely and if you are not careful you can allow the knowledge to overwhelm you and depression can sink in. Being a former pastor's wife allowed me to understand all of this in an up close and personal way. My husband knew more things than I did, though we more often than not, did counseling together. Still, his burdens were much greater. Knowing all about everyone's trials is one of the downsides to ministry life. Being upbeat and positive and smiling as you carry the burdens of so many others can wear on a person. It takes the grace of God to bring peace in the midst of the knowledge. 

I have known firefighters and first responders who have nightmares because of the gruesomeness they have witnessed. For them, I think it is not so much that they can't share what they witness if they leave out names it's more that most people don't want to hear gory details of the things they see. It's too much for the average person without training so they get to know those hard things with only their co-workers. It's probably what helps them bond as a unit. Very much like those who fight together in a war. 

Anyhoo, just a shout out to those who must know the hard things and keep it to themselves. And remember this the next time someone with a tough job seems detached or aloof because they are just needing some time to process through and compose themselves so that they don't expose too much about the situation. 

God's Favor is Two-Fold

 

I have heard preachers say for years that we can't earn God's favor and that His love is unconditional. Something struck me on my drive home from church last night as I listened to a Christian music cd. When it comes to salvation the above is true. However, to please Him and to receive His blessings; we ABSOLUTELY earn, often times. 

Earthly parents give and withhold blessings and gifts and favors to their children based on their behavior. So, why wouldn't God, the ultimate Father? Besides, over and over in scripture we are told that He does so!

In no particular order...

Psalm 84:11 - For the LORD God is a sun and shield: the LORD will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly.  (from them that walk uprightly...those that do right!)

1 John 3:22 - And whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight.

Jeremiah 7:23 - But this thing commanded I them, saying, Obey my voice, and I will be your God, and ye shall be my people: and walk ye in all the ways that I have commanded you, that it may be well unto you.

1 Peter 3:9 - Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing. (don't retaliate so you can receive a blessing)

Psalm 3:3-4 - Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart:

So shalt thou find favour and good understanding in the sight of God and man.

Hebrews 13:16 - But to do good and to communicate forget not: for with such sacrifices God is well pleased. 

Proverbs 16:7 - When a man's ways please the LORD, he maketh even his enemies to be at peace with him.

Hebrews 11:5 - By faith Enoch was translated that he should not see death; and was not found, because God had translated him: for before his translation he had this testimony, that he pleased God. 

Ephesians 6:2 - Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;)

Colossians 3:20 - Children obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. 

Exodus 20:12 - Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

Psalm 37:4 - Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

Proverbs 11:20 - They that are of a froward heart are abomination to the LORD: but such as are upright in their way are his delight.

Hebrews 12:28-29 - Wherefore we receiving a kingdom which cannot be moved, let us have grace, whereby we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear:

For our God is a consuming fire. (serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear...not any old way we choose!)

Ephesians 5:1-11 - Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children;

And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet smelling savour.

But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints;

Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks.

For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.

Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience.

Be not ye therefore partakers with them. 

For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light:

(For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth;)

Proving what is acceptable unto the Lord.

And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them.

Proverbs 3:11-12 - My son, despise not the chastening of the LORD; neither be weary of his correction:

For whom the LORD loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth. 

Revelation 3:19 - As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.

So God's favor is indeed two-fold! We cannot do anything to earn salvation. It's free! Ephesians 2:8-9 - For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:

Not of works, lest any man should boast.

Grace is unmerited favor....getting something we absolutely do not deserve. But God sent Jesus to pay for our sins. We cannot do good deeds, go to church, read our bibles or give money to earn our salvation. We just have to accept the gift God gave. We have to trust what Jesus did on the cross and ONLY that.

However, we CAN earn His favor, His pleasure, His delight, His blessings or His chastisement by our conduct. Personally, I want to please Him. I want to avoid chastisement as much as possible. Of course I understand that not all trials that happen are due to sin and sometimes it's just because God is allowing them to mold, shape and strengthen us but I desire to please Him and walk in His ways as much as I can muster. Don't you? Just some thoughts to consider.

 

Invite God to Your Marriage

 

Hello you few regular readers! I apologize for being absent for so long. I really do try to get at least one post a month in on this blog but lately life has been a blur. Quite frankly, I've been just worn out. My mind has had trouble focusing and gathering thoughts into anything coherent. I jot down ideas in my notebook but don't always have a chance to develop them into a good post. Anyhoo, today I want to encourage every wife and soon to be wife out there to invite God right into the center of your marriage.

You may think that you are a bible believing Christian and therefore this is just a given. However, it is not! We must make a conscious effort to put God in His rightful place within our marriage. Because we are human and because our husbands are physically here in front of us, we can make him the center of our lives. We can get so busy doing around the house and for our husband and for the kids that we put God on the backburner or give Him the leftover time we feel we can spare. This is not the best way to have a personal and close walk with the Lord.

How do we invite God to our marriage? Well, let's see....literally invite Him. Ask Him to be right there in the center of the relationship. I think it should be a part of every Christian's wedding vows! Ask Him to guide and direct daily. Ask Him to help you each to forgive when the other messes up and causes hurt. Ask Him to help you overlook the annoying flaws and irritating habits that drive you bonkers some days. So, I reckon the first way is to pray. Ask for His help. Ask Him to be a part. I think this should be done together as a couple but if one spouse isn't willing the other can certainly pray on behalf of the marriage relationship. 

#2 - Read and study the bible together. You will grow closer to one another and closer to God when you grow together in His Word. This is a guarantee! I have proven this over the past 20 years. We are talking about marriage here but I might include that as your children grow old enough to read and understand, it will go far for your family to read and study together and invites God into the whole family unit. This will also help your children to understand why you take the stands against the world that you do and help them to make decisions based on the Word of God instead of peer pressure. It will ground them in their faith beyond what you can imagine. 

#3 - Get involved in ministries at the church and in your community together. Working together in a common goal serving, unites hearts to one another and to God. It also builds eternal rewards in heaven which will lead to hearing "Well done thou good and faithful servant" someday.

#4 - Pray together for others. When you know of someone who is in need, of course you can pray alone but as a couple it can be even more powerful. Jesus said "where two or three are gathered in my name, there I am in the midst". Also, as you take turns praying over the person or persons in need, one may remember a detail to add that the other hadn't thought of but is an important detail to include. For example one may pray for the immediate need of healing in a situation while the other may remember to pray for peace as the person goes through it or for the doctors and nurses involved. Get what I mean? 

I hope this post has been an encouragement and made you think. Invite God to Your Marriage, especially if you never have or if you have drifted from the idea.

Church Should Be A Refuge

 

I have always said that my church should be my refuge, my safe haven so to speak. It should be just like a family home. It should be a place to shut out the world of evil and wickedness and be able to rest. However, in many churches that is not the case. I have been in churches in the past where I was attacked and evil spoken of when what was being said wasn't true. I have had times where I was excluded from the "group" and not been invited along to a lunch or a shopping spree or a game night. The older I get, the less these things bother me but when I was younger, it hurt deeply. 

I expect to go into the world, at the grocery store or gas station or other place of business and possibly be treated poorly. I should NOT have to endure that in my refuge! Nor should anyone else! No one should get so nervous walking into their home church that they are sick to their stomach or have shaky hands because they are uncertain about how they will be treated. They shouldn't have to worry if they will be excluded or included in conversations or befriended by others. Personally, I think it's a shame that anyone would have to endure that at their place of work or an organization  for which they volunteer but how much worse for them to experience that at their safe haven of a church?! 

I realize that not all people will click in personality but all should still be kind, friendly, and included. Really! How hard is it to be kind and friendly or at least civil?! Too many people do not know how to have correct relationships with others. They do not know how to be inclusive or to even show interest in another's life and what's happening with them. They only seem to care about self. Self is what is so wrong with this world! 

We can do better as church families. Don't start a conversation with someone or ask them a question and then walk away before they can answer as though you really weren't interested but was just being cordial. I want to go on record as saying that I am not personally experiencing anything I have voiced but I have observed it happening to others over the past several months and even couple of years. I try to make a point to speak to the person that I feel was inappropriately treated. I am not perfect at that but it is something I strive for. I think we sometimes are careless with the feelings of others who very well may be at a breaking point and carrying a burden that no one is aware they have or feels like they do not matter. JUST BE KIND! Church should be a refuge!