Expect Much

I've learned over the years that when you don't expect much from young people or even older people, that's pretty much what you'll get. When you don't allow a child to try a task because you think they are too young or too small, you create in them a fear of trying. The same goes for their behavior. When you coddle them and baby them and continually allow them to be silly all the time without expecting them to conduct themselves correctly all the while saying, "They are just a child" or "They are only 2 or 3 or whatever age they are" you are allowing them NOT to learn to act correctly. While we cannot be rigid and demanding to the point of discouragement, while teaching them to do a chore to the best of their ability or to sit still and quiet during appropriate times; we must still teach them! They will not be able to make their bed at 3 or 4 as well as a 10 or 12 year old, but that doesn't mean they shouldn't have to do it or try their best. 

When Bob and I worked with the youth department at church, I was pretty rough on those teens. I expected a lot of them. I expected them to pay attention during the preaching and teaching sessions. I expected them to act appropriately and maturely in public places. I didn't expect perfection. I allowed for fun and laughter and even the occasional mess up but I did not allow disrespect of authority or ignoring of the preaching or inattentiveness. I used to constantly tell them that I wasn't their parent and I didn't care what happened in their home but they were on my turf now and I loved them enough to make them mind. They knew I meant it! I constantly reminded them of God's love and forgiveness even when they messed up but never let them off the hook for the mess up nor did I let them off the hook of my disappointment in their conduct. 

I am perfectly aware that the concept of expecting much can swing too far and that people push it to the point of setting young people up for failure or feelings of failure because they just can't live up to the expectations. Expectations MUST BE realistic but don't count out the 4 year old being able to tie their shoe or open their own bag of chips or put their own straw in a juice box. By the same token don't say that it's impossible for a 4 or 5 year old to sit quiet through a church service. They will sit through a movie. They just need to be taught! -- Taught to sit, taught to hush and taught to pay attention by telling them to look at the preacher. If you refuse to listen when they try to talk and just tell them to ssh and look at the preacher they will get the message. If you don't engage in conversation with them by asking what they want then you can nip the talking in the bud. 
Don't assume a teen can't get good grades. Encourage them to study and help them figure out how they best learn so that you can help them to study. Not all kids will be straight A students but neither should you write them off as not very smart and allow them not to try to get the best grades they are capable of achieving. 

Often times I have watched parents with young adult and even older adult children still living at home and allowing them to just pretty much sponge off the parents. Then you look back through their family history and find that the child has ended up that way because they were never pushed at all. The parent never expected much of them and the child lived up to that expectation. While we are on adult children living with parents, I don't get those who allow them to live under their roof and do things contrary to what would have been allowed before age 18 or contrary to the Word of God just because they are now adults and the parent thinks they don't have a say. I say that is wrong thinking! It's YOUR house! They live with you! You have a right to set rules in your house or they don't have to live with you. They are free to go elsewhere. No child, adult or not, will live in my home, not go to church, not pursue work, smoke, drink or sleep with their boyfriend or girlfriend on my property...period! The work issue would be waved if there were a medical reason or something like that.  (That last part was free...just a rant!)

I hope I have ranted enough and explained enough for everyone to get the point. Stop saying "oh they can't or oh they are too small, young or dumb to do that". Many little ones have told me that they can't do something and they need my help even before they ever tried. I make them try. When you expect your teen to be irresponsible, they are much more likely to be irresponsible. Force them to be responsible. Hold them accountable for their actions. The two best things you can do raising your children is teach them to know and love the Lord and to be responsible for their actions. 

The Tall Order For Christians

This passage was in my reading a couple days ago and the first 10 verses just jumped out at me. Paul has quite a tall order for the believers he is writing to at Corinth. Paul begs (beseeches) them not to receive the grace of God in vain. That means empty. In other words, don't be nonchalant or flippant or apathetic towards the grace you have been given. He reminds them that God says He heard them in their day of salvation and (succoured) helped or relieved them. 

Paul then goes on to give some commands. He tells them (and us!) to not give offence in anything, so that the ministry could not be blamed. In other words, so that no one can say they don't want to be a Christian because you are not conducting yourself correctly! --- This would be the case for my dear father-in-law. He sees no need to get saved because he has seen too many so called Christians lie, steal and cheat their way through life and he feels no need for salvation when he does right by others and many Christians have done him or family members wrong.

It may seem a tall order but it is none the less given as command in 2 Corinthians chapter 6. Paul goes on to say that we must approve ourselves as ministers of God (not just for preachers but all those who name the name of Christ are ministers of the gospel) and that we must be patient in afflictions, necessities, distresses, beatings (stripes), imprisonment, tumults (chaos or disorder), labours (pain or weariness), watchings (sleeplessness), and fastings (lack of food). Not only are we to be patient but we are to also do all this in pureness (blamelessness), by knowledge, longsuffering (patiently enduring with a good attitude), by kindness, by the Holy Ghost, by love unfeigned (sincere affection), by the word of truth, by the power of God, and by the armour of righteousness. 

Verse 8 is a bit confusing for it says by honour and dishonour, by evil report and good report: as deceivers, and yet true; -- I think in simplest terms this just means in every way you should be putting forth for the ministry of God as a Christian no matter what others are saying about you. 

Verse 9 says as unknown, and yet well known: as dying, and, behold we live; as chastened, and not killed; -- Some don't know us yet others know us well, and even if we die we will live forever in heaven, some will chasten us but we are not killed just because we are chastened.

Verse 10 says as sorrowful, yet alway rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich: as having nothing, and yet possessing all things. -- even when we are saddened by the world we can rejoice in our Christianity and grace of God, even though we may be poor we can make others spiritually rich by telling them of the love and saving grace of Jesus, and though we may have few or no possessions on earth we are the child of our Heavenly Father who owns the cattle on a thousand hills, and everything else! 

To conduct ourselves in the manner that Paul tells us to in this passage, is indeed quite a tall order but that doesn't mean we shouldn't strive to live it daily! We will fail at times but that's what the grace of God is for! When we ask forgiveness, He gives it! He removes our sins as far as the east is from the west and buries them in the depths of the sea never to be remembered again! WooHoo! Praise God! 

Guilty of Addiction!

I confess! I have an addiction. Most people do! Any "bad" habit you have that you can't seem to stop yourself from doing is an addiction. Not all addictions are illegal. In fact, more are legal than illegal! I'm sitting here currently trying to think of only the addictions that are illegal and guess what I'm only able to come up with a couple of them. Drugs, child pornography, and prostitution. Smoking, drinking, gambling, adult pornography, body piercing, tattoos, (I have had people admit to me that piercings & tatts are addictive) and video games are all legal addictions. What about other addictions? How about food, shopping, nail biting, chocolate, candy, sweets, and the dreaded soda pop? 

Many of the above cause withdrawals. Some withdrawal symptoms can be headache, shakes, sweats, elevated heart rate, yearning for the item, and the need to pace back and forth all the while thinking of the thing you want to do or taste. Then you give in and do or have the desire. Satisfaction! The high that takes you away from reality, the sugar rush from sweets or just the taste buds being satisfied, the playing of one more game to try to win, or the great purchase at the store. The NEED has been met but at what cost?  

For me, it's the bubbles from a cola (especially RC or Pepsi) as it hits the back of my throat! I love the feeling...especially first thing in the morning on a dry thirsty throat! It brings happiness to my soul... as it brings destruction to my body. Most addictions bring some sort of destruction -- eventually. 

God has used this addiction to teach me, humble me and help me better understand others. I admit that I used to look down on or allow myself to feel a twinge of superiority over someone who has drug or other serious addictions. I work hard these days at keeping that in check. My soda addiction is not nearly as tough to beat and yet here I am still sucking it down on a regular basis. It comforts me. It is really the only "comfort" food I have. It is my go to when I miss my mom (which is still often) and when I am upset or having a tough day. 

So, while I don't fully understand getting started on some of the horrible addictions out there, I understand addiction much better than I used to. When the addict continues to go back and go back and makes awful choices to have the addiction, I do understand it's not really them acting as much as the addiction driving them. This is not an excuse for their actions but it is a way to hate the sin of addiction and not the addict. They need help in quitting. They need help making the appropriate changes. Sometimes it may mean that it's time for tough love and not enabling them to continue. Often times, if they are not enabled by friends and loved ones, they wake up much faster to the fact they need to stop. 

You may ask how someone is enabled. They are enabled by someone helping provide the addiction. They are enabled by covering up and making excuses for their behavior. They are enabled by someone baling them out with money. When they waste their own money on the addiction and can't pay bills or purchase necessities such as food and utilities but someone always helps them with those daily supplies; they have no reason to make better choices. This is enabling them to continue in the addiction and not get help to stop!

Just a reminder that most of us have an addiction in our lives. Let's not get our halo crooked by thinking we are better just because our addiction won't necessarily land us in jail. Work on yourself and help others when you can by helping them quit! Don't enable them to continue because that's not help! 

Ignoring God's Word Has A Cost

We went to a Bible & KJV Heritage Conference the past two nights. The preacher made this statement "There's a price tag for ignoring God's Words". There may not be many truer statements! 

I want to look at some things that it may cost you. It may cost...

1. God's blessings - It is clear in Scripture that obedience to God brings blessings on your life. .  Ps. 25:10 says All the paths of the LORD are mercy and truth unto such as keep his covenant and his testimonies. Ps. 106:3, Ps. 119:2, Ps. 5:12, Ps. 115:13, Ps, Prov. 8:32, Luke 11:28, John 14:23, John 15:10

2. Falling into sin - Ps. 119:11 tells us that hiding God's Word in our hearts will  help us not to sin against God, James 4:7 tells us that if we will submit ourselves to God and resist the devil then the devil will flee from us

3. Closeness with God - Prov. 15:29 - The LORD is far from the wicked: but he heareth the prayer of the righteous. Ps. 66:18 - If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear. 

4. Testimony - When others see that you are living your life not by God's Word but are continually falling into sin, they do not want to hear what you have to say about church, the Bible, or God and Christ. Over and over in the Bible, especially the New Testament, we are given examples of people who have a good report among those around them and therefore the people respected and listened to them.

The Bible, God's Word, was given to us as a manual, a way to learn more about God and His expectations, and as a way to draw closer to Him. When you ignore it, you pay a price! 

Just something to think about. Do you want to pay the heavy price for ignoring God's Word?

Ministry Means Flexibility!

I want to talk today about what it's like to be in full time ministry. What best describes ministry life is flexibility. You cannot be rigid in schedules or you will quickly be overwhelmed and frustrated. Yes, you can have a plan or schedule but you must remember that the plan or schedule can change at any given moment. Why? Because life is unpredictable. While you may plan on going to the church to clean, set up for a dinner, decorate for the season or create a bulletin or prayer list; a phone call may alter that plan and you may now have to make a hospital visit or go and counsel with someone in distress. That's just the way it is. Being available is what ministry life is all about! To be available you MUST be willing to change your plans in order to accommodate others. 

It also means that you may have to multi-task many times a day in order to keep up with what needs done on time. Sometimes, this can get overwhelming. Learning to prioritize the necessities over the wantities helps. For instance, I want to put up new sayings on the church sign today but a member had surgery in Oklahoma City yesterday, and we need to go check on her and pray and encourage her. The current saying can stay up another day. Get it? 

Of course, it's not just ministry life that needs flexibility. In fact, it should be a part of every one's life. I always say --- Make your plans in pencil and give God the eraser!

In most ministry life, however, there's not really a choice. In life, you must be flexible! If you are considering full time ministry, please remember this. Are you willing to become a flexible being? It really is a must to have peace of mind. 

Comparison is a Thief!

I heard this quote today on the radio during an interview... Comparison is a thief of joy. It hit me like a ton of bricks! How true a statement! We as people, and especially women, spend much time comparing. We compare our looks, our weight, our marriages, our finances, our children, our vehicles, homes and vacations...our lives in general! 

Comparing is not a good thing! When we compare, we become discontent with ourselves and our lives. Like the box above implies, what we are comparing ourselves to may have taken someone else years or tons of work to obtain. We also have no idea what they may have went through to become who they are or what they have accomplished. A marriage in the first year or two is much different than the one 30 years later that has been tested, tried and endured the give and take and much forgiving of the other's faults to remain in tact. 

Essentially, living in comparison mode, makes you constantly think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence (often it's greener because of the septic drain!) and creates unhappiness with self. Instead, remember the above box and that God loved you enough to send His Son, Jesus to die on a cross for you! Jesus loved you enough to do it! Remember that in Psalms 139:14 it says I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made:... So take heart and be content, make changes where you can and accept what cannot be changed so that you may have joy within.

Learning About Food Allergies & Sensitivities

A little over two months ago, I did a food allergy/sensitivity test. Actually, back in Nov. of 2017 I did an Ige food allergy test. It tested for 26 foods. Only one thing came back positive and apparently was a false positive because when eating tomatoes I have never had any reaction and in my second testing it was negative though on the verge of a mild sensitivity. Ige allergy testing is a blood test that checks for immediate reactions to certain foods or other substances like seasonal allergies or pet dander, etc. That's what allergy generally refers to; an immediate reaction or reaction within a short time frame. Breaking out from exposure to poison ivy is an Ige reaction. Watery eyes from cats or dogs is another. Stomach pain, diarrhea, swelling or rash is also common if you are allergic to certain foods, such as seafood. These are all Ige reactions. Anaphylactic shock is the most severe Ige reaction.

Igg blood testing is a test that checks reactions over a period of 3-5 days. These would not be allergic reactions but sensitivity or intolerance reactions. Symptoms of intolerance or sensitivity to a food might include sinus drainage, excess gas and bloating, brain fog, low energy, stomach pain, constipation &/or diarrhea, arthritis, insomnia, hyperactivity, aggressiveness & disobedience in children or a host of other symptoms. Igg testing usually covers many more foods, spices & additives than Ige tests check. 

I tested positive for several things out of 96. These tests results range from a 1 to 3 in severity. 1 being mild to 3 being strong. For me eggs were my worst sensitivity. Egg whites being a 3 and egg yolks being a 2! Cow's milk was a 2 along with cheddar cheese & mozzarella cheese. However, cottage cheese & yogurt were only a 1! It's all about the processing! The only other 2 was for oats.  My doctor explained that over exposure to any food or any substance really, has the potential to cause an allergy or sensitivity to develop. This is what I believe happened to me for the most part. In trying to steer clear of gluten (which I don't have even a sensitivity to by the way) I was using oats and oat flour to substitute. I also ate eggs often. My normal breakfast routine for quite some time had been a soft boiled egg and a 1/2 cup of vanilla yogurt or a cup of oatmeal. All three of these showed up in sensitivity! I also enjoy having breakfast type foods for supper which means eggs more often. Also, many, many, many foods have eggs as an ingredient...from baked goods to mayonnaise! The foods that showed up as a sensitivity-1 for me are...asparagus, broccoli, cabbage, cauliflower, kale, green olives, almonds, chia seed, banana, watermelon, malt, black pepper, oregano, & tarragon. Dr. said he had only had two other people ever test positive for black pepper. I currently use white pepper! However, hard to completely prevent using due to restaurants or eating at friends and family. This just goes to show that it matters not at all how healthy a food is supposed to statistically be if you are intolerant to it! 

In my heavy research of food sensitivity, I discovered that most often sensitivities begin because of leaky gut or poor gut health. Nearly every autoimmune disorder can be cleared up completely or made better by fixing the digestive system! One thing that leads to leaky gut is Vitamin D deficiency, along with poor thyroid function and low liver function (low liver function may lead to the vitamin D problem!). All of these go hand in hand. In fact, the gut is the second brain of the body. If it isn't working correctly, the other systems will not work correctly either. BTW, I do not believe the Vitamin D deficiency problem in this country is from lack of milk but lack of sunshine! People spend way more time indoors than out than they did 30 years ago. Technology means more sitting around playing on a computer, gaming system, phone or just watching tv than a generation ago participated in. 

I am working on a theory and will let you know the outcome as I gain more knowledge about this. I tested sensitive-1 for several vegetables. Most of these vegetables are the "gassy" veggies. When you have a thyroid problem, you are not to eat those veggies raw at all or often even cooked. As regular readers of this blog know, I was diagnosed with Hashimotos thyroid disorder last November. I just wonder if I tested positive for those vegetables because I have a thyroid issue. In another month I will retest for the thyroid antibodies to see if we've made any headway on correcting the Hashimotos. I will report any findings. I had already made headway in this area just by starting vitamin D. Now that I am on a natural thyroid supplement, I hope to completely rid myself of the disorder. 

Now, to report on quitting harmful foods to my body. Cravings were not hardly an issue at all which totally surprised me. I really do enjoy eggs! Dr. was hoping it would eliminate my joint pain completely but has not so far...but it IS better! The best part of it is that I most definitely have more energy on a regular basis and just feel better overall. I was really struggling for some time with energy crashing between 1-2:30 almost every day. That isn't an issue anymore unless I've really been active working on a something or didn't get a good nights sleep. I seem to be sleeping better, too! Now if only I could get the pain and tingling to stop in my neck, shoulder and arm from the bulging c5&6 I might feel like a new woman! I also would love to stop gaining weight even when I watch what I eat. 

I know this was a very long post but I wanted to give an up date on my health and hope to help others in theirs! Do not be so quick to poo poo the idea of food allergies and sensitivities. I believe with all my heart it is MUCH more common than people realize!