Learning to Lay Down FOR the "With Mes"

A few months ago I attended a ladies retreat and one of the messages has inspired this post. The speaker told a story of a man who was dying of cancer and on hospice. His sister had moved in to care for him. She thought that she was doing everything just right. She tended to his every need with scheduled meds, meals, laundry, house cleaning, bathing and dressing. However, one day he was having a particularly alert day and as the sister approached his bed to check on him, he grabbed her arm and said "lay down with me". She resisted at first but the man pained himself to move over in the bed and so she climbed into the bed and put her arm under his neck and around his shoulders. He pressed against her and cried and then smiled and drifted off to sleep. 

The sister quickly realized that while she was busy tending to her brother's daily needs she had neglected his most important need. Just being present with him and hugging him. Touch is such a very important part of love and life. It's why now when babies are born they are instantly placed on mom's chest, skin to skin, for the bonding moments. 

We tend to do that, don't we? We think that being busy doing for people is exactly the same as spending time with them. While it may be a showing of love because after all labor is that; it is not the same as conversation, touch and just being present for them. Sometimes what is needed most is your presence. Just being there, up close and personal. 

Many parents are so busy climbing the corporate ladder that they do not ever spend any time with their children. They are allowing other people to raise their kids. They miss important activities the kids are involved in doing such as sports, plays, birthday parties, graduations, etc.  

Many people wait until someone is about to die before they bother to spend any time with the loved one. They may only live a couple miles away but still rarely see them. Btw, if someone you love is on hospice, one of the best things you can do for them is allow them to talk. Let them talk about anything and everything they desire. If they want to talk about olden days, let them. If they want to talk about their funeral arrangements, let them. If they want to talk about their fears, let them! Just be a good listener. It's important to them and for them! 

Be the person who frees their time to let them talk to you. 

In order to be there for the "with mes", we must lay down the busy daily tasks that in the grand scheme of things, absolutely do not matter! Don't believe me? Ask the person who is coming to the end of their life if it matters if the floors are sparkling clean or if the hours worked to make money was worth missing out on life events. Ask the child who is sad and hurt because mom, dad, grandparent or someone else they love wasn't at their Christmas play or track race or football game or baseball game. Memories are much more important than money and toys. 

This final pic should be a daily prayer. Not just the removal of burdens in our minds but also to remove the barren busyness that consumes our lives and gets in the way of the really important stuff. Our church has had 4 funerals directly related to our congregation this year. Three of them have been since September! We only have a congregation of about 30 people and many are related so each funeral hits very hard. We have two more coming pretty quickly, possibly before the end of the year and it's the first week of December. I can allow myself to get sidetracked doing daily life tasks or I can choose to be there for those who are hurting. I will fight to do the latter. 

Voting No Confidence

"A vote of no confidence" is a phrase used to explain when a group decides that a leader is no longer capable of performing their duties and the group casts a vote to remove them from office. It's basically a political coup. This can also be done through the American voting system by voting out the previous leader when you are not satisfied with their performance and electing a new one. 

However, people often unknowingly or sometimes intentionally give a vote of no confidence by refusing to show up. Some voters refuse to show up to the voting places and cast their ballots because they don't like any of the candidates. They have no confidence in any of the choices. People don't show up for their court hearings because they have no confidence in the legal justice system. 

I recently watched a TV show in which a police commissioner was supposed to conduct a news conference with the mayor to show a unified front and the mayor didn't show up. The commissioner was upset and made the remark that it was a "vote of no confidence" in him. 

That statement made me think that it is the same with church attendance. When people lay out of church and church activities, it can relay a message to the pastor as a vote of no confidence. No confidence in his preaching and teaching, and no confidence in his vision, goals and direction of the church. Pastors all across the United States are discouraged and feeling defeated because there are a bunch of no shows week after week. Now maybe you may think that he should look inward to see if there is reason for a vote of no confidence. I don't know very many pastors who are so arrogant that they wouldn't look inward first. They question what they may be doing wrong. What they can do different or how they can better reach, disciple and motivate people. 

I believe the people of the USA have become so nonchalant in their Christianity that they think it's okay not to be faithful to church. They think it's okay to engage in pet sins and that God just winks at it since they have accepted God's gift of salvation. Church attendance is fit in whenever it's convenient and doesn't interfere with any other plans.  In other countries, where maybe the Bible is outlawed or not readily available, or it's illegal to be a Christian or go to church, the people will do whatever necessary to have God's written Word or hear it preached. Many put their lives on the line to do so. 

In some ways the USA is hindered because we have open access to the Bible and to church. It's so readily available that it's taken for granted. God's Word isn't precious to many. Being able to go to church and worship openly isn't precious to people. To many it's an obligation, a duty and even an inconvenience that is put up with. When you go to church like that, not expecting to be blessed and learn then you probably won't be blessed and won't grow. 

I hope if you are reading this post that you will consider it when you are thinking about skipping church. Dig deep and ask yourself why you are willing to skip. Is it because you don't have confidence in your pastor? If the answer is yes, then you should talk to him and see what can be changed or you can find a different church to attend. Either way, you should be in church to grow and learn and share the burdens of others. 

Home - What is it?

So, I want to delve into this "home" topic. Home means different things to different people. For me, it mostly means a refuge, a safe place where there is unconditional love and acceptance. It very much involves being where my husband is. It's a place to shut out the world and feel safe. However, for me home also includes not just where I currently reside here in Oklahoma but also Missouri (God's country!) where I was born and raised. Sometimes it means the house I grew up in or my grandparent's house and their camping lot on the river. See, it's an environment. It's the places where fond memories reside and love and fun are what sweeps through my mind when I think of them or return to them. 

I realize that for some people home means something much different. The thought of home is haunting and causes anxiety. For children who are abused, or left to care for themselves on a daily basis or that go hungry when at home, don't have a safe feeling about "home". For those children who have to move often because the parents keep getting evicted or whatever, home has no real meaning other than possibly a place to live or sleep. My husband and I have worked in the bus ministry at several churches over the years and have seen what some kids must deal with on a daily basis. When a child doesn't want to go home and asks if they can stay on the bus and be let off last or go home with us, it's a good signal that something isn't right at home. Those same kids have come to church with dark circles and hallowed eyes, uncombed hair and often have obviously not bathed in days because they smell. It would break our hearts. It's sad that some kids have no good feelings of home. When they become adults they have no good memories of love and safety associated with what was home. 

I'm very grateful that my meaning of home brings good, warm, loving memories and a remembrance of safety. What does home mean for you? What kind of meaning of home are you helping your children to associate with? 

Just a little thought provoker.

Consideration is Out the Window

We live in an age where it seems consideration of others no longer exists. At least not on a regular basis. I guess it started in the 1980s and 90s with the so called "me generation". That's when I first remember hearing that term. It was all about me... what I want, what I need, what I think. This idea has exploded into what we see today in the "my rights" generation. "I got my rights!" Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news for those folks, but your rights stop where mine begin! And, therein lies the problem. It seems that the only rights that matter are to the ones screaming the loudest and holding the protests. It has become such an "entitled" world that every person walking thinks they have a right to whatever they want, whenever they want, no matter the law or another person's feelings.

People no longer think anymore. They don't stop and consider that their words and actions have consequences to other people. This happens with spouses, parent/children, siblings, friends, boss/employee relationships and even amongst church families. Everyone is too busy with their OWN lives, trials, and desires to consider the others in their lives.

Let me give some examples... 

spouses don't bother to call when they are going to be late, friends don't think to invite and include another friend, children don't check on parents because they are too busy, 

parents make family plans without asking what works for the children,

siblings want help or time spent but don't reciprocate 

bosses don't consider the time away from an employee's family when demanding overtime, 

employees don't care if they show up late for work putting stress on bosses and coworkers, 

church members don't check on one another when someone is sick or struggling. --

People in general are so wrapped up in themselves that they "don't think" about how to be a help or a blessing to someone else. I can't tell you how many times I've heard "Oh, I didn't think about it" when it comes to something about or at the church or about checking on someone who is struggling physically or mentally. I have been guilty at times myself because sometimes I have had my own struggles. But the problem is that usually it's more a matter of just not giving it any consideration rather than having their own struggles. It's a "Me" world! It's an "I want" world. This has lead to all consideration of others going right out the window! 

Kindness comes from being considerate of someone else! 

Just a little thought provoker. How are you doing? Are you considerate of others? 

When Faith Rises

Today I want to talk about what happens when faith is allowed to rise. Last week when I was making the four hour drive home from my daughter's house, I listened to the same song over and over again. --- My God is Big Enough. I took much comfort from the song and sang until my voice was gone. My family and my church family had all been through quite a lot the past few weeks and I just really needed the reminder of this song. 

It inspired the desire for this post. When we are facing dark times or scary times or uncertain times and when those around us are saying something can't be done. I know my God is big enough. It's at those moments that I allow faith to rise up within me by trusting in God's work and plan and timing that He is glorified the most. It's when I feel faith rising up that I gain strength from the Holy Spirit and from the truths of God's Word. It's at these moments when I can have peace in my soul when chaos ensues around me. Sometimes, the Lord doesn't calm the storm. Sometimes He calms me. Then I know and trust it's for my good and for His glory that it is happening. So allow faith to rise up!

The Darkest Hour is Just Before Dawn

I was listening the other day to a gospel bluegrass cd and the song came on with the same title as this post. I was singing along with the cd and a notion hit me. This is such a true statement! 

When we are going through a life trial or struggle and we feel overwhelmed and beaten up, it's often the moment right before the dawn of help arriving that seems the absolute darkest. We feel we can't take anymore. We feel if anything else happens we will break. We feel that there is no way out of the current situation and then - BOOM! - suddenly the little ray of light comes and the solution is there. 

It's at these moments that we remember and realize that God's timing is perfect even when we don't understand. The darkness and the overwhelming feelings have been given by Satan. God allows us to go through dark trials sometimes due to our own choices made in haste and without prayer or sometimes just as a way of molding and shaping and training us. Sometimes He is testing us to see what we will do. Sometimes all this is just to make us rely on Him. To make us look for His light and seek His face in prayer. Sometimes we need reminding that we're drifting too far from Him and becoming too self-reliant. Any number of reasons can account for the darkness. Yet, when you're about to give up and feel all hope is lost, suddenly the light breaks through. Once the moment of light comes, suddenly, things no longer seem so dark. Suddenly, you can see clearly the right path and move forward from being stuck in despair. 

Indeed the darkest hour is just before dawn. When the dawn breaks through a whole new outlook and future takes shape! 

Just a little thought that struck me recently.  

Why Jesus Ate With Sinners

This is a topic that is used often in the world to justify living in sin. We are going to take a look at the passage in Luke 15:1-7 of the parable of the lost sheep. 

First of all, I'd like to point out that the publicans and sinners came to Jesus.(verse 1) In the previous chapter Jesus had been teaching any and all followers. In the last verse of chapter 14 Jesus tells them that "He that hath ears to hear, let him hear. The publicans and sinners were interested in what He had to say. We often tend to spend most of our time with those who WANT to spend time with us. The parable is told because of the murmuring of the Pharisees. 

The second point I'd like to make is that Jesus never tells the Pharisees that they shouldn't judge the sinners or condemn them for the judgment of calling them sinners. Jesus knew they were sinners. By the way, the judgment condemned in the bible is that of judging as though you are better than the other person. Now, I'm aware that in other places of the bible the Pharisees are condemned for judging and it is in the respect of thinking they are better. Jesus tells the parable to say that He was spending time with them to "save" them. He came to seek and save the lost. 

No where in the passage does Jesus condone or make excuses for the sinners. He just lets the Pharisees know that the sinner is why He came. Saving the lost one that's gone astray is what causes joy in heaven. 

Jesus ate with sinners yes. It doesn't say He went into the places where the people were involved in their sin. It says He receiveth sinners. They came to Him! He received those who came to Him hungering for what He had to offer them...no matter who they were. 

Another purpose of the parable is to show the Pharisees their hypocrisy. He uses the same type of wording in another passage when the Pharisees say that there shouldn't be any work done on the Sabbath (when Jesus heals). He tells them that they would pull the ox out of the ditch. 

Please stop trying to justify your sin by saying that Jesus hung out with sinners. The Bible is very clear that we are to be IN the world but not of the world. It also says not to be worldly. It tells us to come out from among them(those that are worldly or involved in sin)and be separate. It tells us to have a good testimony before men so that they will listen when we tell them of Christ and God's love and so that we will glorify God. If you are doing the same exact things that those around you are doing, you will not have a good testimony before them!