Fences for Protection

 

I heard a preacher say recently that fences are to protect. We fence yards to keep young children and pets safe from the street. People live in gated, fenced communities for safety for those who live there from strangers that may cause harm. 

Prisons have fences to protect the public from convicted criminals. Without those fences the criminal would probably go right back out and keep committing crimes. 

Fences at the borders of countries are meant to protect the citizens from those who would enter to cause harm. It also helps to protect the sovereignty of that country and the rights of the citizens. Rights and privileges of a country belong solely to it's citizens! This topic has become very divisive in the USA since 2008 and used politically to reinforce the divide and to try to gain votes in my opinion. 

We also tend to put up fences around our hearts as protection. We do this to try to prevent hurt and protect our emotional and mental well being. There is definitely a time and place for this but it can also be detrimental. We can keep people at such arms length that we never have real and honest relationships. Finding the balance between what kind of fence and how high of one to build and leaving a gate open to allow some people in and close can be tricky. We should remember that we shouldn't make one person pay for the sins of hurting us that another person committed. 

Just something to think about.

Carving Out a Place

 

It seems that we spend our lives trying to carve out our own spot in the world. Even as children and teens, at the same time we're trying to find a group to connect and fit in with, we're also trying to find our own identity and way to stand out and be noticed for our special talents and abilities. Not sure if that's pride or what. I think more likely it's wanting to matter. Wanting to matter in this world as we make a way of life for ourselves and those we care about. So, we chisel and carve a little here and a little there as we forge ahead. 

Some are trying to carve a place in their career, and see just where they can excel. Others are trying to carve a place in their education. Especially in higher education as they hope for knowledge to better themselves. 

Young couples are doing their best to carve out a place in the world separate from their parents. To make their own choices and see where life takes them.

The past two years my husband and I have been trying to carve a new way of life different  than we lived for 18 years. We're trying to use knowledge and wisdom gained from that former carving and see where we can chisel ahead to a place in a new church with different roles. To find more and new ways to minister to people. It's not easy. 

Sometimes the chisel and even the pick ax seem too dull and heavy for the task. Sometimes the area you're trying to carve on seems like granite and you're never going to get through to the place you long for so desperately. Just keep carving. Some day you'll look around and realize you do have a place and the carving is beautiful even if there's flaws where the chisel slipped.  

Book Review - Just Open the Door

 

I promised some people I would give a review of this book by Jen Schmidt when I finished. First of all, I am not being paid for my review. The author doesn't know I am doing this. 

I really enjoyed the read! For years I have struggled with the thought and feeling that there HAD to be more to ministry than what happens in and around the church. After all, ministry at the core is about serving people. While that may include cleaning at the church or working in the nursery, it more appropriately should be about reaching out to others and mentoring them. It's about showing people the love, compassion, mercy and grace of Jesus. 

The premise of the book is to use hospitality as a way to reach out and mentor people. It drives home the point of simplicity and spontaneity. Don't wait for a perfect home or the perfect moment to invite others over. It doesn't have to be a grand affair that causes great stress. It reminds us to step out of the comfort zone and open the door even to someone new to us or different than us. 

It also pushes you to look deep at your motives when you want to have guests over and make it a big and perfect production. Is it pride? Is it wanting praise from others for your production? Or is it to genuinely reach others and show them love, care and compassion? I was convicted several times as I read! 

I confess that I wasn't always a submissive wife when we were in full time ministry. My husband would have liked to have people over every weekend or Sunday. I resisted this idea. Not, that we never had people over but I just had a hard time with doing it on a regular and constant basis. I felt like we gave so much of ourselves all week with the physical prep for church services and the visiting of members and potential members that I wanted our home to be a refuge and a place to shut out the world and allow us to veg out for awhile. (we were in a small church with little help with the day to day) I also felt exhausted and like I just wasn't up for the prep work on my house for company (I admit I am not the greatest housekeeper) or the cooking involved in extra mouths to feed. I love to cook but just felt overwhelmed by the idea of it all. 

This book helped me see it can be simple and that all people really want is an inviting, cozy, fun and comfortable atmosphere where they can engage in conversation and get to know one another better. Most people won't care if there are imperfections in the carpet or furniture or even a bit of dirt around. What they WILL care about is that you cared enough to invite them over and engaged in their life.

Jen Schmidt loads this book with personal stories that inspire your creative juices and practical ideas to help you get started opening the door both at home and even on the go. I have already been inspired and am looking forward to putting into practice the things she talked about and the ideas she has sparked within me. 

I highly recommend this book for inspiration and ideas to take on a new perspective in ministering to others. My husband got the book for me for Christmas. He ordered it on Christianbook.com. I hope you will get your own copy and get inspired! 

Commas & Periods in Life

 

A period in grammar is intended to show the end of a sentence or a statement or thought. A comma is a  pause between parts of a sentence. 

The above graphic shows a common saying that people use to encourage others. Essentially, what it means is that we should not make rash life decisions and possibly end certain areas of life when God may only intend for you to take a pause and regroup before continuing on. 

Discerning which God is bringing in our lives can be difficult. At times it may feel like a period. It may feel like the end and we may be ready to give up on a particular dream or idea or whatever. Later, we may realize that it was only a comma in life. It was just God saying "Pause and wait on me". God knows what we need and what is best. He may know we need a rest mentally or physically so He causes a delay. He knows when we need more training and aren't yet ready for what we desire or are pursuing. 

I know people who tried for years to have a child and had given up hope and placed a period for that part of life. Then all at once the woman became pregnant and then realized it was just a comma God had placed. I also know someone who made the decision to place a period on having anymore children. She had a tuba ligation. FIVE YEARS later God surprised her with another child and then another after that! 

Sometimes we place periods on careers. I know someone who had a degree and a prestigious type job and left it to do something completely unrelated. Several years later God made it so she couldn't continue in the new career path due to health problems. She went back to her original career only with added areas. It was really only a comma. As she is continuing that degree career she has also pursued a second one by opening a café. She also is selling honey and honey products after beginning beekeeping. I'd say she's a go-getter even though she still has the health issues. She has allowed God to place the periods and commas in her life. 

In 2020 we left full time ministry to minister to my in-laws. We are hoping this is only a comma in our lives. There is much we love about full time ministry and we are waiting to see how God moves. However, we know that right now ministry to family is most important. I also think that God is using this time to grow us. We've learned quite a bit over the past 2 1/2 years and I hope that means God will show us that it really was just a comma and pause from full time ministry.

As I said, it's not easy to tell which God is doing. Sometimes, often times, we don't know until hindsight but we should always make our decisions prayerfully and trust God and let Him do the placing of the periods and commas.

Learning From the Apostle Paul

 

I want to look at some take-aways from the life of Paul. Things we can learn. Of course we can read all the books of the Bible he wrote but I am not necessarily talking about what he taught. I want to look at Paul's life. His character and who he was.

Much of his life as a whole is covered in the book of Acts but we will look at other books, too. First of all, Paul didn't just preach the gospel. He wrote letters to different groups of people to teach and train them about how to live a Christian life. We should take a cue from Paul and do our best to train people after they are saved. I say, as I have before, that witnessing can change the population of heaven but discipleship can change the world!

Paul was bold and outspoken in teaching and correcting doctrine. He didn't care if it offended. He just stood for the truth. He even stood up to Peter and other Apostles when they were stepping back into Jewish traditions or acting ashamed of Christ. We, too, should stand on the truth of God's Word unapologetically. We can do this in a loving manner and not go out of our way to offend or be hateful.

Paul didn't beat down doors. He asked for people to pray with him for open doors so the Word of the Lord would have free course. (2 Thessalonians 3:1) He also didn't stay and keep preaching where he wasn't wanted. In Acts 13:51 he and Barnabas shook off the dust of their feet against the Jews who expelled them out of their coasts and went on to the next city. In Acts 18:6 Paul shook his raiment and told the Jews "Your blood be upon your own heads; I am clean. From henceforth I will go unto the Gentiles". Paul was of course speaking about that particular city because we know from further reading in Acts that Paul still preached the gospel to Jews in other places after that. I believe these facts about Paul should remind us that you can't make people hear what they are unwilling to hear. ---Really about anything in life even if it's truth. 

One of Paul's prayer requests was that his fellow Jews would be saved. (Romans 10:1) We, too, should pray for our loved ones to trust in Christ. We can pray that the right thing would be said by us or someone else they encounter to soften their hearts towards the saving knowledge of Jesus. We also need to tell them not just pray for them! Pray for the open door to speak to them. Pray for God's Word to penetrate their heart. Pray for boldness and courage to open your mouth to speak to them. 

See, we can learn more from Paul than just his teachings about how to live a Christian life! 

More Than an Addict

 

So many people write off addicts as good for nothing. I confess that I used to be one of those people. God has spoken to my heart over the past several years and changed my mind. 

I have had family and friends have to deal with their children who were addicted to drugs or alcohol. Now I understand that each of those "good for nothing" addicts is someone's child no matter how old. Each one has a parent who is heart broke over watching their child destroy themselves. I've watched those parents cry, pray, try putting them in rehab and also try tough love. I've seen their agony up close and personal. My heart would break as I watched them at their whit's end. I am very thankful to God that He spared us going through that with our kids. 

There was a time when I didn't understand addiction. Trying to give up soda and sugar has taught me well about addiction! Those things are not near as hard on the body as drugs or alcohol but God still used them to change my heart. Now I understand that the addict's actions and sometimes craziness is not them. It's the addiction. They are controlled by it. The drive to have it causes them to act in ways outside their normal character. They will lie (big time!), cheat, steal and use people to get that drug or alcohol. 

Now my addictions to soda and sugary treats didn't and doesn't drive me to the extremes I mentioned above, but when a craving hits I definitely need a "fix" to satisfy the craving. When I do not satisfy the craving, I can have withdrawal symptoms such as headache (most common for me), dizziness, and mood swings (I get crabby!). I definitely get that "feel good" feeling when I get my fix so I can only imagine how hard it must be on a drug addict or alcoholic. By the way, addictions come in many forms and just because yours isn't illegal or as harmful, doesn't mean you don't probably have the same type of withdrawals! Let someone take away your cigarette, coffee, smart phone, gaming device, or hobby and see how well you do! I believe God used my soda and sugar addictions to open my heart so I would have more compassion and understanding for the addict in general.

Addiction happens for different reasons and is often multifaceted. Often it begins with prescription pain killers after an injury or surgery. The reasoning behind why some folks can just use them sensibly and others become addicted is another blog post for another day. With young people (& quite frankly, even adults) it can start as a result of peer pressure. Often times it only takes one time of use with certain items to become completely addicted. This peer pressure is where the multifaceted comes in. Often, addiction happens as a result of trying to fill a void. People are trying to fill an emptiness. They want to feel accepted for who they are or they want to numb the pain of feeling worthless that is perceived in their own minds or has been portrayed to them from others in their lives. Again, this is a topic that needs a deeper dig and isn't the point of this post so I will not do that deeper dive right now. 

Addicts are more than their addiction. They are people loved by family and friends who are devastated by the addict's self-destructive patterns. They are also souls loved by God who sent Jesus to die for their sins so they could have a relationship with Him. Just like the person who is NOT an addict! When I see who God is. I realize what I am. His holiness reminds me that He had to reach just as far down to save me as He does the addict, robber, rapist and murderer. 

I chose the graphic today to remind us to keep a Christian attitude when it comes to dealing with addicts. Keep that attitude when dealing with everyone because we are all flawed and we all have baggage. Some people just have bigger suitcases than others! Yep, they are more than just an addict. They are loved by someone and loved by God. He wants all to come to repentance and be saved! 

Influence Can Make or Break

 

r

My husband and I have long believed and taught through out our ministry life that we must guard ourselves and our children from bad or wrong influences. What one person can withstand and not be effected by can devastate the next person. Many times we are warned in the bible about guarding against wrong and evil influences. 

Proverbs 1:10-16 - My son, if sinners entice thee, consent thou not. If they say, come with us, let us lay wait for blood, let us lurk privily for the innocent without cause: Let us swallow them up alive as the grave; and whole, as those that go down into the pit: We shall find all precious substance, we shall fill our houses with spoil: Cast in thy lot among us; let us all have one purse: My son, walk not thou in the way with them; refrain thy foot from their path: For their feet run to evil, and make haste to shed blood.

Proverbs 4:14-15 - Enter not into the path of the wicked, and go not in the way of evil men. Avoid it, pass not by it, turn from it, and pass away.

Proverbs 22:24-25 - Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go; Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul.

1 Cor. 5:9-11 - I wrote unto you in an epistle not to company with fornicators: Yet not altogether with the fornicators of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or with idolaters; for then must ye needs go out of the world. But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one, no, not to eat. 

2 Thess. 3:14 - And if any man obey not our word by this epistle, note that man, and have no company with him, that he may be ashamed.

Let's face it, many adults cannot withstand peer pressure. Why would we expect kids to be able to withstand?  Examples of adults not standing against peer pressure are the January 6th protests getting out of hand and leading to much worse things than what was first intended. Many who have been brought to trial used the excuse that they got caught up in the moment. All the protests and riots since the George Floyd incident are more proof of getting caught up in the chaos. Even in the bible the priests and Pharisees stir up the people to crucify Jesus. Many of those same people had only recently laid down palm branches and cried "Hosanna" as Jesus rode into Jerusalem. 

I have watched as certain influences allowed have caused harm or destroyed one child in a family yet had no effect on the other children. I have also watched teenagers be good influences on their parents and an entire church, actually. When my husband was a youth pastor, the teens we worked with became big soul winners and it fired up the whole church to invite and tell people about Christ. We had a constant flow of visitors at the church. Many parents made changes at home in music and faithfulness to church all because their teens were doing right! 

Following right example is also talked about in the bible. Paul tells the church in 2 Thessalonians 3:7-9 - For yourselves know how ye ought to follow us: for we behaved not ourselves disorderly among you; Neither did we eat any man's bread for nought; but wrought with labor and travail night and day, that we might not be chargeable to any of you: Not because we have not power, but to make ourselves an example unto you  follow us. 

Hebrews 13:7 - Remember them which have the rule over you, who have spoken unto you the word of God: whose faith follow, considering the end of their conversation. 

3 John 11 - Beloved, follow not that which is evil, but that which is good. He that doeth good is of God: but he that doeth evil hath not seen God.

If I could just ask that everyone reading this consider seriously what influences you allow for yourself and your children because as my title says, influence can make or break. 

I hope this post makes you think.