Do Overs

Do you remember when you were a kid and playing a game with your friends, siblings, or even your parents? If you didn't like the roll of the dice, the card you picked or the outcome of the current play...you would ask for a do over. More often than not, your parents allowed the do over. Do you ever have days or moments you'd like to do over? Mostly we want those when we mess up. Sometimes we want to have a do over day just because it was so great but more often than not we want to do a moment over because we didn't like the way it went down. I have lots of those. Moments when you say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing...react the wrong way. ...Pretty much blow your Christian testimony. I have no doubt that in the past I have lost some respect because of not controlling my thoughts and then my speech. I have had times when I wished I'd handled something differently or in a more caring and compassionate way. I wish that I'd have taught my daughter more about cooking and organizing as she was growing up. I wish I'd have spent more time learning and asking questions of my mom, grandma and aunts. I wish I could go back in time and ask my dad some questions (he died when I was 12). I have lots of regrets where I caused hurt to someone (sometimes unintentionally and sometimes intentionally). When we are hurt we tend to lash back...to try to hurt in return. I am learning to not do that now that my life is half over, but it is half over and unfortunately, we don't get do overs. Once something is done or said, it is very hard to take it back. The person can forgive but the wound and often scar is still there. Sometimes the wound and the scar run deep. I know alot about scars myself. You think you have moved passed an issue and then Satan will remind you of it. He will bring a memory back that stabs and stings as though it just happened. Often that memory comes at a very inopportune time! Often times, a simple statement or a rolling of the eyes or facial expression can cause more hurt than when someone says something hateful and mean. Sometimes hurt comes because there is no reaction at all. Everyone wants to be loved deeply and unconditionally. We want to be enough....more than enough...in all relationships. --as friends, as spouses, as children. Some kids never grow up ever feeling like they have approval of their parents, even when they are adults. Sometimes friends expect more than a person is capable of giving and then the friend moves to a new friendship and leaves you behind. Sometimes spouses leave because they think they have found something better or younger. Some women struggle with the way the look because their husband is always noticing other women. Some men struggle with this issue too because women either notice other men or ooh and ahh over movie stars. Face it...most people walking do not look like models or movie stars! Most of us have imperfections in our looks....praise the Lord LOVE covers these. It covers transgressions and flaws. When looking at another person with love, the love of Christ, we don't see the flaws. Call it the rose colored glasses syndrome if ya will. I have always said that I'm so thankful that God gives Bob different eyes to see me with. He loves me despite all the imperfections. ..There are plenty believe me! I reckon this post is just theraputic for me maybe...I have been struggling lately with some scars that have been reopened and I need to cleanse and find a way to close them up again.