Who Knows What?

Just some random thoughts I have had flowing lately and a movie I watched recently got me thinking of things to post about. I don't know, maybe it is being stuck in the house from Saturday until Wednesday that is causing my writer side to flow.

Anyhoo, I reckon I have always been someone who is a people watcher, someone who tries to figure out what makes a person tick, and why they do or act the way they do. In my family growing up, there was a lot of double talk...people not saying what they really meant or making digs that mean something or to get someone's attention without coming out and saying it. This was hard for me to overcome and not constantly be trying to figure out what someone is getting at. In adulthood, and as I have grown in the Lord in grace and matured, I try to be more straight forward but I do try to have tact (not always successfully however). Being in the ministry forces you to learn to deal with people and all their quirkiness and weird ways. One thing I have learned over the past 11 years, after being in the ministry in three different states is that people are people no matter where you are. While there are geographical, social and cultural differences from state to state, people are all prone to sin. Ever since the fall of Adam and Eve this has been the case. By this I mean, they will hurt you, disappoint you, surprise you, accept you or not, help you, be compassionate, be vengeful, be apathetic, be on fire sometimes and run cold sometimes and the list goes on. I think you get my point.

I am someone who tries to know people on a deeper level. I try to understand them and now that I'm older, accept them for who they are even if they drive me batty in their ways or attitudes. My hopes and prayers for them is that they would always walk daily as best they can with the Lord and not make huge mistakes that can mess up their lives. My desire to know people in this way means I often have to open myself up on a deeper level also. This means I open myself up for hurt and heartache. My mom always told me I revealed too much of myself to others. I have learned to be more guarded since entering the ministry but haven't completely accomplished the goal. I also, know that people (even strangers) seem to open up to me and tell me things that they wouldn't tell to others. That has always been my whole life. I don't know why. This tendency is probably why I like to blog also.

The thing I'm taking so long to get to is this....people only let someone know what they want them to know. This is true even of the "open book" kind of person. It is hard to allow others to know everything about us; especially our innermost thoughts, desires and dreams. (And this is where the real us exists) We definitely always want others to see our best side (not that we always pull that off) and never want our bad thoughts and actions known. We do our best to hide these. At least this is true of most people. Even mean spirited or obnoxious or "speak their minds" kind of people have a side they hide that has made them this way. There are things in every person's childhood, teen years, adult past that they try to keep hidden or only allow a few select people to know. The closer and deeper you allow someone to know you, the easier it is for that person to hurt you. This is probably why we guard ourselves so much.

Maybe this post will help us to realize that we can only know what someone allows us to know. Now, there are some like psychologists and other smart, intuitive people who can see through and read others and figure them out. I am someone who works at trying to figure people out. Some cases are harder to read than others but I will continue to work at it as long as I have them in my life.