My Current Journey's Dash

Just wanted to blog about what is going on with me lately. Regular readers (which are few - some may wonder why I even bother with this blog since I do have such few followers but it is an outlet for me...that's all I can say) anyhoo, those who do follow know that there has been alot happening in our lives since April. We closed our church, started attending another church in the area until we understand God's Will for our next step, and spent time grieving this and trying to press forward. There was alot to do to empty the church building and finalize the closing. Because the church closed, we lost almost half our monthly income. We were given something as sort of a severance pay that helped keep us going until recently. Because we are in somewhat of a different situation than the average person who just lost a job...Bob couldn't just go get another secular job to replace the church income. Bob is burdened to be in the ministry and serving God in a pastoral capacity. This means he must find a way to earn money and still have time to apply at and candidate at churches that are seeking pastors. He MUST have this freedom. He didn't want to get a job and quit right away if a church called him as pastor or be tied down so that he couldn't have time off to candidate. He is an electrical lineman by trade and decided to go back to doing line work through contracted union labor. This means leaving home and going on the road traveling wherever the work is. He is currently 10 hours away from me in Ohio. It was 2 weeks yesterday since he left. The good thing about it is that the pay is good and will help us get back on our feet and caught up on bills AND it is easy to just decide to quit and go home when he feels it has been long enough or if a church calls him. That is how lineman contract work is. People come and go from jobs on a regular basis and as long as you keep your "dues" paid up, you can accept or decline work as it is offered. It gives you some freedom and good pay. The drawback is the being away from home and the usually always long hours. He is currently working 10 hours a day 6 days a week!

Of course, military wives, truckers' wives and oil workers' wives also deal with those same issues of husbands being gone, so I am not trying to "boohoo" here, just going to write about what this is like for us. Military wives being the ones whose job is the hardest for it is for much longer periods of time than the others and with less contact by phone or mail or whatever too.  Often they are in another country on the other side of the world. I applaud you for your sacrifice of giving them up for my safety! (clap clap clap)

 It is hard bearing all the load and burdens on the home front when a husband is gone. You cling to the idea of when they get back and that helps you get through each day. And IT IS day by day!!! If kids are there it can be in some ways easier because they are a daily distraction but it also means you assume full responsibility of their care...24/7. If you are an empty-nester (as I am) there is more lonely time to fill.

You are taking over the "home duties and responsibilities" that the husband normally does. ...grass cutting, car maintenance, trash, home repairs, (and for me taking care of our large garden and harvesting it), etc. This may mean doing it yourself or being responsible to find someone else do it. It can become overwhelming when added to your normal daily chores that most women have. There is less laundry and less cooking meals so that burden gets cut as you take on the new ones.

Staying busy doing things helps to pass the time. When I stay idle too long I get sad and cry. I spend alot of time praying and asking God to keep Bob safe, his back and knees healthy and bring him home to me safe and sound asap.  Line work is dangerous. You need the other people you are working with to be conscious of what they are doing and to KNOW what they are doing or you can get seriously hurt or killed.

The longer the husband is away, the bigger adjustment to daily life when he returns. It may be hard to understand but that is the way it is. You are both sooo happy to be together again but you both have gotten used to being alone and doing things in your own little ways and dealing with things and it just takes some adjustment to get acclimated again. For instance, the woman has had to make many daily decisions on her own without him. It may be hard to step back and let him take over the head reigns again if you do not work at it. It may take time to get used to sleeping in the same bed again after a long period of time (even tho you have waited and waited for that) because you have started sleeping stretched out all over the place.

I'm just stating facts here that are the way it is often times. I'm not trying to boohoo or complain or say it can't be done. It has been done by me before and by many others now and in the past. I'm just letting those who have never gone through it understand how it is and what it is like.

If you know someone who is going through this, please be understanding and lend an ear, a hand or just a respite out. Call and check on them so they don't feel so alone. Just wanted to talk about what is going on here and give some insight into what life is like when a husband has to be gone.