Bob recently taught (part of a message) on the differences in what women & men want from a relationship. He elaborated on that women generally (when polled) want to know they are loved unconditionally while men want a wife to respect them. How interesting this is when God in His Word places commandments concerning these very two things! Husbands are commanded to love their wife (Eph. 5:24) and wives are commanded to reverence their husband (Eph. 5:33) In other words, respect!
I thought I would post some things to make ladies think about whether or not they have been respecting their husband. Often times things we do or say can actually be disrespecting our husband and we do not even realize it.
I cannot take credit for all of the things I will mention because I have sat under some good speakers and teachers from which I have gleaned wisdom. I often am reminded of these because I am sometimes guilty of some of the things I will mention. So, this is a good reminder for me too!
One of the biggies is do not second guess or question his decisions (especially in public). When you do this, the man feels as though you do not trust him or that you do not think he is smart enough to handle a situation. They are commanded in scripture to be the leader and caregiver and provider of the home, wife and children. If you feel there is a mistake being made, approach the subject with caution after you feel he can be approached and at an appropriate time. Think about it ladies, when you are making a mistake in the rearing of your child at the moment, do you like one of your lady friends to point it out at that given moment? No! We will be more receptive after the urgent moment has passed. Now, sometimes it is necessary to correct immediately but this should not be a thing that happens regularly or often. Usually, my rule of thumb is to ask Bob if he has prayed about a thing or situation. If he tells me yes, then I submit to his authority or leadership whether I agree or not and then I pray for God to help Bob in that decision or change his mind if it is not good for us. Prayer changes people and situations!
Do not, DO NOT, say to your kids "Don't tell Dad about this"!!! (Unless it is a surprise for him) You are teaching your kids that you in a sense want to lead, that what he doesn't know won't hurt him, that he is not worth respecting as the leader of the home, and you are undermining his authority with them. This also teaches them to be sneaky and underhanded and that it is you and them against him. Also, if you teach them this, it will eventually teach them to be sneaky with you too!
Do not be critical of him to others. This is especially important to ladies who have husbands in ministry positions (paid or unpaid - ex. Deacons, Youth Pastors, Sunday School teachers). They are leaders over certain groups and when you are critical it shows others that you do not respect him. Then why should they follow or listen when he tries to teach or counsel?
Do not imply or make reference that he does not supply enough money to take care of you. Sometimes situations and life circumstances cause financial burdens and stress but sometimes we just need to buckle down and not spend! Men generally like to feel they are good providers. Maybe you don't get to have all you want but do you have all you actually need? When push comes to shove, you will be surprised how much longer a car, couch, washer, dishwasher or clothing can hold out until you are more stable financially.
Never NEVER compare him to another man (as though he isn't as good or physically fit or romantic) even if it is a celebrity. Do you want to be compared to Jennifer Aniston or
Taylor Swift or Sandra Bullock? Or do you want to be compared to you sister or friend who is a better housekeeper or cook? Nuff Said!
Welp, I think that is enough things to get your mind thinking and heart convicted about your words and actions. Hope this helps you realize if you are guilty of not respecting your husband. If you are guilty --- make it right. Apologize! It will make for a sweet night at your house!
1 comment:
This is a great post! Wish I had read it when I was first married and unsaved. Every new wife needs to read this. Great post!
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