Spouses and Best Friends

I am going to marry my friend today...
The one who shares my 
Dreams, Life and Love

This is what our wedding invitation said on the front. 

Bob and I were friends before we even started dating. I was actually going with and "promised" to one of his high school friends. We dated for 1 1/2 years before marriage. It was a long distance romance though. He was in the Army in Colorado and I was in Missouri working. This was way before cell phones and long distance calling was not done by most on a regular basis. We wrote many letters and he called me every other Sunday to talk. We saw each other when he had "leave". We even planned our wedding long distance! He flew in to St. Louis 6 days before the wedding and then went deer hunting for two days as soon as he got in to town! lol 

I'm digressing...sorry I was enjoying thinking over old memories! The song we danced to at our reception was "You're My Best Friend" by Don Williams (mostly because the band didn't know how to play "There's No Way" by Alabama; which was "Our" song). My point is...
When we first got married we thought we knew all about being friends. I'm sure most think they know. Maybe those who were childhood friends and high school sweethearts do know about friendship but I think that spouses become true friends over time in their marriage. 

At first, couples tend to hide who they really are from one another. In a sense they may even lie to one another about likes and dislikes and preferences. Maybe this is to protect feelings but I think it is more than likely to hide your inner most thoughts and desires from the other. Also, I believe most couples have to learn to become best friends because they have gone from high school and/or college friends or work buddies to spending time with mostly their spouse. I think this is a good thing and goes right along with the leaving and cleaving that happens when the couple separates from the parents but should also include strong friendships outside the spousal communion. Shouldn't the person you've chosen to share life with be the one with whom you have the strongest friendship?!

Over time and through experiences and as you trust one another more, the guard is let down and you allow the other to see more and more of who you really are. You become less hesitant to share thoughts, ideas, dreams and opinions. These are at the core of what makes up a friendship. KNOWING the other person. 

I can say without hesitation my best friend on earth is Bob. There is no one I'd rather spend time with than him! He's my favorite person and ya know what?...that being said there are still times he gets on my nerves! There are times I get upset with him or even need to be away from him. lol I can also truly say that those times are very few! That's how close friendships are...you learn to deal with one another and all the quirks and flaws and forgive one another of faults and mistakes. I don't think you make it 31 years without becoming best friends...at least not happily. 

If you read this and you don't consider your spouse your best friend, it's time to work on that! Share with one another! Let go of petty arguments and trivial annoyances and love and LIKE each other! That's the true test... love is commanded and even decided that you do even on days you don't feel it. LIKE is something that had better be there, or the friendship and a happy marriage will not survive!