When the Norm Changes

Often times change comes suddenly and unexpectedly and the average person is unable to cope. Even though life has had a major altertion from the norm, they refuse to accept what has happened and fight to hold on to what was. They will not move forward and learn what is necessary to make adjustments and live in a new manner. 

During the 14 months that my mom battled cancer, our family was constantly saying "Welcome to the new norm". From learning to administer pain meds and flush out feeding tubes to seeing Mom without hair. If you do not accept the here and now and adjust your attitude to it, you will be frozen and unable to deal and cope. 

No matter what is happening in your life that is different than you are used to or different than you want it to be, you must always be willing to move on to the new plan. Those who do not adjust and learn to cope with the reality of the situation, will become angry and miserable. They may also completely shut down and become useless. 

When my husband entered ministry  life (and myself and kids also) the kids had a major life change. They were leaving everything they knew behind and moving to a strange town in  a strange state and leaving close friends and family behind. I bought a book called Who Moved My Cheese for Teens by Spencer Johnson. I read it with them to try to help them see what was necessary for them to cope with the situation. The book uses test mice examples to show what happens when you refuse to accept the change. 

There will always be unexpected change in life. Some are simple daily changes to schedules or things just not happening the way you are used to or the way you want. Some will be big life changing events that feel like a tornado has ripped through  (maybe one literally rips through!) and causes such upheaval and change in routine that grieving actually takes place. That's fine as long as you, as quickly as possible, accept the change and move on and do what is now necessary for life. Sometimes health changes and you must learn how to deal with taking daily meds or how to deal with the loss of a limb or eyesight or hearing or what have you. Maybe you must now deal with caring for a special needs child. Whatever the new "Norm" is, the faster you accept, the faster transition will come and return to routine...just a different routine. 

Sometimes life is plush and laid back and easy going...other times it's desert and barren and takes alot of effort!