Life as a Fixer

 

When I talk about being a fixer I am not talking about being a lawyer for a powerful and influential family. I'm also not talking about a person who cleans up messes for a mafia or crime lord family like you see on TV shows or movies. I am talking about being someone who does their best to help solve the problems of family and friends.

These people, these "fixers" have deep desires to take on the trials and burdens of those around them. They become consumed at times with trying to figure out how to help lift the load of those who are hurting physically, mentally or financially. They sacrifice time, energy and money in order to help those they love and care about. They always want to fix whatever problem others are facing.

I know of where I speak because I AM one of those fixers! As a matter of fact, I come from a long line of fixers on both sides of my family. My mom always tried to help people, especially her children. Her mom, my grandma, was also a fixer. She always tried to help family and friends with money problems. My grandma on my dad's side lived a life as a fixer. She was always trying to be a help and make life easier for her family. She gave and loaned money and had family members move in with her so they could get back on their feet. I have cousins who lean hard towards the "fixer" mentality, too.

I tend to take on burdens of every sort from those around me. I have done so since childhood. I so desperately want no one I care about to struggle physically, mentally or financially. If I can help fix it, then I want to do so and often go to great lengths to help. I'm pretty sure that's a good thing in this world. The problem comes in when we ignore care of ourselves. We fixers tend to neglect to get proper rest, sleep or food because we get so burdened in our hearts and minds for our loved ones' situations. Self care goes right out the window as we listen to the trials and burdens that everyone is dealing with. We go about trying to fix their problems at sometimes great cost to us mentally and physically. We can make ourselves sick with concern and searching for solutions for them. 

I know that prayer and giving things over to God is what is most necessary. It is not always easy to do, though! Our fixer tendencies come out, making it harder to let go and let God handle it. This shows our deep compassion for others. I've not met a "fixer" yet that wasn't a compassionate person. Be grateful for the fixers in your life. It's not always easy for them and remember that sometimes your fixer needs fixing, too!