Since I just did a lesson about becoming like a sheep, I had the facts I have learned about sheep and shepherds rolling in my mind while preparing to teach.
For those who don't know about things that shepherds do, here are some facts. They use their staff for different things. The curved end is to hook the sheep's neck and pull him back and the straight end is used to help the shepherd clear a path when necessary and to lean upon as he leads. If the shepherd has a stubborn sheep that will not stay with the flock, the shepherd breaks the leg of the sheep or lamb and then carries the sheep on his shoulders until the leg is healed. This serves two purposes...they no longer go astray and they become totally reliant on the shepherd.
The depiction of Jesus as a shepherd is probably my favorite of him. When you know all the things about the sheep -shepherd relationship it makes for a beautiful picture of the Lord's care.
This is not a lesson on all those things but I'm sure their will be a full post about that later. This is about how as Christians we stray from walking close to the Lord. We can become stubborn and do things in our own way and we can stop obeying the tugging from the Holy Spirit. When we do this enough, God in a sense breaks our leg to bring us back to relying on and obeying Him. He may literally break a bone, but more often he will chastise in another way. He will do something to get your attention that will bring you back to your prayer knees, your seeking of His will, and Bible reading. He is the Good Shepherd! That is His job! If you don't want your leg broke, stay near the shepherd and where He wants you!
Just a quick devo to make you think about your walk.
This is a blog to hopefully encourage and help others in their journey through life to become a better Christian, wife, mother, grandmother, or person because NONE OF US have arrived. We are all Rubies in the Making! Rubies in the rough have not yet been perfected. My goal is to be a thought provoker! I will share ideas, thoughts, poems, recipes and yes even an occasional rant. My prayer is that I will be a help to someone.
October 9, 2015
Becoming Like a Sheep - Lessons from the Farm Series
We are going to start by talking about the behaviors of sheep. Then we will look at each of the behaviors and see how we can apply them to our own lives as Christians.
- Gregarious - prefer to be with herd or to flock
- Followers - need leadership so they don't go astray (sheep are lead not driven like cattle)
- Timid - run from what frightens them or what will do harm
- Dependent - rely on the shepherd for their needs
I. Gregarious - Learn to flock
- sheep do this because they are very social and it is one of their only forms of defense (protects from predators) besides the shepherd (when they stay grouped up it is harder for their predators to get one)
Ps. 133:1 Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!
Heb. 10:25 - Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.
- We NEED Christian fellowship - it helps to build us up and encourage us
- It also helps to protect us against the world and sin - it is easier to stand in a crowd than alone
II. Followers - follow your leader whom ever it may be - husband, pastor, boss, or parent and Christ
Eph. 5:22 - Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
- When we follow our husbands it is like we are doing it to the Lord
Heb. 13:17 - Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they must give an account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you.
- the pastor will someday give an account for how he watched for your soul and ran the church - there is a lot of responsibility on his shoulders!
Col. 3:20 - Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.
- when kids are young they are to obey but when we are grown up we are still to honor them
Eph. 6:5 - Servants, be obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in singleness of your heart, as unto Christ;
- there is a command to obey your boss
John 10:27 - My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me:
- if we are one of God's sheep, He knows us and we should know Him and His voice and follow - when the Holy Spirit is tugging at our hearts we should obey
III. Timid - Learn to run from harm - run from sin
- we need to practice running from temptations and evil influences that would only harm us
Prov. 4:14-15 - Enter not into the path of the wicked, and go not in the way of evil men.
Avoid it, pass not by it, turn from it, and pass away.
- don't follow the wicked and partake in their ways
1 Cor. 6:18 - Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
Eph. 5:11 - And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them.
2 Tim. 2:22 - Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
James 4:7 - Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
- flee or run from ungodly things, resist
IV. Docile - Learn to be peaceful and forgiving
Matt. 6:14 - For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
- when we forgive, God forgives
1 Thess 5:15 - See that none render evil for evil unto any man; but ever follow that which is good, both among yourselves, and to all men.
Heb. 12:14 - Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord:
- we are commanded to not get revenge and to live peaceably
V. Dependent - Learn to rely on Jesus
Ps. 34:9-10 - O fear the LORD, ye his saints: for there is no want to them that fear him.
The young lions do lack, and suffer hunger: but they that seek the LORD shall not want any good thing.
Philippians 4:19 - But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
- God loves us and wants to take care of our needs and give us good things!
- Gregarious - prefer to be with herd or to flock
- Followers - need leadership so they don't go astray (sheep are lead not driven like cattle)
- Timid - run from what frightens them or what will do harm
- Dependent - rely on the shepherd for their needs
I. Gregarious - Learn to flock
- sheep do this because they are very social and it is one of their only forms of defense (protects from predators) besides the shepherd (when they stay grouped up it is harder for their predators to get one)
Ps. 133:1 Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!
Heb. 10:25 - Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.
- We NEED Christian fellowship - it helps to build us up and encourage us
- It also helps to protect us against the world and sin - it is easier to stand in a crowd than alone
II. Followers - follow your leader whom ever it may be - husband, pastor, boss, or parent and Christ
Eph. 5:22 - Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
- When we follow our husbands it is like we are doing it to the Lord
Heb. 13:17 - Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they must give an account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you.
- the pastor will someday give an account for how he watched for your soul and ran the church - there is a lot of responsibility on his shoulders!
Col. 3:20 - Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.
- when kids are young they are to obey but when we are grown up we are still to honor them
Eph. 6:5 - Servants, be obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in singleness of your heart, as unto Christ;
- there is a command to obey your boss
John 10:27 - My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me:
- if we are one of God's sheep, He knows us and we should know Him and His voice and follow - when the Holy Spirit is tugging at our hearts we should obey
III. Timid - Learn to run from harm - run from sin
- we need to practice running from temptations and evil influences that would only harm us
Prov. 4:14-15 - Enter not into the path of the wicked, and go not in the way of evil men.
Avoid it, pass not by it, turn from it, and pass away.
- don't follow the wicked and partake in their ways
1 Cor. 6:18 - Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
Eph. 5:11 - And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them.
2 Tim. 2:22 - Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
James 4:7 - Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
- flee or run from ungodly things, resist
IV. Docile - Learn to be peaceful and forgiving
Matt. 6:14 - For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
- when we forgive, God forgives
1 Thess 5:15 - See that none render evil for evil unto any man; but ever follow that which is good, both among yourselves, and to all men.
Heb. 12:14 - Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord:
- we are commanded to not get revenge and to live peaceably
V. Dependent - Learn to rely on Jesus
Ps. 34:9-10 - O fear the LORD, ye his saints: for there is no want to them that fear him.
The young lions do lack, and suffer hunger: but they that seek the LORD shall not want any good thing.
Philippians 4:19 - But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
- God loves us and wants to take care of our needs and give us good things!
September 8, 2015
Becoming Like a Horse - Lessons From the Farm Series
Psalm 31:3 - For thou art my rock and my fortress; therefore for thy name's sake lead me, and guide me.
---this should be our daily prayer!
Horses (broke horses) are lead, guided and controlled by us with bits, bridles and blinders. We're going to look at these three items and how they can apply to our lives.
I. Bits In - James 3:3 - Behold, we put bits in the horses' mouths, that they may obey us; and we turn about their whole body.
- we use different bits for different control depending on how stubborn a horse may be.
- some are designed to be more harsh to stop the stubbornness.
Just as bits are used to control a horse, we need to keep bits in our mouths to control our speech.
Prov. 18:21 - Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.
- we can use our mouth for negative or positive - to be foolish or wise
James 3:8-10, Prov. 15:1 & 7, Prov. 12:18
II. Bridles On - 1 Cor. 9:27 - But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway.
- horses are either "neck reined" or "pull reined" depending on the training and stubbornness of the horse. (reins are the long straps you hold coming off the bridle)
- neck reined means you turn the horse by allowing the rein to touch the side of the neck and the horse knows to turn that way
- pull reined means you must pull whichever rein in the direction you want the horse to go
Just as bridles are used on a horse to guide and keep it under subjection, so must we be in subjection to God and His will.
God prefers to start with whispers! But He will yank you around if necessary!
James 4:7, Heb. 12:9
III. Blinders On - Rom. 12:2 - And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
- because horses get spooked and distracted and take off and stop minding commands blinders are used to keep race horses and draft horses (for work) focused on the task before them.
- We need to have blinders on to not be distracted by the things of the world.
Col. 3:2, Titus 2:12, 1 John 2:15-17
Remember to keep bits in, bridles on and blinders on!
---this should be our daily prayer!
Horses (broke horses) are lead, guided and controlled by us with bits, bridles and blinders. We're going to look at these three items and how they can apply to our lives.
I. Bits In - James 3:3 - Behold, we put bits in the horses' mouths, that they may obey us; and we turn about their whole body.
- we use different bits for different control depending on how stubborn a horse may be.
- some are designed to be more harsh to stop the stubbornness.
Just as bits are used to control a horse, we need to keep bits in our mouths to control our speech.
Prov. 18:21 - Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.
- we can use our mouth for negative or positive - to be foolish or wise
James 3:8-10, Prov. 15:1 & 7, Prov. 12:18
II. Bridles On - 1 Cor. 9:27 - But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway.
- horses are either "neck reined" or "pull reined" depending on the training and stubbornness of the horse. (reins are the long straps you hold coming off the bridle)
- neck reined means you turn the horse by allowing the rein to touch the side of the neck and the horse knows to turn that way
- pull reined means you must pull whichever rein in the direction you want the horse to go
Just as bridles are used on a horse to guide and keep it under subjection, so must we be in subjection to God and His will.
God prefers to start with whispers! But He will yank you around if necessary!
James 4:7, Heb. 12:9
III. Blinders On - Rom. 12:2 - And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
- because horses get spooked and distracted and take off and stop minding commands blinders are used to keep race horses and draft horses (for work) focused on the task before them.
- We need to have blinders on to not be distracted by the things of the world.
Col. 3:2, Titus 2:12, 1 John 2:15-17
Remember to keep bits in, bridles on and blinders on!
September 3, 2015
A Grandma Again!
On August 21, 2015 at 12:13 am I became a grandma for the second time this year. I'd like to introduce Lucy Diane. She weighed 7 lbs 2 oz and was 20 1/2 inches long.
Even though my youngest made me a grandma first, earlier this same year; there was something special about watching my first have her first. Little Lulu gave her Momma quite a trial coming in to the world but she is well worth it.
Getting to be there for all the labor and waiting for the c-section delivery in the waiting room helped me to realize that my daughter is way stronger and tougher than I ever knew. She did amazingly well with out pain killers for over 8 hours of hard labor and then another 6 or more hours before a c section took place. She toughed it out for sooo long! I'm so proud of her!
God once again showed his blessings and love on our family by making doctors predictions wrong. At about 20 weeks, Lucy was diagnosed (invetro) with club feet. Prayers were answered as requested and there is no club feet!!! She does have a turning in a bit but drs say that massage and turning daily will take care of it.
So Addelyn and Lucy made me a grandma this year ---cousins that I hope will become great friends in the future.
Even though my youngest made me a grandma first, earlier this same year; there was something special about watching my first have her first. Little Lulu gave her Momma quite a trial coming in to the world but she is well worth it.
Getting to be there for all the labor and waiting for the c-section delivery in the waiting room helped me to realize that my daughter is way stronger and tougher than I ever knew. She did amazingly well with out pain killers for over 8 hours of hard labor and then another 6 or more hours before a c section took place. She toughed it out for sooo long! I'm so proud of her!
God once again showed his blessings and love on our family by making doctors predictions wrong. At about 20 weeks, Lucy was diagnosed (invetro) with club feet. Prayers were answered as requested and there is no club feet!!! She does have a turning in a bit but drs say that massage and turning daily will take care of it.
So Addelyn and Lucy made me a grandma this year ---cousins that I hope will become great friends in the future.
August 15, 2015
Truth Sets You Free!
In my devotions the other day I saw a passage in a new way. I was in John 8:31-36. Jesus tells the Jews listening that if they would continue in His Word then they are truly disciples (paraphrasing) and then they shall know the truth and the truth shall make them free. In their arrogance, they tell him that they were born free and had never been in bondage. Jesus tells them that if they commit sin then they are in bondage to that sin and all that goes with it.
Knowing truth from God's Word frees you from bondage of sin and worldly ways.
* First, it leads you to salvation which frees you from the debt of sin
* Second, it leads you to godly living and away from the entrapment of worldly lusts
Accepting truth is what helps you in situations...it is freeing for your peace of mind and soul
--It frees you from denial - as long as you deny the facts you stay stuck
--It frees you from pretense - you no longer pretend that a situation is the way YOU want it to be
--It frees you from lies - you no longer need to lie to cover up for yourself or someone else
--It frees you to move past the situation and on with life
Truth indeed sets you free!!
Just a little something to ponder. ..Embrace truth!
Knowing truth from God's Word frees you from bondage of sin and worldly ways.
* First, it leads you to salvation which frees you from the debt of sin
* Second, it leads you to godly living and away from the entrapment of worldly lusts
Accepting truth is what helps you in situations...it is freeing for your peace of mind and soul
--It frees you from denial - as long as you deny the facts you stay stuck
--It frees you from pretense - you no longer pretend that a situation is the way YOU want it to be
--It frees you from lies - you no longer need to lie to cover up for yourself or someone else
--It frees you to move past the situation and on with life
Truth indeed sets you free!!
Just a little something to ponder. ..Embrace truth!
August 7, 2015
The Brokenness of People
Most of my life, I have been a people watcher. I tend to observe the inner actions between people, their body languages, facial expressions, words they say, etc. I like to know what makes people tick...understand them. Even strangers. I often watch and wonder what is going on that makes them do what they do. Sometimes, in my busy days and/or my cynicism, I forget to realize that every person is broken in some way, shape or form. Yes, it is true. Listen to their story and you will find this out. Even the most together person has cracks and slivers of brokenness that need healing. Life has a way of doing that in this sinful world. Every person has a story that makes them say or do the things they do. Most try to hide it from the world and especially their close friends and relatives but the broken scars are still there.
What everyone needs (along with Jesus) is to feel understood, to feel loved unconditionally and to feel like they matter in this world. (I think I've posted about that particular subject before but it bears repeating) To provide these things there must above all be compassion. Compassion sees the hurt and damage behind the words and behavior. Compassion allows you to reach out and to be understanding and help them.
Over the past couple of years the Lord has worked on my mind and heart about judging others' habits and addictions. By the way, habits ARE addictions! I had a thought a couple years ago (probably from the Holy Spirit) that who are you to be judgmental about someone else's addiction just because theirs is illegal or if not should be due to the harm it leads to in their own lives and those around them. Examples are drugs, alcohol and smoking. My addiction to soda is also harmful. Food addiction is harmful, too. Now, when I talk about being judgmental, I'm not talking about "judge not lest ye be judged". This is often misused scripture for those who want to continue in sin. When the Bible says this, it means not to judge in condemnation. (to think you are better than them) God does expect us to make decisions about right and wrong and to judge righteous judgment. If we do not, how can we follow the command to come out from among them and be ye separate? I confess that in the past I have been guilty of feeling superior to those with chemical dependency or alcohol and even felt disdain for them. I have worked up close and personal in a Christian addiction recovery program to try to help people. I have seen in friends and family members the lies, destruction of the body and relationships and families so I allowed my heart to become hardened towards these folks. After struggling with giving up soda, I fully understand addiction! Now, I do not understand wanting to try drugs in the first place but I DO understand trying to quit. (I say I don't understand wanting to try it in the first place but really it probably has to do with whatever brokenness has come their way) By the way, while working in the recovery program, many used to say that cigarettes were much harder to quit than illegal drugs.
As I said, EVERYONE is broken in some way. Some only have some cracks, some have big cracks that they have allowed to mend but scars are still present and some are shattered so severely that it could take a whole life time to be mended.
I don't think anyone but God knows just how many people walking the earth have been sexually, physically or verbally abused. Only God knows how many have been through emotional and/or physical trauma so traumatic that they cry inside every single day. And here's the thing, sometimes it doesn't have to be a major trauma. What is a small thing to one person is completely devastating to another.
I reckon this post is just to make people realize that maybe the person being a jerk or being rude today is broken. Of course, the biggest brokenness is the severed relationship between God and man that can only be fixed by Jesus. Some days I just look around and am saddened by the fact that less people know Jesus than most people realize. Even professing Christians speak and act out in ways they shouldn't due to how they were broken in the past. Maybe we should realize that what all need is kindness, or a hug, or understanding and without a doubt COMPASSION!
What everyone needs (along with Jesus) is to feel understood, to feel loved unconditionally and to feel like they matter in this world. (I think I've posted about that particular subject before but it bears repeating) To provide these things there must above all be compassion. Compassion sees the hurt and damage behind the words and behavior. Compassion allows you to reach out and to be understanding and help them.
Over the past couple of years the Lord has worked on my mind and heart about judging others' habits and addictions. By the way, habits ARE addictions! I had a thought a couple years ago (probably from the Holy Spirit) that who are you to be judgmental about someone else's addiction just because theirs is illegal or if not should be due to the harm it leads to in their own lives and those around them. Examples are drugs, alcohol and smoking. My addiction to soda is also harmful. Food addiction is harmful, too. Now, when I talk about being judgmental, I'm not talking about "judge not lest ye be judged". This is often misused scripture for those who want to continue in sin. When the Bible says this, it means not to judge in condemnation. (to think you are better than them) God does expect us to make decisions about right and wrong and to judge righteous judgment. If we do not, how can we follow the command to come out from among them and be ye separate? I confess that in the past I have been guilty of feeling superior to those with chemical dependency or alcohol and even felt disdain for them. I have worked up close and personal in a Christian addiction recovery program to try to help people. I have seen in friends and family members the lies, destruction of the body and relationships and families so I allowed my heart to become hardened towards these folks. After struggling with giving up soda, I fully understand addiction! Now, I do not understand wanting to try drugs in the first place but I DO understand trying to quit. (I say I don't understand wanting to try it in the first place but really it probably has to do with whatever brokenness has come their way) By the way, while working in the recovery program, many used to say that cigarettes were much harder to quit than illegal drugs.
As I said, EVERYONE is broken in some way. Some only have some cracks, some have big cracks that they have allowed to mend but scars are still present and some are shattered so severely that it could take a whole life time to be mended.
I don't think anyone but God knows just how many people walking the earth have been sexually, physically or verbally abused. Only God knows how many have been through emotional and/or physical trauma so traumatic that they cry inside every single day. And here's the thing, sometimes it doesn't have to be a major trauma. What is a small thing to one person is completely devastating to another.
I reckon this post is just to make people realize that maybe the person being a jerk or being rude today is broken. Of course, the biggest brokenness is the severed relationship between God and man that can only be fixed by Jesus. Some days I just look around and am saddened by the fact that less people know Jesus than most people realize. Even professing Christians speak and act out in ways they shouldn't due to how they were broken in the past. Maybe we should realize that what all need is kindness, or a hug, or understanding and without a doubt COMPASSION!
August 4, 2015
Great Expectations
Great expectations....no this is not about the book. (I've never read it, but I'd like to) I want to address the topic of our expectations. I came to realize years ago that our biggest disappointments in life usually stem from our expectations. When things don't go as we expected them to, we get sad, angry, and may even have a complete "melt down". Basically, adults are often like the three year old that doesn't get what they want, right when they want it. This can be displayed in many areas from road rage to birthday gifts to supper plans, to date plans to bedroom plans and on and on. We get angry when traffic doesn't move along as we want. We get sad when we don't receive the gift we were hoping to receive. We may feel cheated when we don't get to go out to eat or when something other than we want must be cooked. We get upset when a date must be cancelled or is not what we wanted it to be. We feel unloved if romance doesn't carry on the way we daydreamed earlier in the day. When these things happen and we dwell on the not getting what we want, we react in negative ways. Even if we don't react, we deal with all these emotions inside because expectations were not met.
The old term, "the honeymoon is over" stems from when newlyweds have the newness and giddiness wear off and reality sets in. A few days, weeks or months (depending on the couple) after the wedding, reality of life...habits, characteristics unknown until you actually dwell together, finances, work schedules, ...life.. reveal themselves and adjustments must be made as starry rose colored glasses come off. Pretty much every married man or woman out there at some point after the wedding has the thought "this is not what I thought it would be like". Most people adjust and take it in stride and learn to give and take and accept shortcomings and missed expectations. There are some who do not, though, and these are the folks that struggle with bitterness and resentment. They become cynical or short tempered or live in a state of distress or depression. They become nagging (not just women) and critical.
The higher you set your expectations the greater chance for disappointment and hurt. Now, I am not talking about setting expectations for personal goals to achieve or expectations of our children. Realistic expectations. I am talking about day dream type of expectations. Wanting a husband to be sweet and thoughtful and romantic 100% of the time like the guys in the chick flick movies is unrealistic. 50% may be unrealistic for many! Wanting a wife like June Cleaver who cooks breakfast dressed in pretty clothes with full make up on and wearing pearls (who also cleans in the same way!) is also unrealistic. Face it...everyone wakes up with morning breath, hair sticking up and in need of brushing their teeth! Men, especially those who do physical labor for employment, get dirty and stinky from working and sweating. Reality is reality and we either accept it or get upset.
Expectations must not dictate our lives. Plans often must change due to unforeseen circumstances. Cars break down, children get sick or have ornery days, and needs arise. I always say "make your plans in pencil and give God the eraser". (In fact, this saying is on our church sign outside right now!)
Everyone day dreams or fantasizes about how things may be for a particular moment. That is ok as long as you realize that it may not become reality and you don't allow yourself to become upset if it doesn't and you can enjoy the moment that truly does happen. Ladies, if your guy texts or calls during the day to say hello and to hear your voice, be happy and thankful and don't be upset if he doesn't bring you flowers when he gets home or take you out for a candle light dinner. Accept the good things that come your way. Guys, if you come home from work and she is wearing baggy lounging clothes with her hair in a ponytail but has cooked a great meal then be happy and thankful. And remember, she looks the same under those clothes whether they are baggy sweat pants or a pretty dress. ;) Just saying!
Maybe we need to evaluate our expectations and remember to keep them in check and make them realistic. If we don't, we are in for much hurt feelings and disappointments. Learn to go with the flow!
The old term, "the honeymoon is over" stems from when newlyweds have the newness and giddiness wear off and reality sets in. A few days, weeks or months (depending on the couple) after the wedding, reality of life...habits, characteristics unknown until you actually dwell together, finances, work schedules, ...life.. reveal themselves and adjustments must be made as starry rose colored glasses come off. Pretty much every married man or woman out there at some point after the wedding has the thought "this is not what I thought it would be like". Most people adjust and take it in stride and learn to give and take and accept shortcomings and missed expectations. There are some who do not, though, and these are the folks that struggle with bitterness and resentment. They become cynical or short tempered or live in a state of distress or depression. They become nagging (not just women) and critical.
The higher you set your expectations the greater chance for disappointment and hurt. Now, I am not talking about setting expectations for personal goals to achieve or expectations of our children. Realistic expectations. I am talking about day dream type of expectations. Wanting a husband to be sweet and thoughtful and romantic 100% of the time like the guys in the chick flick movies is unrealistic. 50% may be unrealistic for many! Wanting a wife like June Cleaver who cooks breakfast dressed in pretty clothes with full make up on and wearing pearls (who also cleans in the same way!) is also unrealistic. Face it...everyone wakes up with morning breath, hair sticking up and in need of brushing their teeth! Men, especially those who do physical labor for employment, get dirty and stinky from working and sweating. Reality is reality and we either accept it or get upset.
Expectations must not dictate our lives. Plans often must change due to unforeseen circumstances. Cars break down, children get sick or have ornery days, and needs arise. I always say "make your plans in pencil and give God the eraser". (In fact, this saying is on our church sign outside right now!)
Everyone day dreams or fantasizes about how things may be for a particular moment. That is ok as long as you realize that it may not become reality and you don't allow yourself to become upset if it doesn't and you can enjoy the moment that truly does happen. Ladies, if your guy texts or calls during the day to say hello and to hear your voice, be happy and thankful and don't be upset if he doesn't bring you flowers when he gets home or take you out for a candle light dinner. Accept the good things that come your way. Guys, if you come home from work and she is wearing baggy lounging clothes with her hair in a ponytail but has cooked a great meal then be happy and thankful. And remember, she looks the same under those clothes whether they are baggy sweat pants or a pretty dress. ;) Just saying!
Maybe we need to evaluate our expectations and remember to keep them in check and make them realistic. If we don't, we are in for much hurt feelings and disappointments. Learn to go with the flow!
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