The Love Bank

Not sure how this post will go. Mostly because I'm not sure how to explain the things heavy on my heart and mind but I'm going to try. 

In all relationships there is give and take. There is a constant deposit and with drawl from each person's internal love bank. This is true for every type of relationship...husband & wife, parent & child, friend to friend, and even in a sense employer & employee (tho this is not usually love or romantic in nature). Within all of these relationships there are investments made. - deposits made into an internal love bank. This can be done through words of encouragement such as "I love you", "I'm proud of you", "Great job" or "I'm here for you". It can also be done through deeds such as kisses, hugs, holding hands, doing a chore or other kindness, or rewards & awards. The point is that when we do one of the above or something similar, we make deposits into the other person's love bank. 

On the other hand, with drawls are made when an argument takes place, unkind & insensitive words are said, when ungrateful attitudes arise or when the deposits are withheld. Just as a checking or savings account can get overdrawn when there are too many with drawls and not enough deposits, it can also happen within relationships. Hurt comes. Forgiveness is easy when there have been more deposits than with drawls. 

If you leave the account depleted for too long the bank eventually closes the account. In relationships this is when trouble starts. It begins a vicious cycle that causes one or both people involved to quit trying. They stop trying or wanting to make deposits into the other person's love bank. I've seen this happen in every single one of the aforementioned relationships. In the business relationship it will cause friction in the work place and eventually lead to someone quitting or being fired. In friendships it causes anger, distrust, backbiting and a parting of ways. In parent/child relationships it can be very detrimental and have far reaching consequences even to several generations. Severe rebellion on part of the child can take place. There is often a parting of ways here, too. A child may refuse to be a part of the parent's life or allow their children to see the grandparent. In the marriage relationship it is also detrimental. Care of the other person stops. For the woman, she may stop taking care of the home or do anything for the husband such as cooking, cleaning, laundry or romantic areas. For the man, he may start spending more time at work, on the computer, in front of the tv or hanging with the guys and show little concern for the wife and her needs or desires. This leads to feelings being shut off. Affairs can take place because at the slightest attention from someone of the opposite sex suddenly feelings are then awakened. God made us social beings that long for companionship, for touch, and the need to feel wanted, desired and appreciated. 

All this can be avoided if there is consistent depositing into the love bank in all relationships. It is just a matter of being thoughtful and caring towards the other person. Yes! Even our children, parents, bosses, and employees. The marriage relationship is the most important of these however. 

I hope this will make anyone reading this to consider the truths I tried to bring forth. Keep love banks full with as many deposits as possible so that when an occasional with drawl must be made, it doesn't deplete the account and forgiveness can take place and amends made. 

Testimony is Everything

So many people have the attitude that they don't care what others think of them. They don't really care about their reputation in a church, town, family or whatever ---even Christians. I say that if you are a Christian you SHOULD care. Your testimony is everything! If others see you as one with a lack of honest or reliable character, or as someone who has weak faith in a God you claim to believe in, or you act in an unchristian type manner such as easily angered, using bad language, or being intoxicated, etc. then why would they listen when you try to talk to them about Jesus? When you do nothing but complain about your preacher, or about church members, why would someone you invite to church ever come? 

In the book of Daniel in chapter 6, people were trying to think of a way to file complaint against Daniel but were unable to do so because of his outstanding character. In verse 5 they even go so far as to say they know he is such an upstanding guy that they know the only thing they will ever be able to accuse him of would be about the law of his God. They knew he would be so faithful to the things of God that they would only be able to catch him on something by making up new laws that said it was wrong to worship his God. That's what they did knowing that Daniel would never go against what God says. Do other people know this about you? Do they know better than to try to tempt you to do wrong with them? Do they know better than to think you will miss church to do an activity with them? Is your testimony like Daniel's? What an awesome thing that Daniel was so completely faithful to the Lord and His commands that other people KNEW it about him. 

Your testimony or reputation in other words, is everything! What does your reputation tell others about you? 

Just something to ponder. 

Never Leave a Man Behind

Heard a preacher mention recently about how the military has a motto of "never leave a man behind". A thought came to me as soon as he said it that Christians should have that motto. 

First of all, we need to reach as many people for Christ as we can so that when the Rapture happens, no one is left behind. 

Second, Christians should help other Christians when they are down. "..Ye which are spiritual restore such an one in the spirit of meekness"... Don't leave them behind and not help them in their spiritual growth and just concentrate on your own spiritual growth. 

As the battle of life rages, it is so important that we as Christians never leave a man behind. --Not where heaven is concerned and not here on earth as each one of us deals with the chaos of life. 

Why We Care So Much

This has been rolling around in my head for some time now due to a comment made to me. Someone asked me why the pastor and pastor's wife or youth pastor and his wife care so much about what happens in their church member's life. It astounded me that the question was asked! Really?! Aren't we supposed to care? Aren't we commanded by God to care? It's quite frankly funny to have that attitude because some people leave a church saying that no one cares at the church. Yet, when we do check on them and why they are missing church, when we do try to help them in their walk with the Lord, when we reprove them over their sin (also commanded by God), they also get offended and say we are over bearing and in their business TOO much and sometimes leave the church. It is a double edged sword. 

Here's some help to understand why we care so much. Besides the command that we are supposed to, people enter ministry life to minister to others. This includes helping them in their spiritual growth, their mental state of mind, their physical needs, and to help them be all that they can be for the glory of God. When you see someone start skipping church, the warning bells go off in your heart and mind telling you that someone is headed for trouble. When you see them pushing lines or graying up lines that is commanded in Scripture, warning bells go off. When you see them participating in sinful things or allowing the world and worldly friends to influence them, warning bells go off. Your heart breaks because you do not want to see someone go through trials and heartaches that their decisions will most certainly bring. 

It is basically the same philosophy that goes along with parenthood. God gives this congregation of church members to your care.
It is your responsibility to teach them, reprove them, rebuke them, encourage them in life and in the Word of God, train them to be good and productive servants for the Lord, and to help one another. When your child messes up it grieves your heart to the very core. It is the same for those in leadership positions at the church. We lay in bed at night and cannot sleep because someone in their church is hurting physically, mentally, or spiritually.  

This is why we care so much! Also, the pastor will stand before God some day and give an account for how he lead. 

Just some helpful thoughts of why we seem to care and get in your business too much. 

I Have Been Blessed

I have been blessed. God's been so good to me. ... I heard this song on the way home from a youth rally we went to Saturday. I just bawled all the way through it..as usual. I have always cried during that song but ever since a ladies retreat a couple years ago, where right at the beginning of the conference they played this song and had different ladies come out on the platform holding up posters that said a trial they had gone through and then they would flip it over and it said how God had fixed that problem; I bawl! I'm telling you I could have left right then and been completely blessed and filled even before the speakers spoke. (Not that the whole conference wasn't great but it was an awesome start) 

On the way home during that song on Saturday I decided to post about how God has blessed me. I always do a month long daily post on facebook every November saying something I am thankful for.  But, I want to post about some divine interventions (which goes along with the sermon at the youth rally) that God has done throughout my life. They will not be in any particular order; just typing as they come to me.

Was a passenger in a car that was hit by a train -- survived

Was told I would not walk unaided for high school graduation -- was off crutches 2 days before graduation

Was told I would not be able to carry babies -- had 2 pregnancies & 2 children

Was saved as a bus kid -- became a pastor's wife

Was told my granddaughter had bilateral club feet invitro -- she was born without club feet

These are just a few of the biggies of how God has blessed and been so good to me. I just wanted to post about them. God truly is better to us than we deserve. I know certainly better than I deserve. I don't keep him in the front of my mind as much as I should. I am not as obedient in witnessing as I should be. I sin and make mistakes daily but He continues to forgive when I ask for it. He is soooo good.

Building Noah's Ark Series - Lesson 1

Noah's Spiritual Maturity - Gen. 6:9-14
I. Noah built the ark in the sunshine
- he prepared during the sunshine for the coming flood
- somewhere down the road we will have a flood - a crisis, a trial
So we need to prepare for it now while times are good
A. Prepare for financial trials
- set money aside in an ER fund - $500 to start but eventually 3 months of bills
B. Prepare for emotional trials
- read Bible daily & pray daily
- meditate on the Word & memorize scripture for future comfort & help
C. Prepare for health trials
- it is best to do what you can to avoid health problems - preventative is best for bodies, homes, cars, appliances
- take care of yourself by eating & drinking right & by exercise
***Remember - You are what you eat and you sag and bulge where you don't move!
D. Prepare for death
- make sure you are saved - your life is a vapor - we don't know how long we have
- make decisions now about your funeral & let others know
- have life insurance and/or a prepaid burial plan
- decide who will raise your kids
- have a will or a living trust
We don't know when a storm will come but it WILL come so prepare!

II. Noah let God shut the door - Gen. 7:6
- He took himself & his family & got on the ark & let God close the door but trusted God to open it again later
A. We don't have all the answers about life but we can trust the one who does
- Noah built the ark as God said
- He gathered the animals as God said
- He got on the ark as God said
- He watched the rain fall as God said
- He could believe God would open the door again as He said
B. Let God close doors for us
- follow God's will, let Him guide & direct us
I often pray "Lord open doors & close doors in the direction you'd have me to go."
- ignore the saying "When God closes a door come in through the window or kick down th door"
**When God closes the door - listen & wait until He opens it or a different door
- don't put your foot in the door to keep it open either

III. Noah thanked God - Gen. 8:13-20
- firsh thing Noah did when he got off the ark was build an altar to God and sacrifice to Him in thanksgiving
- This is the first mention of an altar being built to God
- 1 Thess. 5:18 - we are to give thanks for everything
God gives us blessings, we are alive because He allows it, He created us, He loves us
- even the trials, though they are hard to go through, are  a way to help us rely on Him and draw us closer to Him, to grow in Christian maturity or to affect others around us
We can learn and grow in our Christian walk from Noah. The ark was used to help save his life and his family's life but HE had to build it! In this series we will learn to build different arks to help us in our lives.

What Funerals Mean

This is a post that will just be sharing my heart...something therapeutic for me. I had a jam packed week last week. I drove up to Missouri on Monday morning to attend visitation for my Aunt Ruthie that died the week before. The funeral service was Tuesday. I then drove to my daughter's house because I was already planning on a visit there to paint the nursery for my grandson, Ronan that is coming in February and host a "next gender" shower on Saturday. 

The funeral visitation and services were held at Schrader's Funeral Home as nearly every relative on both sides of my family have done. I have been going to this place since I was 4 years old. I have grown to hate the place as it represents another person now missing from my life. As I stated, beginning at age 4 when my uncle died. All four of my grandparents, my dad, several aunts and uncles and distant relatives too, have had their funeral services held at Schrader's. 

For me, when someone from my dad's side of the family passes away, I feel another piece of my dad is now gone. It's like another connection to him is gone. This June 3 it will be 38 years since my dad passed so you would think it would get easier but it doesn't. Even though I may not see my aunts, uncles and cousins often anymore, I still love them all and have so many memories of growing up around them. My cousins were absolutely my best friends growing up...on both sides of my family. I spent an enormous amount of time with them. Spending the night, going to school, just hanging out. In all my youth, I only spent the night with a friend from school one time EVER and that was in jr. high! I spent the night with my cousins many, many times or spent evenings or days with them, playing, swimming, singing, laughing or whatever... and yes fighting and making up! This past week, I got to spend a little time catching up with a few. My mind was so filled with memories of my Aunt Ruthie and my cousins that I had a hard time focusing on the necessary tasks at hand but the Lord helped me still accomplish what needed done. 

Just because I need to express some of those memories, I'm going to talk about them now. 

1. Rabbit pancakes or baseball pancakes - regular round pancakes were called baseball pancakes and then she made ones in the shape of a rabbit. (without a mold! she made them by hand) And for some reason the rabbit pancakes tasted better to a kid!!! :) 
---along with that her homemade syrup
2. Poker games that sometimes went on all night at her house with my parents and some others playing which meant kids got to play
3. Eating cream cheese and saltine crackers when we came in from playing in the snow
4. Her love of Neil Diamond
5. Eating raw cookie dough as a snack (she would make a large batch of dough and roll it in wax paper and freeze it and take it out to thaw to eat or bake) Yes! I obviously survived that and never got sick! :)
6. Her sunbathing in the side yard on a blanket 
7. Her dog Tie
8. Being in the car with her and driving past the Wet Willie's water slide in Fenton when we overheard on the radio that Elvis had died
9. Her laugh
10. My bridal shower was at her house
11. Her telling me how hard it is to go on vacation to the beach with people who only want to shop and NOT go to the beach! ha ha
12. Her care and support of her kids

These are just a few things. She was a special lady and she will be missed.