Just Who Is Running the Show?

Been observing society lately. --- Both in public places such as stores and restaurants along with church and extended family. Some days I can't help but wonder who is running things in everyone's home. 

This can be a touchy subject. I reckon I was raised a certain way and was taught that the adults are in charge and have the authority. When I forgot that, I was reminded real quick with some sort of punishment and discipline. Those are two different things by the way! That being said, I am sure there were times I and my sister were allowed unknowingly to run the show. I suppose  all parents can be guilty at times of allowing the kids to run things. 

This needs explaining. When my parents told me to do something, it was done or there were consequences. When they said "no", I understood and there was no whining until I got what I wanted just to get me to be quiet or out of their hair. (there was a short time in late grade school when if I cried my dad would give in and we would go for a visit to my cousin's house...I believe this only happened because my dad actually didn't mind going for that visit or wanted to himself visit also) My parents were not constantly running me places or to activities just because I wanted it. I didn't get to choose the tv programs or radio stations in the living room. I could listen to music in my room but we never had more than one tv while growing up and Bob and I only have one now! However, every parent has been guilty of giving in because they don't want the argument. It just wasn't the norm at my house growing up, nor do I believe it was the norm while raising my kids.

When I was in high school (this was after my dad passed away) I ran track and cross country my freshman and sophomore years. My sister ran cross country her freshman year but then was in Poms after that. Outside of this, my mom was NOT running us here and there and all around the square to every shindig we wanted on a regular basis. In other words, my mom did not cater to my life's activities. She had her own activities and she was also taking care of the home while working. This did not make her an unkind, uncaring or unloving mother. Quite the contrary. My mom was the most giving person I have ever known. However, back then, children did not decide what was happening each night, which activities were taking place or which tv shows were being watched. And most assuredly parents weren't running around, spinning like a top trying to get each kid some place they each wanted to be. No wonder there is such a need for gasoline! lol 

I watch today as parents are doing nothing but budgeting their time around what each child in the home wants to do. This includes budgeting around church time and most of the time church loses!  Marriages are falling apart because there is no time for the grown ups to enjoy time together or go on a date or relaxing even. It is go, go, go around the kids' schedules. When and why did this happen in our society?!

Some of it comes out of feelings of guilt due to parents working so much. Some of it comes out of wanting to give children everything the adult missed out on including all the activities along with material things. Some of it comes from listening to society telling us that kids NEED activities to develop social skills. Baloney! Many of the social skills they are picking up at these activities are things that will cause you headache in the future with your children! Some of it comes from lazy parenting and not wanting to set boundaries. I don't reckon the reasons really matter. It needs fixing! I do not understand why a child needs to be on the go constantly. I do not understand why a child should get to be the one to choose what is watched on tv. Just to keep them quiet? I understand using the tv as a babysitter at times, but this should not be the constant. 

What are we teaching these young people? We are teaching them that what THEY want and what THEY think is all that matters. We are doing them an injustice because guess what, their future boss is not going to care! Their future spouse is going to need their own needs met also. This is why so many young people today can't hold a job. They can't take orders or do what is expected because they want to be in charge! We already have a generation that my generation in general raised up to not be able to handle it when things don't go their way. We currently have a generation of adults that need their safe room,  safe space, lapel pins, and time out areas just to cope with things when life doesn't happen the way they want. 

It is time that parents parent! It is time they be the ones in charge. It is time that boundaries are set. It is time to take time for marriages not just family activities or children's activities. It is time to teach. It is time to teach self control, consideration for others, that I am not the only person that matters, there are rules and consequences when the rules are broken, sometimes life isn't fair, sometimes life hurts, AND you don't always get everything you want! Parents need to let kids know that they were not put on this planet to serve and cater to their every whim!