First of all let me admit right up that at first my dander got up pretty quickly because it seems like we are being told you MUST do church OUR WAY or we refuse to come. Frankly, that's like a 2 year old tantrum and adults should be beyond that. But, the Holy Spirit worked on my heart to try to get something from these articles I can use for the furthering of the family of God. I'm going to try to take the most common points being made in the articles and address them individually.
It was somewhat confusing because on one hand we are being told that church must be REAL, and without a watered down gospel, with authentic godly example displayed before them without fakeness, more showing and being of Jesus than of preaching, less Bible, less tradition (except the Lord's Supper), less focus on finances and more social justice ministry, more asking of young to be involved and for their opinion, more teaching of how to live and deal with a chaotic world, someone to mentor them in small groups or one on one, and clear visual messages. WOW! Aren't some of those contradictory to one another?! Oh, and more nature brought into the building or possibly holding study groups outdoors.
Ok, let's start with being REAL. I get that there are churches out there that seem haughty and pretentious but it's been my experience that when you ask someone why they get out of church; often the answer is that they see someone in a leadership position being human and making mistakes and think that person is now a hypocrite and so they no longer have a need for church. I'm sorry for those who have experienced someone with a holier than thou attitude being caught in a mistake and not being humble or owning up but that's not a reason to leave church. Maybe leave THAT church but God's Word says church is important and not to forsake the assembling together. People crack me up, they will still go to places of business even after being treated poorly yet will not return to a church because someone makes a mistake. Guess what?! Humans make mistakes---even the best of them. That's what forgiveness is for! Funny to me how everyone spouts about being forgiving when someone outside church messes up yet do not want to be forgiving towards anyone within the church. Ok so Real, not pretentious. Surely, there's a church out there somewhere that fits the profile there. One bad experience in one church does not make all churches bad. Find one and Go!
No watered down gospel. Hmm, how do you pull that off with less Bible? So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God. Romans 10:17 The gospel----the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Maybe by less Bible it is meant only focus on the gospel and leave the rest of God's Word alone. Hmm, 2 Timothy 4:2 - Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine. I'm not at all sure how you teach someone to live in a chaotic world without the Word of God. He gave us an instruction manual. If you are in a good Bible preaching and teaching church, sermons should be taking care of "how to live in this chaotic world". Pay attention and apply what is preached! If that's not happening at your church---find one where it is happening. By the way, teaching how to live in a chaotic world CANNOT come through only preaching Jesus loves you and died for you! There is much more to the Christian walk than salvation!
Less tradition. I'm pretty sure that means less old fashioned. To each his own. There are plenty of churches out there with contemporary style services. However, I'd like to point out that all tradition is not bad----how many do Christmas trees, stockings, presents, Easter egg hunts, gather with family for certain holidays, shoot fireworks on July 4th, etc.? Holding to traditions that go against God's Word is bad.
Less focus on finances and more social justice ministry. I'm pretty sure one cannot exist without the other! It takes money to help others. It takes money to keep a church going. ---to pay utilities, to pay a pastor, to have activities, to make the building nice and presentable, to purchase teaching materials for classes, etc. One article actually said there isn't enough accountability on spending and that "why should we be expected to give our hard earned money to causes we have no interest in"? Well, first of all there should be accountability. That's what business meetings are for! I'd say the writer of that particular article had a bad experience where there may have been some mishandling of funds and shame on those who did it. Here's the thing, you should be attending a church where you trust those in leadership to make right choices for the church, the furtherance of God's Work on earth, and not to abuse or misuse funds. If you do not trust, then you are not in the right church. The fact of the matter is, until you know there has been a problem, God says give. He doesn't say give only if you can control what happens afterward. Just like a woman is to submit to her husband whether he deserves it or not and like a husband is to love his wife whether she deserves it or not. If you question what the money is being spent on, show up for a monthly, or quarterly business meeting and find out! Most churches allow you the right to ask questions or see a break down of where the money is going.
More asking of young's opinions and involvement. Well, volunteer! Open your mouth during a discussion. I do not know of any pastor or associate pastor who would EVER turn down someone asking to help!!!! We in ministry leadership crave it!!! We want ideas. We want your input. On the other hand, you can't expect church to be only about your wants and desires. You are not the only person or group within the church. Guess what! You also have to be present to give your opinion or get involved. We can't ask your vacant seat!!! We don't have a lot of young in our church but I'm pretty sure that if you asked those who are here to honestly answer if they are valued and their opinion matters, they'd have to answer yes. If you are going to be timid and never open your mouth, no one will ever know your opinions or what contributions you can offer.
Mentoring. I'm all for this one. However, it's hard to mentor or disciple someone who isn't willing to be. There were good ideas mentioned about this one and I plan on trying to invest better. One on one is harder to pull off with people because lives are so busy these days. Small groups are what men's meetings and women's bible studies are all about. They are (in our church) lessons and discussions around the Bible. They are a great resource for fellowship and getting to know people better. At our church we also have a mentoring program called Rubies in the Rough which is designed to teach girls and ladies of all ages practical skills to use now or in the future for running a home. We have covered cooking, sewing, crafts, cake decorating, and coming soon, first aid. Most churches need help in the area of mentoring. I hope young people will help those doing the mentoring to know they WANT to be mentored and in what way they'd like it to happen. It isn't going to happen if you are not in church at all.
Clear visual messages. This one had clear and valid points. I hope to consider it more in depth. It truly is a fact that the current generation of young adults is motivated by the visual. (almost to the point of being over stimulated) -- but, science has proven that visuals aid in learning. Most people are visual learners and I agree that many churches do not utilize this enough. We do with children but never realize that adults like visual, too. Now, one of the things mentioned was that there needs to be better signage of what to do and where to go because church should be stress free and when you have to ask, it causes stress. When I read this explained I almost laughed but then realized that is what this generation is. They lack people skills face to face. They prefer to text or email or message someone on Facebook and when they have to deal face to face or talk with people they become nervous or stressed. Teens often text their parents from their rooms rather than go in and talk to them. It seems very strange to me but hey, if better signage would help get more of them in the door and returning back for second visits then, I'm all for that!
Ok, I think I've pretty much addressed the things that they say they want. Now, I'd like to address blame. Over and over, I read that the church is to blame for why young adults leave churches once they are no longer in the teen department or youth department. I have seen it for many years and it is true there is a phenomenon. Mostly, it is because the average church is not large enough or funded enough to have college age classes and activities. Many do not have the resources for young couples classes either. I suppose that some of the blame is the church when they are too focused on fun and not enough on grounding teens in the Word and instilling that the Christian life is a heart issue. I think we should as a church do better, however, I'd like to point out that at best the church gets the teen 4 hours a week (and that's if the parent is present for Sunday school, morning service, evening service and Wednesday evening) and maybe more if there is an activity. School, parents and the world get them the rest of the time! It is pretty hard to compete with that ratio. I think the Millennial's parents are more to blame than the church. Yes, you can find examples of those who were severely hurt within a church and that played out in the life of the young adult and made them walk away. But, in my research and observation over the years, it mostly falls to parents not living at home the persona they give at church. It is inconsistency in the home and in church attendance. When a child or teen sees that the parent does not make church a priority, or bible reading or prayer time, the child sees no reason to commit. When they see the parent living opposite of what is preached or when the parent tears down the authority of the church in front of the child, they lose respect for the leadership and the church. And, as soon as they are calling the shots, they are gone from the church. It is heartbreaking.
It is a dilemma and needs to be figured out. Surely, we can figure out how to reach out and get this group back into serving in a church without compromising God's Word. It can't be all one way though. You don't get to make all the demands and say "or else". The fact of the matter is that being pleasing to God means involvement in a local organized church. Find one and be the part you want to see in others! A healthy church has all ages and we should not focus just on any one particular group.
Oh, one more thing, it's pretty safe to say that you won't find every aspect you want in a church. And, quite frankly, you will not likely find some of those aspects without compromising Bible. Which is more important? A place where you "feel" something and want no hypocrisy and all things your way or a place standing firmly on preaching and teaching the truth of God's Word where you can grow in your daily Christian walk?
If you are a Millennial and out of church as you read this post, I hope it made you think and you will consider actively looking for a church to serve in. If you are a leader in a church, I hope this post will help you with ideas of what Millennials say is missing and that they are looking for. Our churches are going to die without reaching everyone we can. There's nothing wrong with trying something new as long as it's not contrary to God's Word.
1 comment:
We certainly need to work harder to reach every age group. It seems odd that for generations, styles and fads have changed, and music has changed. And for generations God's people saw the need to change our ways and separate from worldliness. Suddenly we see this generation that says "we won't come if you don't cater to OUR ways. I understand that this is a reality we have to deal with and we can't give up on them, but it highlights what you said about their raising. I don't know that anything will revert back to the way it was. Part of the problem also, may be the movement that is common these days involving high energy 24/7 "on the go" youth groups. What hoe does the average pastor have to compete with that?
Good post.
Bob
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