Bob recently taught (part of a message) on the differences in what women & men want from a relationship. He elaborated on that women generally (when polled) want to know they are loved unconditionally while men want a wife to respect them. How interesting this is when God in His Word places commandments concerning these very two things! Husbands are commanded to love their wife (Eph. 5:24) and wives are commanded to reverence their husband (Eph. 5:33) In other words, respect!
I thought I would post some things to make ladies think about whether or not they have been respecting their husband. Often times things we do or say can actually be disrespecting our husband and we do not even realize it.
I cannot take credit for all of the things I will mention because I have sat under some good speakers and teachers from which I have gleaned wisdom. I often am reminded of these because I am sometimes guilty of some of the things I will mention. So, this is a good reminder for me too!
One of the biggies is do not second guess or question his decisions (especially in public). When you do this, the man feels as though you do not trust him or that you do not think he is smart enough to handle a situation. They are commanded in scripture to be the leader and caregiver and provider of the home, wife and children. If you feel there is a mistake being made, approach the subject with caution after you feel he can be approached and at an appropriate time. Think about it ladies, when you are making a mistake in the rearing of your child at the moment, do you like one of your lady friends to point it out at that given moment? No! We will be more receptive after the urgent moment has passed. Now, sometimes it is necessary to correct immediately but this should not be a thing that happens regularly or often. Usually, my rule of thumb is to ask Bob if he has prayed about a thing or situation. If he tells me yes, then I submit to his authority or leadership whether I agree or not and then I pray for God to help Bob in that decision or change his mind if it is not good for us. Prayer changes people and situations!
Do not, DO NOT, say to your kids "Don't tell Dad about this"!!! (Unless it is a surprise for him) You are teaching your kids that you in a sense want to lead, that what he doesn't know won't hurt him, that he is not worth respecting as the leader of the home, and you are undermining his authority with them. This also teaches them to be sneaky and underhanded and that it is you and them against him. Also, if you teach them this, it will eventually teach them to be sneaky with you too!
Do not be critical of him to others. This is especially important to ladies who have husbands in ministry positions (paid or unpaid - ex. Deacons, Youth Pastors, Sunday School teachers). They are leaders over certain groups and when you are critical it shows others that you do not respect him. Then why should they follow or listen when he tries to teach or counsel?
Do not imply or make reference that he does not supply enough money to take care of you. Sometimes situations and life circumstances cause financial burdens and stress but sometimes we just need to buckle down and not spend! Men generally like to feel they are good providers. Maybe you don't get to have all you want but do you have all you actually need? When push comes to shove, you will be surprised how much longer a car, couch, washer, dishwasher or clothing can hold out until you are more stable financially.
Never NEVER compare him to another man (as though he isn't as good or physically fit or romantic) even if it is a celebrity. Do you want to be compared to Jennifer Aniston or
Taylor Swift or Sandra Bullock? Or do you want to be compared to you sister or friend who is a better housekeeper or cook? Nuff Said!
Welp, I think that is enough things to get your mind thinking and heart convicted about your words and actions. Hope this helps you realize if you are guilty of not respecting your husband. If you are guilty --- make it right. Apologize! It will make for a sweet night at your house!
September 29, 2014
September 10, 2014
What's Your Super Power?
Have you seen those t-shirts that are out there that say..."I'm a ________, what's your super power"? Well, I want one that says "I'm a Preacher's Wife. What's Your Super Power?"
What does it mean to be a preacher's wife? In no particular order, it means you are the master multi-tasker, emotion hider (put a smile on despite the circumstances), prayer warrior, counselor, husband/pastor encourager, role model, teacher of children, teacher of women, criticism taker, event organizer & coordinator, peacemaker, sermon & letter proof reader, and still keeper of the home and all that goes with it.
I'm sure I have forgotten a few hundred things but I think you get the picture that a lot of responsibility comes with the title. I have had a five month break from the role but am beginning again to take on that responsibility. I love the role but am not ignorant to what comes with it. I have over 10 years practice. I hope I am improving as the years go by.
We are headed back to Cleveland, Oklahoma and Grace Baptist Church (Bob's first pastorate). We have spiritually and geographically come full circle. We left Missouri in Feb. 2003 to begin life in the ministry in Oklahoma, after 3 years we moved to Heber Springs, Arkansas for Bob to become the associate pastor and learn and gain experience without going to Bible college, after 1 1/2 years we were sent out of that church to start Rock Solid Baptist Church in Cuba, Missouri. After 7 years the church closed and we are now headed back to Cleveland. So, spiritually and on the map we made a circle.
Bob and I are excited about this opportunity that God has provided. I pray that we be found worthy of the work God has placed us over. It is hard to leave family and friends in our home state but serving the Lord is the only way we know. God has paved the way there and has provided a job and income after we tried to do it our own way and stay where we wanted. Truth is, I was the hold up on moving back there quite some time ago, but that is another story for another post.
Welp, I have explained my Super Power (from God mind you), what is yours? I DO plan to have a t-shirt made!
What does it mean to be a preacher's wife? In no particular order, it means you are the master multi-tasker, emotion hider (put a smile on despite the circumstances), prayer warrior, counselor, husband/pastor encourager, role model, teacher of children, teacher of women, criticism taker, event organizer & coordinator, peacemaker, sermon & letter proof reader, and still keeper of the home and all that goes with it.
I'm sure I have forgotten a few hundred things but I think you get the picture that a lot of responsibility comes with the title. I have had a five month break from the role but am beginning again to take on that responsibility. I love the role but am not ignorant to what comes with it. I have over 10 years practice. I hope I am improving as the years go by.
We are headed back to Cleveland, Oklahoma and Grace Baptist Church (Bob's first pastorate). We have spiritually and geographically come full circle. We left Missouri in Feb. 2003 to begin life in the ministry in Oklahoma, after 3 years we moved to Heber Springs, Arkansas for Bob to become the associate pastor and learn and gain experience without going to Bible college, after 1 1/2 years we were sent out of that church to start Rock Solid Baptist Church in Cuba, Missouri. After 7 years the church closed and we are now headed back to Cleveland. So, spiritually and on the map we made a circle.
Bob and I are excited about this opportunity that God has provided. I pray that we be found worthy of the work God has placed us over. It is hard to leave family and friends in our home state but serving the Lord is the only way we know. God has paved the way there and has provided a job and income after we tried to do it our own way and stay where we wanted. Truth is, I was the hold up on moving back there quite some time ago, but that is another story for another post.
Welp, I have explained my Super Power (from God mind you), what is yours? I DO plan to have a t-shirt made!
August 22, 2014
Gluten Free Oatmeal Brownies
Now let me say right off this recipe is still full of calories but I discovered today that you can make them sugar free using Stevia in the Raw powder. They taste great with sugar or with the Stevia!
Ingredients:
2 sticks butter
2 c. sugar, molasses or Stevia powder
4 eggs
1/2 t. vanilla or orange extract (I prefer the orange because they will taste like orange chocolate truffles)
1/2 c. cocoa powder
1/2 t. salt
1/8 t. baking soda
1/4 t. cream of tartar
1 c. oat flour (you can make your own in the food processor or blender!)
1/2 - 1 c. nuts (optional)
Preaheat oven to 325. Coat 9X13 pan with cooking spray or grease.
Melt butter in large saucepan over low heat. When completely melted, remove from stove. Beat in sugar or Stevia. Add eggs & choice of extract. Beat til glossy & smooth. Add cocoa, salt, soda, cream of tartar, & oat flour. Add nuts. Put in pan and bake for exactly 30 mins. Cool slightly and cut into squares.
***Check on them after about 25 minutes. If they are pulling away from pan at edges and middle seems set then go ahead and pull them at that point instead of waiting the 30 min. They will get too hard at edges if you do not.
Ingredients:
2 sticks butter
2 c. sugar, molasses or Stevia powder
4 eggs
1/2 t. vanilla or orange extract (I prefer the orange because they will taste like orange chocolate truffles)
1/2 c. cocoa powder
1/2 t. salt
1/8 t. baking soda
1/4 t. cream of tartar
1 c. oat flour (you can make your own in the food processor or blender!)
1/2 - 1 c. nuts (optional)
Preaheat oven to 325. Coat 9X13 pan with cooking spray or grease.
Melt butter in large saucepan over low heat. When completely melted, remove from stove. Beat in sugar or Stevia. Add eggs & choice of extract. Beat til glossy & smooth. Add cocoa, salt, soda, cream of tartar, & oat flour. Add nuts. Put in pan and bake for exactly 30 mins. Cool slightly and cut into squares.
***Check on them after about 25 minutes. If they are pulling away from pan at edges and middle seems set then go ahead and pull them at that point instead of waiting the 30 min. They will get too hard at edges if you do not.
The Mary & Martha Point
Wow! August has been an extremely busy month! I can't believe this is my first post for the month and it is already the 22nd! So much is going on and there just hasn't been time to put thoughts into type lately. Gardening, babysitting Amelia, teaching children's church, and going to Oklahoma for Bob to candidate at a church where he had his first pastorate has been using all my computer time. Also, we had our cell service down for almost two weeks which meant having to drive up the road to make calls or send texts!!! Anyhoo, that is just a light catch up for my life.
Have been thinking lately and heard a sermon about the story of Mary and Martha. Not the one where their brother Lazarus dies but the one where Jesus comes to their house to visit. Mary sits at Jesus' feet and worships and listens while Martha is "cumbered about" doing things and making everything just right because Jesus is coming and is there. She gets upset that Mary is not helping her and even asks Jesus about it and tells him to tell Mary to help her. Jesus replies that (paraphrasing) she is too worried about the serving and that Mary has chosen to do the one thing that is needful...to choose to worship him.
I have heard lots of lessons on this passage from ladies at retreats or meetings and have heard preachers preach on it too. I think lots of applications can be made and learned from the passage. However, one thing that I think is overlooked as a point to be made and learned, that I don't think I have ever heard taught, is this...If you are going to serve and do for the Lord, then just do it. Do it with a humble and serving heart and do it heartily as to the Lord and not to impress people around you. Don't worry about what others are doing and how they are serving...Just serve!
It is easy to allow ourselves to get "weary in well doing" and gripe because "no one else is helping" in this area or that area. ---Been there! I believe we are all guilty of this at some point once in awhile. But this poor and prideful (yes prideful) attitude will rob us of rewards and will also create anger and bitterness in our hearts. It will also cause us to not give our 100% in the area we are serving. We may start doing with a half-hearted will and the fruit of our work will then show this half-hearted attitude. Not as much time and effort will go into cleaning, teaching, cutting the grass, or even door knocking.
In reality, scripture tells us to do all to the Glory of God and to do all heartily as to the Lord. It doesn't matter what others are doing. Just do it!! Your reward depends upon you and your attitude!
Have been thinking lately and heard a sermon about the story of Mary and Martha. Not the one where their brother Lazarus dies but the one where Jesus comes to their house to visit. Mary sits at Jesus' feet and worships and listens while Martha is "cumbered about" doing things and making everything just right because Jesus is coming and is there. She gets upset that Mary is not helping her and even asks Jesus about it and tells him to tell Mary to help her. Jesus replies that (paraphrasing) she is too worried about the serving and that Mary has chosen to do the one thing that is needful...to choose to worship him.
I have heard lots of lessons on this passage from ladies at retreats or meetings and have heard preachers preach on it too. I think lots of applications can be made and learned from the passage. However, one thing that I think is overlooked as a point to be made and learned, that I don't think I have ever heard taught, is this...If you are going to serve and do for the Lord, then just do it. Do it with a humble and serving heart and do it heartily as to the Lord and not to impress people around you. Don't worry about what others are doing and how they are serving...Just serve!
July 31, 2014
Broken Pieces
When I was reading in my Bible this morning, I was in the passage in Acts where Paul is being taken to Rome for judgement and the ship is wrecked near the island of Mileta. I read the verse that told the men who could swim to jump ship and head to land and then the rest clinged to boards and broken pieces of the ship and all made it safely to shore. It struck me as I read, that often times it is the broken pieces we cling to that get us through. Sometimes they can be our life line, our buoy that keeps us afloat.
When things in our lives are shattered, sometimes all we can do is pick up those pieces and start trying to put them back together. This alone can help distract us from the tragedy of the moment and help to stabilize us for a time. Some of those pieces may be pictures, memories, possessions, treasured keepsakes, relationships, etc. Clinging to these can help our hearts and minds to heal as we go about our daily lives. When my mom died three years ago, pictures, memories in my mind, letters and cards in her handwriting, home movies were and are some of the things I cling to that help keep me afloat. I also have my niece Amelia that is a joy to be around but also is bitter sweet because I often watch her and think how much my mom would have loved her. Staying busy with day to day chores help to keep me afloat as Bob and I wait out this time he must be away to work. I feel very broken these days but have ever since April. Even though life has gone on (as it always does no matter how badly you want it to stop for awhile), I still don't feel quite stabilized and like my feet are back under me firmly. I still feel a little lost but I am doing my best to rely on the firm foundation of God and His Word. Still, clinging to the broken pieces floating around my life helps me.
Another thing I'd like to address is that broken pieces of anything can sometimes be sharp and dangerous and possibly even be something to let go of and not cling to so that you don't have further breakage in your life. We must decide what things are worth hanging on to and what things are not. Sometimes this decision is hard. People for the most part do not like major change. ...Even though we women do get bored with ourselves and our houses and routines at times and go for the makeovers or rearranging the house or whatever, we still don't like change that comes suddenly and that we haven't chosen!
If you have recently had some shattering in your life, cling to the things that help keep you afloat.
When things in our lives are shattered, sometimes all we can do is pick up those pieces and start trying to put them back together. This alone can help distract us from the tragedy of the moment and help to stabilize us for a time. Some of those pieces may be pictures, memories, possessions, treasured keepsakes, relationships, etc. Clinging to these can help our hearts and minds to heal as we go about our daily lives. When my mom died three years ago, pictures, memories in my mind, letters and cards in her handwriting, home movies were and are some of the things I cling to that help keep me afloat. I also have my niece Amelia that is a joy to be around but also is bitter sweet because I often watch her and think how much my mom would have loved her. Staying busy with day to day chores help to keep me afloat as Bob and I wait out this time he must be away to work. I feel very broken these days but have ever since April. Even though life has gone on (as it always does no matter how badly you want it to stop for awhile), I still don't feel quite stabilized and like my feet are back under me firmly. I still feel a little lost but I am doing my best to rely on the firm foundation of God and His Word. Still, clinging to the broken pieces floating around my life helps me.
Another thing I'd like to address is that broken pieces of anything can sometimes be sharp and dangerous and possibly even be something to let go of and not cling to so that you don't have further breakage in your life. We must decide what things are worth hanging on to and what things are not. Sometimes this decision is hard. People for the most part do not like major change. ...Even though we women do get bored with ourselves and our houses and routines at times and go for the makeovers or rearranging the house or whatever, we still don't like change that comes suddenly and that we haven't chosen!
If you have recently had some shattering in your life, cling to the things that help keep you afloat.
July 27, 2014
My Current Journey's Dash
Just wanted to blog about what is going on with me lately. Regular readers (which are few - some may wonder why I even bother with this blog since I do have such few followers but it is an outlet for me...that's all I can say) anyhoo, those who do follow know that there has been alot happening in our lives since April. We closed our church, started attending another church in the area until we understand God's Will for our next step, and spent time grieving this and trying to press forward. There was alot to do to empty the church building and finalize the closing. Because the church closed, we lost almost half our monthly income. We were given something as sort of a severance pay that helped keep us going until recently. Because we are in somewhat of a different situation than the average person who just lost a job...Bob couldn't just go get another secular job to replace the church income. Bob is burdened to be in the ministry and serving God in a pastoral capacity. This means he must find a way to earn money and still have time to apply at and candidate at churches that are seeking pastors. He MUST have this freedom. He didn't want to get a job and quit right away if a church called him as pastor or be tied down so that he couldn't have time off to candidate. He is an electrical lineman by trade and decided to go back to doing line work through contracted union labor. This means leaving home and going on the road traveling wherever the work is. He is currently 10 hours away from me in Ohio. It was 2 weeks yesterday since he left. The good thing about it is that the pay is good and will help us get back on our feet and caught up on bills AND it is easy to just decide to quit and go home when he feels it has been long enough or if a church calls him. That is how lineman contract work is. People come and go from jobs on a regular basis and as long as you keep your "dues" paid up, you can accept or decline work as it is offered. It gives you some freedom and good pay. The drawback is the being away from home and the usually always long hours. He is currently working 10 hours a day 6 days a week!
Of course, military wives, truckers' wives and oil workers' wives also deal with those same issues of husbands being gone, so I am not trying to "boohoo" here, just going to write about what this is like for us. Military wives being the ones whose job is the hardest for it is for much longer periods of time than the others and with less contact by phone or mail or whatever too. Often they are in another country on the other side of the world. I applaud you for your sacrifice of giving them up for my safety! (clap clap clap)
It is hard bearing all the load and burdens on the home front when a husband is gone. You cling to the idea of when they get back and that helps you get through each day. And IT IS day by day!!! If kids are there it can be in some ways easier because they are a daily distraction but it also means you assume full responsibility of their care...24/7. If you are an empty-nester (as I am) there is more lonely time to fill.
You are taking over the "home duties and responsibilities" that the husband normally does. ...grass cutting, car maintenance, trash, home repairs, (and for me taking care of our large garden and harvesting it), etc. This may mean doing it yourself or being responsible to find someone else do it. It can become overwhelming when added to your normal daily chores that most women have. There is less laundry and less cooking meals so that burden gets cut as you take on the new ones.
Staying busy doing things helps to pass the time. When I stay idle too long I get sad and cry. I spend alot of time praying and asking God to keep Bob safe, his back and knees healthy and bring him home to me safe and sound asap. Line work is dangerous. You need the other people you are working with to be conscious of what they are doing and to KNOW what they are doing or you can get seriously hurt or killed.
The longer the husband is away, the bigger adjustment to daily life when he returns. It may be hard to understand but that is the way it is. You are both sooo happy to be together again but you both have gotten used to being alone and doing things in your own little ways and dealing with things and it just takes some adjustment to get acclimated again. For instance, the woman has had to make many daily decisions on her own without him. It may be hard to step back and let him take over the head reigns again if you do not work at it. It may take time to get used to sleeping in the same bed again after a long period of time (even tho you have waited and waited for that) because you have started sleeping stretched out all over the place.
I'm just stating facts here that are the way it is often times. I'm not trying to boohoo or complain or say it can't be done. It has been done by me before and by many others now and in the past. I'm just letting those who have never gone through it understand how it is and what it is like.
If you know someone who is going through this, please be understanding and lend an ear, a hand or just a respite out. Call and check on them so they don't feel so alone. Just wanted to talk about what is going on here and give some insight into what life is like when a husband has to be gone.
Of course, military wives, truckers' wives and oil workers' wives also deal with those same issues of husbands being gone, so I am not trying to "boohoo" here, just going to write about what this is like for us. Military wives being the ones whose job is the hardest for it is for much longer periods of time than the others and with less contact by phone or mail or whatever too. Often they are in another country on the other side of the world. I applaud you for your sacrifice of giving them up for my safety! (clap clap clap)
It is hard bearing all the load and burdens on the home front when a husband is gone. You cling to the idea of when they get back and that helps you get through each day. And IT IS day by day!!! If kids are there it can be in some ways easier because they are a daily distraction but it also means you assume full responsibility of their care...24/7. If you are an empty-nester (as I am) there is more lonely time to fill.
You are taking over the "home duties and responsibilities" that the husband normally does. ...grass cutting, car maintenance, trash, home repairs, (and for me taking care of our large garden and harvesting it), etc. This may mean doing it yourself or being responsible to find someone else do it. It can become overwhelming when added to your normal daily chores that most women have. There is less laundry and less cooking meals so that burden gets cut as you take on the new ones.
Staying busy doing things helps to pass the time. When I stay idle too long I get sad and cry. I spend alot of time praying and asking God to keep Bob safe, his back and knees healthy and bring him home to me safe and sound asap. Line work is dangerous. You need the other people you are working with to be conscious of what they are doing and to KNOW what they are doing or you can get seriously hurt or killed.
The longer the husband is away, the bigger adjustment to daily life when he returns. It may be hard to understand but that is the way it is. You are both sooo happy to be together again but you both have gotten used to being alone and doing things in your own little ways and dealing with things and it just takes some adjustment to get acclimated again. For instance, the woman has had to make many daily decisions on her own without him. It may be hard to step back and let him take over the head reigns again if you do not work at it. It may take time to get used to sleeping in the same bed again after a long period of time (even tho you have waited and waited for that) because you have started sleeping stretched out all over the place.
I'm just stating facts here that are the way it is often times. I'm not trying to boohoo or complain or say it can't be done. It has been done by me before and by many others now and in the past. I'm just letting those who have never gone through it understand how it is and what it is like.
If you know someone who is going through this, please be understanding and lend an ear, a hand or just a respite out. Call and check on them so they don't feel so alone. Just wanted to talk about what is going on here and give some insight into what life is like when a husband has to be gone.
July 15, 2014
Influences
Just wanted to post about the influences surrounding us. Everyone has things and people that influence them. Everyone is an influence to others whether they want to or not and whether they realize it or not. You are always influencing for good or for wrong.
The Bible says: Romans 14:7 For none of us liveth to himself, and no man dieth to himself.
This verse tells us that we all have an affect on others around us.
This is why it is so important to protect ourselves from wicked influences. It is important to protect our eyes and ears and mind from what is taken in.
This is also why it is important to have a good testimony and be careful how we walk and talk and even dress. We are influencing others. For some people we are the only Bible they currently know. We are the only representative of God or Christ that another may know. If they see you living in sin, fretting over life's situations or being careless in our words, they will have a negative view of Christians and God. That is why so many people think that churches are full of hypocrits. --Because they SEE and HEAR them acting, talking, or living incorrectly to God's Word.
Children surely learn what they see in the adults around them. If they see and hear criticism of others they learn to be critical. If they see and hear negative view points all the time that is what they learn to focus on. If they see and hear parents praying, reading their Bible and statements about trusting God for the future and for daily provision they will grow up learning to do those things as well.
By the same token, if an adult surrounds themselves with people who are negative and gripe and complain about everything they soon learn to be the same way. Attitudes and moods are catching! Don't believe me?...See how fast a household gets out of whack when Momma is in a bad mood!
Just a post to remind you to be careful of the influences you allow near yourself and to be careful of the influence you are having on others around you.
The Bible says: Romans 14:7 For none of us liveth to himself, and no man dieth to himself.
This verse tells us that we all have an affect on others around us.
This is why it is so important to protect ourselves from wicked influences. It is important to protect our eyes and ears and mind from what is taken in.
This is also why it is important to have a good testimony and be careful how we walk and talk and even dress. We are influencing others. For some people we are the only Bible they currently know. We are the only representative of God or Christ that another may know. If they see you living in sin, fretting over life's situations or being careless in our words, they will have a negative view of Christians and God. That is why so many people think that churches are full of hypocrits. --Because they SEE and HEAR them acting, talking, or living incorrectly to God's Word.
Children surely learn what they see in the adults around them. If they see and hear criticism of others they learn to be critical. If they see and hear negative view points all the time that is what they learn to focus on. If they see and hear parents praying, reading their Bible and statements about trusting God for the future and for daily provision they will grow up learning to do those things as well.
By the same token, if an adult surrounds themselves with people who are negative and gripe and complain about everything they soon learn to be the same way. Attitudes and moods are catching! Don't believe me?...See how fast a household gets out of whack when Momma is in a bad mood!
Just a post to remind you to be careful of the influences you allow near yourself and to be careful of the influence you are having on others around you.
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