The Love Bank

Not sure how this post will go. Mostly because I'm not sure how to explain the things heavy on my heart and mind but I'm going to try. 

In all relationships there is give and take. There is a constant deposit and with drawl from each person's internal love bank. This is true for every type of relationship...husband & wife, parent & child, friend to friend, and even in a sense employer & employee (tho this is not usually love or romantic in nature). Within all of these relationships there are investments made. - deposits made into an internal love bank. This can be done through words of encouragement such as "I love you", "I'm proud of you", "Great job" or "I'm here for you". It can also be done through deeds such as kisses, hugs, holding hands, doing a chore or other kindness, or rewards & awards. The point is that when we do one of the above or something similar, we make deposits into the other person's love bank. 

On the other hand, with drawls are made when an argument takes place, unkind & insensitive words are said, when ungrateful attitudes arise or when the deposits are withheld. Just as a checking or savings account can get overdrawn when there are too many with drawls and not enough deposits, it can also happen within relationships. Hurt comes. Forgiveness is easy when there have been more deposits than with drawls. 

If you leave the account depleted for too long the bank eventually closes the account. In relationships this is when trouble starts. It begins a vicious cycle that causes one or both people involved to quit trying. They stop trying or wanting to make deposits into the other person's love bank. I've seen this happen in every single one of the aforementioned relationships. In the business relationship it will cause friction in the work place and eventually lead to someone quitting or being fired. In friendships it causes anger, distrust, backbiting and a parting of ways. In parent/child relationships it can be very detrimental and have far reaching consequences even to several generations. Severe rebellion on part of the child can take place. There is often a parting of ways here, too. A child may refuse to be a part of the parent's life or allow their children to see the grandparent. In the marriage relationship it is also detrimental. Care of the other person stops. For the woman, she may stop taking care of the home or do anything for the husband such as cooking, cleaning, laundry or romantic areas. For the man, he may start spending more time at work, on the computer, in front of the tv or hanging with the guys and show little concern for the wife and her needs or desires. This leads to feelings being shut off. Affairs can take place because at the slightest attention from someone of the opposite sex suddenly feelings are then awakened. God made us social beings that long for companionship, for touch, and the need to feel wanted, desired and appreciated. 

All this can be avoided if there is consistent depositing into the love bank in all relationships. It is just a matter of being thoughtful and caring towards the other person. Yes! Even our children, parents, bosses, and employees. The marriage relationship is the most important of these however. 

I hope this will make anyone reading this to consider the truths I tried to bring forth. Keep love banks full with as many deposits as possible so that when an occasional with drawl must be made, it doesn't deplete the account and forgiveness can take place and amends made. 

Testimony is Everything

So many people have the attitude that they don't care what others think of them. They don't really care about their reputation in a church, town, family or whatever ---even Christians. I say that if you are a Christian you SHOULD care. Your testimony is everything! If others see you as one with a lack of honest or reliable character, or as someone who has weak faith in a God you claim to believe in, or you act in an unchristian type manner such as easily angered, using bad language, or being intoxicated, etc. then why would they listen when you try to talk to them about Jesus? When you do nothing but complain about your preacher, or about church members, why would someone you invite to church ever come? 

In the book of Daniel in chapter 6, people were trying to think of a way to file complaint against Daniel but were unable to do so because of his outstanding character. In verse 5 they even go so far as to say they know he is such an upstanding guy that they know the only thing they will ever be able to accuse him of would be about the law of his God. They knew he would be so faithful to the things of God that they would only be able to catch him on something by making up new laws that said it was wrong to worship his God. That's what they did knowing that Daniel would never go against what God says. Do other people know this about you? Do they know better than to try to tempt you to do wrong with them? Do they know better than to think you will miss church to do an activity with them? Is your testimony like Daniel's? What an awesome thing that Daniel was so completely faithful to the Lord and His commands that other people KNEW it about him. 

Your testimony or reputation in other words, is everything! What does your reputation tell others about you? 

Just something to ponder. 

Never Leave a Man Behind

Heard a preacher mention recently about how the military has a motto of "never leave a man behind". A thought came to me as soon as he said it that Christians should have that motto. 

First of all, we need to reach as many people for Christ as we can so that when the Rapture happens, no one is left behind. 

Second, Christians should help other Christians when they are down. "..Ye which are spiritual restore such an one in the spirit of meekness"... Don't leave them behind and not help them in their spiritual growth and just concentrate on your own spiritual growth. 

As the battle of life rages, it is so important that we as Christians never leave a man behind. --Not where heaven is concerned and not here on earth as each one of us deals with the chaos of life. 

Why We Care So Much

This has been rolling around in my head for some time now due to a comment made to me. Someone asked me why the pastor and pastor's wife or youth pastor and his wife care so much about what happens in their church member's life. It astounded me that the question was asked! Really?! Aren't we supposed to care? Aren't we commanded by God to care? It's quite frankly funny to have that attitude because some people leave a church saying that no one cares at the church. Yet, when we do check on them and why they are missing church, when we do try to help them in their walk with the Lord, when we reprove them over their sin (also commanded by God), they also get offended and say we are over bearing and in their business TOO much and sometimes leave the church. It is a double edged sword. 

Here's some help to understand why we care so much. Besides the command that we are supposed to, people enter ministry life to minister to others. This includes helping them in their spiritual growth, their mental state of mind, their physical needs, and to help them be all that they can be for the glory of God. When you see someone start skipping church, the warning bells go off in your heart and mind telling you that someone is headed for trouble. When you see them pushing lines or graying up lines that is commanded in Scripture, warning bells go off. When you see them participating in sinful things or allowing the world and worldly friends to influence them, warning bells go off. Your heart breaks because you do not want to see someone go through trials and heartaches that their decisions will most certainly bring. 

It is basically the same philosophy that goes along with parenthood. God gives this congregation of church members to your care.
It is your responsibility to teach them, reprove them, rebuke them, encourage them in life and in the Word of God, train them to be good and productive servants for the Lord, and to help one another. When your child messes up it grieves your heart to the very core. It is the same for those in leadership positions at the church. We lay in bed at night and cannot sleep because someone in their church is hurting physically, mentally, or spiritually.  

This is why we care so much! Also, the pastor will stand before God some day and give an account for how he lead. 

Just some helpful thoughts of why we seem to care and get in your business too much.