Learning From the Apostle Paul

 

I want to look at some take-aways from the life of Paul. Things we can learn. Of course we can read all the books of the Bible he wrote but I am not necessarily talking about what he taught. I want to look at Paul's life. His character and who he was.

Much of his life as a whole is covered in the book of Acts but we will look at other books, too. First of all, Paul didn't just preach the gospel. He wrote letters to different groups of people to teach and train them about how to live a Christian life. We should take a cue from Paul and do our best to train people after they are saved. I say, as I have before, that witnessing can change the population of heaven but discipleship can change the world!

Paul was bold and outspoken in teaching and correcting doctrine. He didn't care if it offended. He just stood for the truth. He even stood up to Peter and other Apostles when they were stepping back into Jewish traditions or acting ashamed of Christ. We, too, should stand on the truth of God's Word unapologetically. We can do this in a loving manner and not go out of our way to offend or be hateful.

Paul didn't beat down doors. He asked for people to pray with him for open doors so the Word of the Lord would have free course. (2 Thessalonians 3:1) He also didn't stay and keep preaching where he wasn't wanted. In Acts 13:51 he and Barnabas shook off the dust of their feet against the Jews who expelled them out of their coasts and went on to the next city. In Acts 18:6 Paul shook his raiment and told the Jews "Your blood be upon your own heads; I am clean. From henceforth I will go unto the Gentiles". Paul was of course speaking about that particular city because we know from further reading in Acts that Paul still preached the gospel to Jews in other places after that. I believe these facts about Paul should remind us that you can't make people hear what they are unwilling to hear. ---Really about anything in life even if it's truth. 

One of Paul's prayer requests was that his fellow Jews would be saved. (Romans 10:1) We, too, should pray for our loved ones to trust in Christ. We can pray that the right thing would be said by us or someone else they encounter to soften their hearts towards the saving knowledge of Jesus. We also need to tell them not just pray for them! Pray for the open door to speak to them. Pray for God's Word to penetrate their heart. Pray for boldness and courage to open your mouth to speak to them. 

See, we can learn more from Paul than just his teachings about how to live a Christian life! 

More Than an Addict

 

So many people write off addicts as good for nothing. I confess that I used to be one of those people. God has spoken to my heart over the past several years and changed my mind. 

I have had family and friends have to deal with their children who were addicted to drugs or alcohol. Now I understand that each of those "good for nothing" addicts is someone's child no matter how old. Each one has a parent who is heart broke over watching their child destroy themselves. I've watched those parents cry, pray, try putting them in rehab and also try tough love. I've seen their agony up close and personal. My heart would break as I watched them at their whit's end. I am very thankful to God that He spared us going through that with our kids. 

There was a time when I didn't understand addiction. Trying to give up soda and sugar has taught me well about addiction! Those things are not near as hard on the body as drugs or alcohol but God still used them to change my heart. Now I understand that the addict's actions and sometimes craziness is not them. It's the addiction. They are controlled by it. The drive to have it causes them to act in ways outside their normal character. They will lie (big time!), cheat, steal and use people to get that drug or alcohol. 

Now my addictions to soda and sugary treats didn't and doesn't drive me to the extremes I mentioned above, but when a craving hits I definitely need a "fix" to satisfy the craving. When I do not satisfy the craving, I can have withdrawal symptoms such as headache (most common for me), dizziness, and mood swings (I get crabby!). I definitely get that "feel good" feeling when I get my fix so I can only imagine how hard it must be on a drug addict or alcoholic. By the way, addictions come in many forms and just because yours isn't illegal or as harmful, doesn't mean you don't probably have the same type of withdrawals! Let someone take away your cigarette, coffee, smart phone, gaming device, or hobby and see how well you do! I believe God used my soda and sugar addictions to open my heart so I would have more compassion and understanding for the addict in general.

Addiction happens for different reasons and is often multifaceted. Often it begins with prescription pain killers after an injury or surgery. The reasoning behind why some folks can just use them sensibly and others become addicted is another blog post for another day. With young people (& quite frankly, even adults) it can start as a result of peer pressure. Often times it only takes one time of use with certain items to become completely addicted. This peer pressure is where the multifaceted comes in. Often, addiction happens as a result of trying to fill a void. People are trying to fill an emptiness. They want to feel accepted for who they are or they want to numb the pain of feeling worthless that is perceived in their own minds or has been portrayed to them from others in their lives. Again, this is a topic that needs a deeper dig and isn't the point of this post so I will not do that deeper dive right now. 

Addicts are more than their addiction. They are people loved by family and friends who are devastated by the addict's self-destructive patterns. They are also souls loved by God who sent Jesus to die for their sins so they could have a relationship with Him. Just like the person who is NOT an addict! When I see who God is. I realize what I am. His holiness reminds me that He had to reach just as far down to save me as He does the addict, robber, rapist and murderer. 

I chose the graphic today to remind us to keep a Christian attitude when it comes to dealing with addicts. Keep that attitude when dealing with everyone because we are all flawed and we all have baggage. Some people just have bigger suitcases than others! Yep, they are more than just an addict. They are loved by someone and loved by God. He wants all to come to repentance and be saved! 

Influence Can Make or Break

 

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My husband and I have long believed and taught through out our ministry life that we must guard ourselves and our children from bad or wrong influences. What one person can withstand and not be effected by can devastate the next person. Many times we are warned in the bible about guarding against wrong and evil influences. 

Proverbs 1:10-16 - My son, if sinners entice thee, consent thou not. If they say, come with us, let us lay wait for blood, let us lurk privily for the innocent without cause: Let us swallow them up alive as the grave; and whole, as those that go down into the pit: We shall find all precious substance, we shall fill our houses with spoil: Cast in thy lot among us; let us all have one purse: My son, walk not thou in the way with them; refrain thy foot from their path: For their feet run to evil, and make haste to shed blood.

Proverbs 4:14-15 - Enter not into the path of the wicked, and go not in the way of evil men. Avoid it, pass not by it, turn from it, and pass away.

Proverbs 22:24-25 - Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go; Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul.

1 Cor. 5:9-11 - I wrote unto you in an epistle not to company with fornicators: Yet not altogether with the fornicators of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or with idolaters; for then must ye needs go out of the world. But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one, no, not to eat. 

2 Thess. 3:14 - And if any man obey not our word by this epistle, note that man, and have no company with him, that he may be ashamed.

Let's face it, many adults cannot withstand peer pressure. Why would we expect kids to be able to withstand?  Examples of adults not standing against peer pressure are the January 6th protests getting out of hand and leading to much worse things than what was first intended. Many who have been brought to trial used the excuse that they got caught up in the moment. All the protests and riots since the George Floyd incident are more proof of getting caught up in the chaos. Even in the bible the priests and Pharisees stir up the people to crucify Jesus. Many of those same people had only recently laid down palm branches and cried "Hosanna" as Jesus rode into Jerusalem. 

I have watched as certain influences allowed have caused harm or destroyed one child in a family yet had no effect on the other children. I have also watched teenagers be good influences on their parents and an entire church, actually. When my husband was a youth pastor, the teens we worked with became big soul winners and it fired up the whole church to invite and tell people about Christ. We had a constant flow of visitors at the church. Many parents made changes at home in music and faithfulness to church all because their teens were doing right! 

Following right example is also talked about in the bible. Paul tells the church in 2 Thessalonians 3:7-9 - For yourselves know how ye ought to follow us: for we behaved not ourselves disorderly among you; Neither did we eat any man's bread for nought; but wrought with labor and travail night and day, that we might not be chargeable to any of you: Not because we have not power, but to make ourselves an example unto you  follow us. 

Hebrews 13:7 - Remember them which have the rule over you, who have spoken unto you the word of God: whose faith follow, considering the end of their conversation. 

3 John 11 - Beloved, follow not that which is evil, but that which is good. He that doeth good is of God: but he that doeth evil hath not seen God.

If I could just ask that everyone reading this consider seriously what influences you allow for yourself and your children because as my title says, influence can make or break. 

I hope this post makes you think.

The Keeping of Our Parents

 

Each of us begins life with a parent or parents to take care of us. They generally make sure we are fed, clothed, bathe regularly and have a good place to sleep. 

I find it fascinating that God's plan was for things to reverse as we age. We begin life drooling and end it the same way if we live long enough! As our parents age we are suddenly the caregivers. It's now our job to make sure they eat, get dressed, bathe and have somewhere to get rest. 

Let's throw in some dementia and the scenario changes moment by moment. Now the care takes great patience as you are often dealing with a 150 lb or more toddler who can throw a tantrum as well as any 2 yr old. (As any one of us can from time to time!) The difference is that 150 pounder is too big to manhandle and put to bed for a nap! They ask even more questions than the toddler and are often frustrated by your answers. Confusion over where they are and who they and everyone else is can be an ongoing battle. Which can again lead to more angry outbursts. 

The mind is such a complex thing! One minute they can spout out their spouse's social security number but 30 seconds later cannot tell you when or where they were married. It's sad. As a matter of fact Dementia is a cruel illness that destroys dignity! 

They often become the poster child for ADHD and cannot sit still for more than 5 minutes as they pace the floor, open and close cabinets, move objects from place to place and turn fans and lights off and on. You think to yourself "My 2 yr old grandson is less active"! Then your heart breaks as you watch this unfold before your eyes over and over in any given day. 

All you want is for them to be who they were all your life. Yet, roles are reversed and you are now provider, protector and caregiver. Yes! Much patience and endurance is needed! The bible says in Proverbs 23:22 - Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old. Making good and right choices isn't easy as you decide what is best for them. 

The Knowing of Hard Things

 

There are some occupations that require those involved in them to basically keep secrets. They are to tuck away the hard things and are not allowed to discuss those things with anyone else. My sister is an ER nurse and recently she sent a group text to me and our other sister to pray for a serious situation. She shared no pertinent details such as names or even gender but just a few general facts to allow us to know how to pray for the person and for her also as it was difficult for her mentally. It dawned on me after I prayed that it must be so hard to see patients come in with very serious injury or illness and understand how dire things are and still be professional and give comfort and aid to the patient and the family members. I'm grateful that when she is overwhelmed in a situation that her first reaction is to contact us so that she can draw from the One who can help most through our prayers. 

Doctors and all in the medical field, police officers, social workers, and those in ministry must keep their knowledge confidential. This knowing of hard things can at times be difficult to bear alone. 

Being a burden bearer can be lonely and if you are not careful you can allow the knowledge to overwhelm you and depression can sink in. Being a former pastor's wife allowed me to understand all of this in an up close and personal way. My husband knew more things than I did, though we more often than not, did counseling together. Still, his burdens were much greater. Knowing all about everyone's trials is one of the downsides to ministry life. Being upbeat and positive and smiling as you carry the burdens of so many others can wear on a person. It takes the grace of God to bring peace in the midst of the knowledge. 

I have known firefighters and first responders who have nightmares because of the gruesomeness they have witnessed. For them, I think it is not so much that they can't share what they witness if they leave out names it's more that most people don't want to hear gory details of the things they see. It's too much for the average person without training so they get to know those hard things with only their co-workers. It's probably what helps them bond as a unit. Very much like those who fight together in a war. 

Anyhoo, just a shout out to those who must know the hard things and keep it to themselves. And remember this the next time someone with a tough job seems detached or aloof because they are just needing some time to process through and compose themselves so that they don't expose too much about the situation. 

God's Favor is Two-Fold

 

I have heard preachers say for years that we can't earn God's favor and that His love is unconditional. Something struck me on my drive home from church last night as I listened to a Christian music cd. When it comes to salvation the above is true. However, to please Him and to receive His blessings; we ABSOLUTELY earn, often times. 

Earthly parents give and withhold blessings and gifts and favors to their children based on their behavior. So, why wouldn't God, the ultimate Father? Besides, over and over in scripture we are told that He does so!

In no particular order...

Psalm 84:11 - For the LORD God is a sun and shield: the LORD will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly.  (from them that walk uprightly...those that do right!)

1 John 3:22 - And whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight.

Jeremiah 7:23 - But this thing commanded I them, saying, Obey my voice, and I will be your God, and ye shall be my people: and walk ye in all the ways that I have commanded you, that it may be well unto you.

1 Peter 3:9 - Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing. (don't retaliate so you can receive a blessing)

Psalm 3:3-4 - Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart:

So shalt thou find favour and good understanding in the sight of God and man.

Hebrews 13:16 - But to do good and to communicate forget not: for with such sacrifices God is well pleased. 

Proverbs 16:7 - When a man's ways please the LORD, he maketh even his enemies to be at peace with him.

Hebrews 11:5 - By faith Enoch was translated that he should not see death; and was not found, because God had translated him: for before his translation he had this testimony, that he pleased God. 

Ephesians 6:2 - Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;)

Colossians 3:20 - Children obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. 

Exodus 20:12 - Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

Psalm 37:4 - Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

Proverbs 11:20 - They that are of a froward heart are abomination to the LORD: but such as are upright in their way are his delight.

Hebrews 12:28-29 - Wherefore we receiving a kingdom which cannot be moved, let us have grace, whereby we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear:

For our God is a consuming fire. (serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear...not any old way we choose!)

Ephesians 5:1-11 - Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children;

And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet smelling savour.

But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints;

Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks.

For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.

Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience.

Be not ye therefore partakers with them. 

For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light:

(For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth;)

Proving what is acceptable unto the Lord.

And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them.

Proverbs 3:11-12 - My son, despise not the chastening of the LORD; neither be weary of his correction:

For whom the LORD loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth. 

Revelation 3:19 - As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.

So God's favor is indeed two-fold! We cannot do anything to earn salvation. It's free! Ephesians 2:8-9 - For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:

Not of works, lest any man should boast.

Grace is unmerited favor....getting something we absolutely do not deserve. But God sent Jesus to pay for our sins. We cannot do good deeds, go to church, read our bibles or give money to earn our salvation. We just have to accept the gift God gave. We have to trust what Jesus did on the cross and ONLY that.

However, we CAN earn His favor, His pleasure, His delight, His blessings or His chastisement by our conduct. Personally, I want to please Him. I want to avoid chastisement as much as possible. Of course I understand that not all trials that happen are due to sin and sometimes it's just because God is allowing them to mold, shape and strengthen us but I desire to please Him and walk in His ways as much as I can muster. Don't you? Just some thoughts to consider.

 

Invite God to Your Marriage

 

Hello you few regular readers! I apologize for being absent for so long. I really do try to get at least one post a month in on this blog but lately life has been a blur. Quite frankly, I've been just worn out. My mind has had trouble focusing and gathering thoughts into anything coherent. I jot down ideas in my notebook but don't always have a chance to develop them into a good post. Anyhoo, today I want to encourage every wife and soon to be wife out there to invite God right into the center of your marriage.

You may think that you are a bible believing Christian and therefore this is just a given. However, it is not! We must make a conscious effort to put God in His rightful place within our marriage. Because we are human and because our husbands are physically here in front of us, we can make him the center of our lives. We can get so busy doing around the house and for our husband and for the kids that we put God on the backburner or give Him the leftover time we feel we can spare. This is not the best way to have a personal and close walk with the Lord.

How do we invite God to our marriage? Well, let's see....literally invite Him. Ask Him to be right there in the center of the relationship. I think it should be a part of every Christian's wedding vows! Ask Him to guide and direct daily. Ask Him to help you each to forgive when the other messes up and causes hurt. Ask Him to help you overlook the annoying flaws and irritating habits that drive you bonkers some days. So, I reckon the first way is to pray. Ask for His help. Ask Him to be a part. I think this should be done together as a couple but if one spouse isn't willing the other can certainly pray on behalf of the marriage relationship. 

#2 - Read and study the bible together. You will grow closer to one another and closer to God when you grow together in His Word. This is a guarantee! I have proven this over the past 20 years. We are talking about marriage here but I might include that as your children grow old enough to read and understand, it will go far for your family to read and study together and invites God into the whole family unit. This will also help your children to understand why you take the stands against the world that you do and help them to make decisions based on the Word of God instead of peer pressure. It will ground them in their faith beyond what you can imagine. 

#3 - Get involved in ministries at the church and in your community together. Working together in a common goal serving, unites hearts to one another and to God. It also builds eternal rewards in heaven which will lead to hearing "Well done thou good and faithful servant" someday.

#4 - Pray together for others. When you know of someone who is in need, of course you can pray alone but as a couple it can be even more powerful. Jesus said "where two or three are gathered in my name, there I am in the midst". Also, as you take turns praying over the person or persons in need, one may remember a detail to add that the other hadn't thought of but is an important detail to include. For example one may pray for the immediate need of healing in a situation while the other may remember to pray for peace as the person goes through it or for the doctors and nurses involved. Get what I mean? 

I hope this post has been an encouragement and made you think. Invite God to Your Marriage, especially if you never have or if you have drifted from the idea.

Church Should Be A Refuge

 

I have always said that my church should be my refuge, my safe haven so to speak. It should be just like a family home. It should be a place to shut out the world of evil and wickedness and be able to rest. However, in many churches that is not the case. I have been in churches in the past where I was attacked and evil spoken of when what was being said wasn't true. I have had times where I was excluded from the "group" and not been invited along to a lunch or a shopping spree or a game night. The older I get, the less these things bother me but when I was younger, it hurt deeply. 

I expect to go into the world, at the grocery store or gas station or other place of business and possibly be treated poorly. I should NOT have to endure that in my refuge! Nor should anyone else! No one should get so nervous walking into their home church that they are sick to their stomach or have shaky hands because they are uncertain about how they will be treated. They shouldn't have to worry if they will be excluded or included in conversations or befriended by others. Personally, I think it's a shame that anyone would have to endure that at their place of work or an organization  for which they volunteer but how much worse for them to experience that at their safe haven of a church?! 

I realize that not all people will click in personality but all should still be kind, friendly, and included. Really! How hard is it to be kind and friendly or at least civil?! Too many people do not know how to have correct relationships with others. They do not know how to be inclusive or to even show interest in another's life and what's happening with them. They only seem to care about self. Self is what is so wrong with this world! 

We can do better as church families. Don't start a conversation with someone or ask them a question and then walk away before they can answer as though you really weren't interested but was just being cordial. I want to go on record as saying that I am not personally experiencing anything I have voiced but I have observed it happening to others over the past several months and even couple of years. I try to make a point to speak to the person that I feel was inappropriately treated. I am not perfect at that but it is something I strive for. I think we sometimes are careless with the feelings of others who very well may be at a breaking point and carrying a burden that no one is aware they have or feels like they do not matter. JUST BE KIND! Church should be a refuge!

That's My Job...It's What I do

 

There's an old country song of Conway Twitty by this title. It's about a father and son's relationship. As a parent we have different job duties at different stages of our children's lives. When they are babies and toddlers we teach them all the physical things they need to learn as they grow. We teach them to talk, sit up, eat, drink, walk and potty train. As they grow into older children, we teach them how to dress themselves, make their beds, brush their teeth, do some chores and ride their bikes. As teens we teach them to drive, fill out applications for jobs and/or college and all about dating or courting. Even in adulthood we are still training. The difference from childhood and adulthood is that we should probably wait to be asked for the help or advice. If we've done a good job while they're still under our roof, then they will know how to conduct themselves wisely and responsibly as adults in the world and will still seek our help and council when they are unsure. That's our job. --To help when we can. 

Some of us have many jobs. Some are daily out in the workforce. Others are homemakers or stay at home moms. One of my job titles is wife. That comes with many duties that cover a multitude of various things. It can include cooking, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, running errands or tending to phone calls that must be made, caring for the farm animals and yes, also having a romantic, physical relationship. It absolutely involves being a support system and cheer leader! That's my job! It keeps me quite busy! We strive to have a biblical marriage and home as much as possible. I enjoy being a "keeper at home". I LOVE that I am not required to daily get up and report to a boss outside the home. 

I have other job titles, too, such as sister, daughter, friend, fixer and counselor. The duties for these are to listen, encourage, rebuke when necessary, help in any way I can, and just be available. Ever since I was a kid, these last few job titles have fallen upon me easily. I have always been someone who has had people open up to me and share with me their troubles, burdens or when they just need to vent. Perfect strangers have done this! I have stood inside stores and had strangers just open up and pour out their heart like we were old friends! I am not sure why but even at times in my life when I have tried to step back from these roles, I just can't seem to do it. It's just who I am, I reckon. These are apparently, forever, my job. It's what I do! 

The job title of Christian has some of the same duties that fall under the previous titles but my most important duty is to tell people about the love and saving grace of Jesus. Along with that is to live so that they will want to listen when I do speak to them about Jesus. If you are a Christian, it's your job. It's what you should be doing! So be like Nike and just do it!! 😉

The "I Don't Understands" of Life

 

So many times in life I find myself saying, "I don't understand". I don't understand the craziness in the world. I don't understand the nonchalant attitude of many Christians being careless with their testimony. I don't understand the meanness of people. However, I can usually shake my head and shrug these off and chalk it up to humanity and sin natures. 

The other "I don't understands" I must leave to God and trust Him and His plan. There have been times when I thought "what good can possibly come from this?" Even when I have had these thoughts and hurt so deeply within, I have still chosen to trust. As Job said, Though he slay me, yet will I trust him. 

Still, I don't understand why I have been surrounded by death all my life. I have spent time at the funeral home in support of loved ones since I was 4 years old. I don't understand why my dad died when I was 12. I don't understand why my mom got lung cancer 5 years after quitting smoking and then passing after a 14 month battle. I don't understand getting to start a church and then having to close the doors 7 years later due to lack of growth and finances. Then later I don't understand trying so hard to impact people in Oklahoma only to see the church not grow and seemingly having no influence on the people. I don't understand why I survived being hit by a train when my friend, Warren didn't. I don't understand nearly dying yet surviving COVID and others don't. Every time I find out that another person who has COVID dies, I feel guilty. It reminds me to be grateful and to try to live up to the second chance God has given. I also must tell myself that God decided to let me live and chose to take those others. But the initial pang of guilt is always there. 

I often don't understand what God is doing but I trust Him. Jeremiah 17:7 - Blessed is the man that trusteth in the LORD, and whose hope the LORD is.

Isaiah 55:8 - For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.

Romans 11:33 - O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! how unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out!

God is sovereign. It's His ball game. He is not only the coach but the umpire, the team owner and He gets to make the rules of the game of life.

I hope this may help someone who is struggling today with the "I don't understands" of life.

What Women Want

 I think I may have blogged about this idea years ago but it's been on my mind lately so I thought I'd do it again today. There's a lot of talk about what women want and there's even a whole movement out there demanding it. I plan to touch on the things that are wanted by most women deep down in their souls. 

I believe all women want a hero. Despite that there are many who say they don't need a man and can do everything themselves, I do think they want someone they can admire and who will save them from the things that frighten them. And yes! Everyone has fears. Fears of failing. Fears of not being good enough, etc. Whether they admit it or not, in their hearts they know themselves and what fears they have. The hero can take many forms. Maybe he fixes a broken appliance or car so that the repairman doesn't have to be called. Maybe he opens the jar of pickles that she was unable to open. Maybe he holds her hair while she throws up and helps her back to the sick bed. Maybe he changes the baby's diaper so she can have a break. Maybe he cooks or cleans to give a break. Any or all of these can create a hero in a woman's mind and heart. 

Often times, it's not about what a man does but how a woman FEELS around them. Women want to feel chosen. Chosen over anyone else, especially other women. Don't get me wrong they want to feel chosen over the buddies, too! Few things can melt the heart like hearing "I'd choose you again". 

This leads right into and goes along with women want to be a priority. No one wants to feel they are at the bottom of the to do list. They want their feelings and desires to be important. They want to be considered. 

Women want to be and feel supported. They want their ideas, thoughts and dreams to be supported and not poo pooed or discounted. It hurts the heart when someone doesn't feel supported. They feel like they no longer matter. 

Women want to be appreciated for the little things. No one likes to be taken for granted. It's important to tell someone that you notice the extras or just appreciate the everyday things. I almost died from covid back in September 2021 and since then my husband has expressed the little things that he's grateful for that I do for him. This makes my heart happy in knowing he appreciates me and he'd miss me if I were gone. 

Women want to feel gorgeous. This happens most when being told that they are by people they care about. They want it said even on days when they feel like they look awful. 

Of course I realize that most of the things I mentioned are also appreciated and desired by men, too. It's just called being human. It's being kind one to another. 

Most women I know do not want to take power from a man. Most don't want to try to compete with or be like men. There's a world philosophy out there that says all women are envious of men. (they use a term that I'm refraining from using because I don't feel it would be lady-like) While there may be some women like that, I don't believe it's the norm. In reality, true man envy is seeing the line at the women's bathroom and none at the men's or knowing your husband can jump out of the car and go beside it while you have to run inside the house urgently! 😅

One more thing. What women REALLY want is a very comfortable bra and comfortable shoes!!!