The Magnificent Stubborn Child

 

Dealing with stubborn children is down right frustrating at times. They test our limits as parents, grandparents, teachers and even siblings. Who hasn't wanted to haul off and hit our stubborn brother or sister while growing up?! They wanted everything their own way and wanted what was ours and to keep the peace, we were often told to just give it to them. Yeah, stubbornness is a difficult trait to deal with most of the time. 

I want to take time to point out the positives of a stubborn child. Yes! There are positives to look at and consider. 

One, they are adamant about what they think and want. Because of this, they are their own person and true to self. This makes them less likely to follow the crowd into trouble. They tend to be more of the leader type. Because they are adamant about their ideas and beliefs, they are very good debaters. They will argue their point until they are blue in the face! They will not be easily persuaded by friends, enemies, or parents to go against what they believe down deep. 

Two, stubborn also means determined. They will be less likely to give up on their goals. Studies show that the most stubborn children are often the most successful in life and business adventures. When their determination kicks in, they rarely give up on whatever they are pursuing. The greatest athletes were often stubborn children. Usually, parents of great athletes were able to redirect and steer their child's stubbornness in a positive direction. Their dedication to their goal brings the well paid professional athlete or Olympic medalist. 

So while the stubborn child is testing your patience daily, take a deep breath and try to remember that someday they may be the president of a company or the country, leader of an army, or a great inventor or entrepreneur.  

Relativity Paints Perspective

 

I think I may have touched on this subject a few years ago but feel compelled to blog about it. It's interesting to me how the things that are relative to our lives paint our point of view. 

Until cancer hits close to home with invading someone we hold dear, we don't necessarily jump on the band wagon of fundraising events or donating to the causes of cancer prevention or treatment. Physical, mental, and sexual abuse or human trafficking get little attention until it happens to someone we know. 

Alzheimer's disease and dementia and dealing with parents or grandparents with those diseases gets little sympathy or empathy until it happens in your own life or a close friend's life. 

I can go on and on with different things that happen in lives of people around the globe, but I think you get the jest of what I'm driving at. Once you experience something in your own life or at least see it up close and personal you begin searching online to learn more about it. You may even join a support group in person or online to help in understanding and to find support from someone in the same boat. That's how it was for me with Hashimoto's. I had never even heard of it before my diagnosis. Before I started doing ABA therapy with a little boy with autism, I knew a little but I educated myself on autism when I had to deal with it closely. Now, I recognize the typical symptoms in people, even adults because of my experiences and personal research on the subject. 

After getting saved and deciding to live my life for the Lord, my perspective was and is drastically painted by the Word of God. The Christian life, the teachings of the Bible and church life is relative in my life. It's so relative that I can quickly see in others when it's not relative to them. They don't care what the Bible says or think God is ok with them ignoring it. 

The US Constitution is relative to me, also. It's the very fiber of what our country is made of. Freedoms are constantly being taken from the average citizen and quite frankly makes me infuriated. For those who don't know and understand the Constitution, there's very little bearing on their lives. If the freedoms spelled out in our Constitution are not upheld, some people care not at all. I don't get it but I realize that relativity paints perspective. 

While God Is In Control

 

Since the election and while we're still waiting on conclusive results, people have been all over Facebook telling people not to fret because God is the one in control. Well, I want to talk about that topic for just a bit. While yes, His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts and His ways are past finding out, I do think that there is some cause for apprehension. I fully believe that everything that happens in life is either ordained by God (He made it happen) or allowed by God (He allows us to reap the consequences of our choices). 

Just because God is in control doesn't mean that Christians will be spared all trials and consequences of a nation that has ultimately turned from Him as a whole. Let's look at history. God was in control when He allowed the Israelites (His CHOSEN people) to be in bondage for 400 years. He was in control when He made them wander in the desert for 40 years because of unbelief and trust in Him until all those who had not trusted died off the scene with the exception of Joshua and Caleb. In other words, even the innocent were allowed to go through these things. 

Skip forward to New Testament times. Tell John the Baptist that God was in control when he had his head cut off. Tell Stephen who was stoned to death as Saul held the coats of them that murdered him. Tell the apostle Paul who was imprisoned, beaten and left for dead, shipwrecked, and ultimately martyred for the cause of Christ. Tell the apostle John who was dipped in boiling oil and exiled to the island of Patmos. Tell David Livingston, Jim Elliot, Ronni Bowers, and William Borden. 

Telling me to be calm because God is in control doesn't truly help the situation. I trust God's Will but fully understand that I am not exempt from all harm because of that trust. My prayer for years almost daily has been for God to not punish the righteous with the wicked. Some think that what is happening in our political world and all across the country will just usher in the rapture. Maybe so and I do believe that before the true tribulation period starts, I will be out of here. But, as I have expressed on this blog before, I am living proof of what a person can live through! Again, ask Paul and John! I fully believe that if socialism is ushered in to this country, it will be solely because the country as a whole has turned from God and His Word. I will also blame Christians who couldn't bring themselves to vote for a man with what they believe is low character. Yet, they chose a career politician who takes a stand straight against God's Word and who chose a communist running mate solely based on gender and skin color! At their first complaint when it gets bad, if I'm still here, I will laugh and say, "you made your own mess". 

Yes, God is in control always! But He allows free will and consequences to those free choices. 

Treading Water

 

When treading water you are doing what it takes to keep your head above water while not really moving forward. In other words, you're often doing what it takes to survive. Doing basic movements while gaining no ground in moving ahead. 

While treading water you can give your body a break from heavy physical exertion. However, you can only tread water so long before even this wears you out. At the worn out point a swimmer leans forward and floats (dead man's float) to give the legs and arms a break. 

Sometimes in life we can feel like we're treading water physically and mentally. We're just doing the basics to get through each day. This is ok but we must remember that while we're treading we are making no headway. We're only maintaining. 

I know very well what this is like. I felt like I had been treading water where my health is concerned for several years. A year ago I did something to move forward in correcting my health. Now I am on the mend and have knowledge to not be stuck treading water in my health anymore. 

I have also felt as though my husband and I have been treading water in life at home and at church for quite some time. Life has been a blur the past couple of years and we're tired. We have even had to do the dead man's float a few times. We finally took steps recently after a year of praying about what to do to make choices to move forward in a different direction. Now a lot of pressure and stress has been lifted. 

Sometimes treading water in life is absolutely necessary. Some days the bare essentials are all we can muster. With our minds consumed with the trials we're facing, our mental state is effected which in turn effects our physical state. So, it's ok during these times to tread or even float temporarily as we figure out what's next. 

Whose Lives Matter?

 

This post may upset some people but it's been weighing on my mind for some time now. In the past few months there has been a surge on Facebook of information and posts about pedophilia and sex and human trafficking. Awareness is always a good thing. Knowledge and truths will most definitely help save lives from abuse, destruction and death. I feel very strongly that every effort should be made to stop these dangerous practices.  

However, along with the posted information some have posted things such as "All lives matter except for pedophiles". When I read those, it made me cringe as I thought about what Jesus would say about that. See, I believe Jesus died for every person. Implying that a pedophile can't be saved is deciding which sins can and can't be forgiven and which people can and cannot be saved. I believe whosoever means anyone and each one who will accept the saving grace. Like I have stated before in a recent post, Jesus even died for those who will not accept Him. This is the all and the whosoever. I'd like to point out that God had to reach down just a far to save my wretched soul as he does the murderer, rapist, thief, and pedophile. When it comes to salvation from hell, liars, gossips, gluttons, and idolaters are equal sinners. God demands perfection and the only way to be perfect is to have the blood of Jesus covering you and applied to your sin debt. This is called imputed righteousness. It means that when you die, God will look at you and if you have accepted Jesus as your savior, He will see the righteousness of Christ and not your sin. 

So, to say that a pedophile's life doesn't matter is, in my opinion, wrong. Do I think they are sick? Yes. Do I think they should be punished for their wrong doing? Absolutely! They should be punished in a just and appropriate and fitting way. This may possibly include death for the heinous crime but it doesn't mean their life doesn't matter to God. Jesus in the gospels told us not to call anyone worthless. Sometimes in our humanness it's hard not to call someone that when we see a wasted life or one that causes harm. I've seen people who have turned their lives around and left drug or alcohol addictions behind. I've seen others mess up and do jail time but then straighten their life out and walk the right path from then on. Do their lives matter? Yes. No one has to stay what they once were or make the same mistakes they did in the past. I realize many do, but there are many who do not. Praise the Lord, I'm not what I once was! I am not what I hope to be but I can continue to strive towards my better self as long as I have breath left. Maybe the pedophile or so called worthless person you have a low opinion of just needs Jesus. Will you tell them about Him?

The Battle Scars of Life

 

I am almost 54 and when it comes to scars I have many. Most people do. We can barely escape childhood without some but adulthood brings them, too. Mothers have scars from childbirth. From stretch marks to episiotomies to tearing to c-sections, our bodies will never be the same. There are scars from surgeries and stitches and just cuts and scrapes. Some people have scars from acne. Nearly every teen goes through dealing with pimples and blemishes but some have more of a struggle than others which leads to a lifetime of scarring on the face. 

Often the scars have specific memories that go along with them. We remember the moment they showed up. These are the battle scars of our lives. 

Not all scars are physical scars. Some are mental. They wreak havoc on our emotions. They can't be seen on our physical bodies but they are just as lasting. They effect our actions and reactions to those around us; sometimes without our realizing it. Often these mental battle scars cause more brokenness within us than any of the physical scars. These scars take the most work to get over and move past. They have a profound impact on our relationships and can cause harm or can help us to use our scars to be better and more compassionate and empathetic towards others. 

When it comes to the physical battle scars do not be embarrassed by them. Think of them as trophies from battles that you survived. When it comes to the mental scars use them to help others and to remind yourself of the things you have overcome. 

Becoming a Noticer

 I want to say this post is inspired by an excerpt in a book I'm reading called "Only Love Today". I highly recommend this book for daily encouragement. 

I think I am a noticer most of the time in my daily life. I probably have days where I could be better at it than I am. However, I like observing people and watching their facial expressions, body language, actions and reactions. 

When you are a noticer you become tuned in to seeing what's really going on with a person. You notice the sad eyes behind a smile. You notice the bags and dark circles under the eyes that reveal tiredness and even exhaustion even though the person keeps on keeping on. You hear the cry for help behind the "I'm fine" statement when a person is at their wits end. You notice the anxiety and fear behind a child's acting out boldly to those around them. You notice the stand-offish attitude of another is probably from mistrust and feelings of isolation of a former hurt. You notice that the loud and boisterous person is probably covering their own feelings of inadequacy that was instilled in them earlier in life. 

You notice someone is in need of help at the store when you take your mind off self. You notice the withdrawn person may need an encouraging word or even a hug. You notice the excitement in someone's eyes when they are ready to explode with news to share when you pay attention to others. 

See, you can't just notice. You must do something about it. You must take some sort of action in order for the noticing to do any good for the other person and quite frankly for yourself. Giving of yourself and helping others does the heart good. You cannot lift up another without lifting yourself in spirit. A merry heart doeth good like a medicine.

I believe one of the best things to teach a child is to be a noticer. Teach them to notice hurt in another child when the whole group is against them. Teach them to notice a struggling waitress who is feeling overwhelmed but trying hard. Teach them to notice that all kids want to feel like they belong and teach them how to help that situation. 

Teaching a child to be a noticer will also keep them safer. Teach them to notice the cues of strangers that may want to cause harm. Teach them to never be so distracted they are easy prey for predators. Teach them to pay attention to their surroundings so they can describe where they are if they get lost. 

The noticers of the world are the helpers. They are the ones who see the beauty in the little everyday blessings of life such as the flowers, trees, sunsets, children at play and animals scampering.  They are the ones who enjoy the world around them. 

What a better world it would be if more people were noticers. Being a noticer could change the life of someone today. 

   

America and the Divides

I

I want to start by saying that I am white with a German and Irish heritage. I do not know what it's like to walk a day or a mile in a black person's shoes. Nor any other skin color for that matter. I was born in 1966 so I have very little first-hand knowledge of the civil rights movement. My knowledge comes from history books and documentaries and movies. I was a child of the 70's and a teen and young adult of the 80's. 

I do believe that there was a time in this country where there was systemic racism concerning black people. I think it's awful that there was ever a time in our history that you couldn't use public drinking fountains, eat in restaurants, go to the same schools as whites, or hold certain jobs based on your skin color. I can't begin to imagine what that was like. However, I would like to point out that there was also a time in our country when there was extreme prejudice against Irish people, Asian people, Polish people, and Jewish people. I grew up in a time when racial and ethnic slurs and jokes were common in society. Who from that era hasn't heard a "Polack" joke or some of the names associated with different people groups? But, you know what? Those jokes and names or terms are no longer common place in society. Are there still some who ignorantly use them? Yes! Because sin and evil people exist but it's not the norm. We had a black president for 8 years! As a matter of fact, I believe he was instrumental in stirring up the race problems again in this country during his time in office. Now, it's out of control. 

There is no systemic racism in this country anymore. People of all colors have the same laws. They have the same rights to pursue life and happiness as much as they want to try. Quite frankly, blacks and Hispanics have more opportunity for education than the average middle class white person. There are way more grants and loans available to minorities than there are for whites. 

When I watch what is happening in this country I'm sickened and saddened. People of color are demanding that white people pay for and make amends for things that happened before the white people were even born, or the people of color, too, for that matter. How is me kissing someone's foot going to fix something that happened 50, 100, or 200 years ago? How is it that a black person is owed restitution for something that never directly affected them? Just because they had an ancestor that was a slave, how does that mean they are owed money? By the way, not every black person is descended from slaves!   While we're talking of restitution should the Irish and Asian people also be paid since they were also enslaved? How does tearing down a statue or changing the name of a street, building, or institution help someone of color better themselves? It doesn't...be honest. None of this makes sense! Except that evil and sin always wreak havoc. 

Jesus says ALL lives matter. He made that abundantly clear when He suffered, died on the cross and rose again. He reaffirmed it when He said "Whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved". Whosoever means ANYONE. Whosoever means ALL that will call. By the way, all means everyone in the world, and Jesus died for even those that would not call on Him. I would like to point out that I believe God created the different races at the Tower of Babel. I'd also like to point out that racism (which swings in every direction) didn't begin with America. It has existed since bible times. That doesn't mean it's right or acceptable but it does mean that people need to stop blaming the USA for it. There is an account in the book of Exodus where Miriam and Aaron (the sister and brother of Moses) were murmuring against Moses because he had married an Ethiopian woman. Most scholars believe that Zipporah was black. Many people try to say that God doesn't see races only the human race. Could be. Maybe. Galatians 3:28 - There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus. 

Colossians 3:11 - Where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcision nor uncircumcision, Barbarian, Scythian, bond nor free: but Christ is all, and in all. 

These verses don't mention race or skin color. They also don't say that God doesn't see color. What they do say is that He doesn't differentiate between them. In other words, He loves them all! For me, it matters not skin color or ethnic back ground or heritage. If you treat me and my loved ones right, I will treat you right. Actually, I work hard at treating others right whether they treat me right or not. 

Satan is using people, as he always does, to divide and conquer this country that was built on God. There used to be two main groups that was used to accomplish this, race and class (skin color and rich vs poor). These are still being used but Satan is clever. He's added to that politics, environmental issues, social distancing and masks among many others. At this point, people can no longer agree to disagree and respect another's opinion even if you think it's wrong. People now DEMAND that all agree with them or they will scream, destroy property and become violent towards anyone who disagrees with them. It's mayhem and chaos and Satan is delighted by it. The more we bicker and take sides, the less people are focused on the true, behind-the-scenes motives and destruction of our country. The less focused on the cause of Christ which is the spreading of the Gospel. Guilty!!! I have often been caught up in the news and the chaos to the point of not telling others about Jesus. The latest craziness around the country is easier to talk about with passion and my opinion than telling someone how to go to heaven. NO MORE! I won't let my passionate feelings and opinions outweigh what is most necessary! I will fight for this country, my freedoms and my Savior on my feet and on my knees in every moment necessary. It's time every Christian remember the vocation by which ye are called and walk worthy of it! Keep the main thing the main thing. Don't let Satan distract us! 

A World of Christian Dabbling

It has been awhile since I posted. It's not because I haven't had things to write about but there have been so many topics that I wanted some time to think on and sort through before I posted. I want to blog with a clear mind and not during passionate reactions. 

Let's talk about what it means to dabble. I want to talk about the second meaning which is to take part in an activity in a casual or superficial way. Boy, this is what I see being played out in the USA today. Christians who think it's alright to be casual in their Christian walk. I will address this further later in this post. 

As I observe what is happening around the country these days, I feel that Christians are to blame at the core. Far too long we've been allowing the loud, liberal minority of the country to ram their ideals down the throats of conservative Christians. In an order not to offend, they make their demands and we say, "Okay" and do nothing much to stop it.  By minority I am not referring to a race, skin color, ethnic group or any other. I am simply referring to the fact that their agenda and ideals are those of the lesser number of the population because I do believe that Christianity is the most common view. It's just that since the 1960s Christians have been so worried about not offending and being accepting that they have gone silent. We are now the silent majority. 

 So now let's address what I mean specifically by dabbling. I mean being nonchalant and casual in how you live and conduct yourself on a daily basis. I can't tell you how many of my Facebook friends claim to be a Christian and one minute will quote Scripture on their wall and then post vulgar or crude images and/or profanity in the next post. I shake my head in exasperation and hide the post from my news feed. I see the posts about getting drunk or partying over the weekend and wonder does no one care about testimony!? Does no one care that they may be a stumbling block to someone's salvation? After all, why should they have a need for salvation through Christ when they see you who claims to be saved, act just like them?  

Faithful church attendance means nothing. It is something that is done when there is nothing else more important going on. I have been a member in several churches in several states now and I am tired of hearing how much someone loves the Lord yet won't come to Sunday school or church or heaven for bid, be on time if they do show up. If you showed your love for your spouse or anyone else you claim to love in the same way, the relationship would not last. 

Dabble, dabble, dabble.

Is there a prayer life going on? Do you pray outside of the walls of the church? Many church prayer lists are left laying in the pews. I reckon some of you are only praying while actually present at the church because you sure aren't taking the reminder list with you to know who needs prayer. And, some are only there occasionally so I suppose you are only praying occasionally. 

Dabble, Dabble, Dabble.

What about getting involved at church? There is no commitment or faithfulness. Everyone seems too involved in their own lives to help do anything at church, or commit to take part in an activity until the last minute or at all. Church services, church activities and the church building are not priorities. They are not thought about. I have had conversations with fellow pastors and pastor's wives and know the things I am writing about are widespread throughout many churches across the country. These things leave those in ministry questioning, floundering, frustrated and confused about how to move forward. What is the next thing to try to motivate people? Is it any wonder pastors are leaving ministry life at an alarming rate? They grow tired mentally and physically. 

I have said all this to make the point that this is what a world of Christian dabbling has lead to. Are you dabbling? Are you part of the problem in this country? Maybe it's time to self-evaluate. 

It's Best to Be an M&M

Last fall I took a few ladies to a ladies conference here in Oklahoma. One of the lessons has inspired this post. It was a lesson on the story of Mary and Martha. The lesson focused on the two different personalities of Mary and Martha and their priorities in life. 

When the lesson was over, my first thought was it seemed to me that the best thing was to be a blend of both Mary and Martha. Then I pictured M&M candies and thought it would be a good logo for a ladies ministry in the church. 

Wouldn't it be great if every lady could be the perfect blend of Mary who devoted her time to sitting at the feet of Jesus and learning of Him and adoring Him and also Martha who is a take charge and get things done kind of woman? Unfortunately, most of us are not that perfect blend. We tend to lean one way or the other. That's why we need both type of ladies in our churches, to keep things running smoothly. Sshhh! Don't tell the men leading that we are the ones keeping it smooth but really that's the case! LOL :) Think about it... the men leaders of the church say, "Let's have fellowship dinner" or "Let's do VBS" or "Let's have a carnival" and yet it's almost always the women in the church who organize those events, set them up and make sure things happen. Even with office stuff or mail outs or whatever. CEOs of large companies have secretaries and personal assistants that help them stay organized and get all the behind the scenes things moving so that they can be in charge. 

We need all the Marys at church to grow spiritually and pass on their new knowledge to others at church. We also need the Marthas to see the need and take the lead when things are needing done. I think maybe I should put up posters or pictures of M&Ms around the building to remind us ladies to be a blend of Mary and Martha. Both bible characters are important and we should strive to be a little of both.

The Life of a Cheerleader

I must confess that I was never a cheerleader when I was in school. However, I have spent my life being a cheerleader for other people. That's what this post is about. I think cheer leading automatically comes with the territory of being a mom. We actually begin cheering our kids on when they are infants. It starts when trying to get them to speak or roll over or crawl or walk. Heck, I even cheered when they burped! We cheer for them over school work, athletics, fashions, and all the important milestones. 

I believe cheer leading goes hand in hand with wifely duties, too. Women in general seem to be better at cheering our husbands than men are for their wives. At least on a regular basis. It's our job to encourage them when they're down or feeling inadequate. I admit that there are times when it may be more difficult because we may be feeling annoyed or even upset with them over whatever they might be feeling inadequate about or that we wished they'd have handled something differently. At those times we must learn to bite out tongues and wait for a more appropriate time to approach that subject and just be an encourager in the moment. 

Because I am a pastor's wife, the job of cheerleader is extended far beyond my family. There is a whole flock (congregation) to encourage and cheer on. I am far from perfect at the cheerleader job but I do make an effort most of the time. 

Constantly being a cheerleader can be draining emotionally. That's why it is important to be able to get recharged ourselves. This comes through mediation on God's Word and seeing our value through His eyes, keeping positive thoughts about ourselves and not letting negative get a stronghold. It also comes through taking time to do something we enjoy on a regular basis. Something that makes us feel good and joyful. When we have a bad day it can be easy to drop into pity party mode and wonder where our cheerleader is. Guilty! I've been there. We all need encouragement and to feel like we're important or doing a good job or that we are enough. Hearing it said by others helps even when we work hard at staying positive in attitude. Luckily, I don't stay at the pity party long. I've learned how to move past it.  

Are you a cheerleader? Most of us have cheered and encouraged people throughout our lives at some time or another; but how about lately? Are you too focused on yourself and what's happening in your own life to give a cheer to someone who needs it? Do you give a smile, a nod of acknowledgement or word of encouragement to brighten someone's day? Try being a cheerleader and it will lift your spirits, too. 

When All You Have is Prayer

Sometimes we tell people that all we have to offer them is prayer. We may not be able to help them financially or physically due to our own hindrances. Maybe we are too frail or weak or financially strapped ourselves to be of much help. When all we can do is offer prayer we shouldn't feel helpless or hopeless. Prayer is the most powerful arsenal we can use or give. We are never helpless or hopeless when we have prayer. We have bold access to the throne of grace to seek help in time of need. (see Hebrews 4:16)

We can call upon God on the behalf of others. We can call upon Him for our own needs no matter the situation. Big or small nothing is beyond God's capabilities. 

In the Bible Moses was leading the people in the desert and when the water they came upon was bitter the people became angry. Moses cried unto the LORD and God told him what to do to fix the problem. Exodus 15:24-25

In the first chapter of 1 Samuel Hannah prayed and wept to the LORD because she wanted a son. God granted her a son and she named him Samuel. 

Further along in 1 Samuel 7:8-10 the Israelites asked that son, Samuel, to not cease to pray for them to be saved from the Philistines. God granted Samuel's request and by sending great thunder that discomfited the Philistines so that they lost the battle to Israel. 

Jehoshaphat king of Judah was encompassed by the army of Syria and he cried unto God. God helped him by moving the army to depart from him. 2 Chronicles 18:31.

In Isaiah chapter 38 we read the story of Hezekiah. He was sick and God had sent Isaiah the prophet to tell him to get his house in order because he was going to die. Hezekiah turned toward the wall on his bed and prayed and cried and reminded God of his serving and following Him. God tells Isaiah to tell Hezekiah that he has heard his prayer and seen his tears and that He will add 15 years to his life. Isn't that awesome?! I've heard preachers say that our prayers are not to move God but I disagree. There are countless examples in the Bible that show that prayers have even changed God's mind. 

Zacharias was in the temple doing his service when an angel comes to tell him that his prayer has been heard. His wife, Elisabeth will have a son and he will call him John. Luke 1:8-13

When Peter got out of the boat and walked on water towards Jesus, he lost his focus. He concentrated on the weather and waves of the sea instead of on the Lord. As he began to sink, he cried out "Lord save me" and Jesus immediately reached out and did. When he didn't know what else to do and was desperate, all he had was crying out to the Lord. It was enough! 

Like the graphic at the top of the page, prayer is the very best thing you can offer someone. So when you tell someone you will pray for them, say it boldly and confidently. Remember it very well may be what causes the exact help they need as God responds.

The Bicycle

As I sit here in the garage leaning on my kickstand, I wait for my owner to come and get me for a ride. I anticipate the joy I will feel as together we ride down the path through the woods. My wheels will be spinning as the air whips through my spokes and over my handlebars. I will enjoy the view as we pass by the lake, the flowers and trees, and the birds flying and squirrels scampering. Maybe my owner will stop and pick some of the flowers and put them in my basket. Perhaps I will get to hear my owner sing her favorite hymns as we ride back to the house. When we arrive at the garage and I again am resting on my kickstand, I will be happy to have been used for my intended purpose. May everyone find joy in their purpose!

This is quite a different post than I normally do but I just felt like being creative today. I watched a show this morning where a woman was taking a writing class and had an assignment to write a story from an inanimate object's point of view. I instantly thought about writing from the point of view of a bicycle. As I have said before, this blog is often a release and outlet for me as well as wanting to make others think. I challenge you to try writing a story. Write from an object's point of view or creatively tell a story about how an animal came to be. An example would be "how the skunk got his stripe" or "how the zebra got his stripes" or "how the leopard got his spots" or the frog or whatever. Just try. You'll be surprised at the creativity that will come out. 

Easter Changes For 2020

Easter is fast approaching and I have been contemplating how different it will be this year because of Covid-19. This crazy virus has the whole world on lock down making it impossible to meet and celebrate at the church building. This is especially hard on me. For years Bob and I have been away from our own kids, grandkids and extended family on Easter because ministry life just doesn't allow for us to get together with them on Easter since they are in other states. Easter is after all our most important holiday in the Christian world and it is important for the pastor and pastor's wife to be present at the church. Because of this, my church family has become very important to me as a surrogate family. The kiddos at church fill in for my grandchildren to bring some joy watching them hunt eggs and show me their new outfits. Bob and I are usually okay doing an Easter dinner alone but the celebration at church has always been important. I feel a bit lost this week. I would normally be preparing to do a lesson in our KJ class (Kids for Jesus children's church program). We would have been taking donations over the past month from church members of filled plastic eggs to have an egg hunt for the young kids. Everything just feels so off. Even though our church family meets together online on Sundays right now, my normal routine is messed up. I am not preparing bulletins for the service. I am not decorating the church building with special flowers. 

Yes I know that we can celebrate the resurrection of Jesus anywhere and I can guarantee that we will. It's just that the Easter service at church is such a special time and I am disappointed that it will not happen this year. 

I will wake up (Lord willing) on Easter Sunday and thank Him for His willingness to go to the cross, suffer, die and raise from the dead to conquer death for me. I will sing songs of praise in the car on my way to the church to support my husband as he preaches to the live stream camera praying to reach someone who needs encouragement and the saving knowledge of Christ. Yes, this year will be a different Easter. Perhaps because of Covid-19, Christians will never again take for granted and be nonchalant in their church assembly. Perhaps Christians will realize that the assembly of the saints is important and means more than they thought. There's something profound and uplifting to be together in church singing hymns, learning from God's Word, and sharing one another's burdens in prayer as a unit of believers who knows that the world of nonbelievers is missing out. 

Just wanted to share my heart today.

  

Life During Shelter in Place

It is a scary time for many. It is an uncertain time for all of us. Who do I know that will contract the virus? Will I get it? How bad will it be? Will I recover if I do get it? Wondering what our country and the world will look like when the Covid-19 outbreak is over is on everyone's mind. Will the economy recover? Will our rights as citizens change? Will the government seize this time to implement government control of more areas of our lives? These are the type of questions many are allowing to run through their minds and be expressed on social media. It is fueled by fear and the uncertainty of the moment as the spread continues across the country and around the world. It is fueled also by false information and the constant barrage of media reports that never cease. The fear is also fueled by the unknown of the virus that seems to have changing information almost daily. 

Times like this bring out the best in some people but the worst in others. Some are volunteering to help bring supplies to those who are vulnerable and can't get out. Some are considered essential workers and braving going to work everyday never sure if they will be exposed to the possibly deadly virus or spread it to someone else if they are exposed. Some CEOs are shutting down their productions and deciding to make ventilators, medical masks and hand sanitizer. Still there are those who are hoarding essentials so that those who truly need them can't get them. Some of those hoarders are turning around and selling those products at an inflated price for selfish greed. There are people yelling and complaining that store shelves are empty and blaming store workers and managers. There are those not practicing social distancing putting people at risk. There are people purposely coughing on produce and items at the store or directly on people thinking it's funny. Yep, it's the best of times and the worst of times as far as how people are responding. 

For me, shelter in place orders brings more loneliness than I'd like. My husband is an essential worker. The past three months he has worked out of town and even out of state during the week, coming home on weekends. My kids are grown with families of their own in other states. I can't go visit church members right now. This leaves me with a bunch of time on my hands. Alone time. It has some perks, don't get me wrong. I have time to read and study my bible. I have time to read the two books I have started. However, my mind is racing at times trying to plan a mother/daughter banquet in May but struggle if I should even bother because who knows if we will be allowed to have gatherings by then? April begins tomorrow. It's a tough month for me. I practice being thankful and grateful every single day because if I don't I will get too down. I spend a lot of time in prayer. As I type this I am suddenly aware that while I am alone during the week, there are many who are alone all the time because of having lost a spouse. Under normal circumstances we can be out and about and carefree visiting stores or friends and other family members. But right now, with the potential spread of a virus that can possibly kill you, life gets lonely staying home. 

If you are struggling too, use your phone, social media, computer, etc to stay connected to people. This was just a release for me. A way to keep boredom at bay. 

The Impact of Firsts

The firsts in our lives have so much impact. Sometimes we don't even realize it until later just how much. Some firsts cause chills, thrills, excitement, fear, anxiety and overwhelming joy. You know the firsts I'm talking about. They include things like a first day of school, a first dance, a first date, a first kiss or the birth of your first child or the first time you hold any of your children. They can also include things like your first time driving or the first time you rode a roller coaster. As a child it may have been your first time riding a bike without training wheels or the first time you had a sleep over with a friend. It could be the first day you spent as a married person and the first meal you prepared for your husband. I remember being plenty nervous! Life is made up of firsts. When we recall these type of memories they bring back some of the same emotions and often a smile to our face. 

With every first comes a teachable moment and change. First experiences teach us about our likes or dislikes and what we want to be different and or how to go about making it different. With every first comes change to our lives. These changes can be good or bad but either way life will be different from now on. There may be a new normal due to the type of firsts that cause pain, sadness, and hurt. Some of these firsts include the first day after a death of someone we love, the first time someone makes fun of you, the first time you and your spouse have a fight, the first day of a cancer diagnosis, the first time your child stops calling you mommy and prefers mom or the first day a child goes off to school and you no longer have the main influence during the day. 

There is no doubt that life's firsts impact us beyond what we even imagine. These firsts get embedded in our brains and influence our emotions, actions and reactions. They have a profound influence on who we are and why we do the things we do or respond in the way we do to others. 

Memories of any of our firsts can bring smiles or tears even years later. They can stir up emotions of joy, fear and even anger. The fact that years after a first, the memory can still produce such emotions is proof that firsts impact our lives more than we realize at the time.

Just wanted to share some thoughts on this topic. I suppose that there's really not much life application to this post but I hope that as you read some of your firsts were triggered in your mind and stirred some emotions you had forgotten. Maybe the point is today go out and have a FIRST experience that can bring a joyful memory in the future! 

Giving Grace

Lately I have been thinking a lot about grace and how important it is to extend it to others. Let's talk about grace. What is it? How do we give grace?

The definition of grace is unmerited favor. Getting something that you do not deserve. That's grace. In Ephesians 2:8 we read "For by grace ye are saved through faith: and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:" So God extends grace to all who will accept the gift not because we deserve it but because He loves us and wants to have a relationship with us. He also expects us to extend grace to others. Let's look at some ways we can give grace.

First, with our words. Be kind and gentle when we speak to people.
Proverbs 25:11 - A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver. Meaning a timely spoken word is both precious and beautiful. 
Proverbs 16:24 - Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones. When people hear kind and encouraging words they feel good in the core of their being and good feelings brings better health.
Ephesians 4:29 - Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. Make sure when we talk to people, we are helping and not destroying. 

Secondly, in our actions. Doing kind and helpful things for others is commanded by God. 
Galations 6:10 - As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith. When an opportunity presents itself, we are to do good to others and especially to other Christians.
Romans 12:10 - Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another; 
Showing kindness and affection and honor to the other person.
Ephesians 4:32 - And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. Kindness and forgiveness involves action on our part. The other person can't feel the grace we are extending by being kind and forgiving without us expressing and showing it. 

Thirdly, by forgiving. We have been forgiven by God when we accept his free gift of grace. Therefore, we are also commanded to forgive others when they seek forgiveness.
Luke 17:4 - And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him. I like that we are not commanded to forgive someone who is not repentive or sorry. I do think for our own sakes that we should forgive whether they seek forgiveness or not so that we don't become bitter, but clearly that's not commanded.
Matthew 6:14 - For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:  God forgives when we forgive. I believe the above verse still applies in this situation. 
Colossians 3:13 - Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. Forbearing means to put up with. In other words accepting flaws and all. 

All of the above mentioned are ways to give grace to others. We may not feel they deserve any of them but that's the point! Grace means getting what you don't deserve. We do not deserve the grace of God yet he offers it to us. It is out of love that His grace is extended to us. If we are  extended such grace then we should also give it. 

Lastly, by witnessing or telling others about Saving Grace. This is also commanded with promises! 
Mark 16:15 - And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature. This is Jesus speaking. He told his first disciples to go and preach the gospel. He left us here on this earth to share the good news of his Salvation.
Proverbs 11:30 - The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life: and he that winneth souls is wise. I am pretty sure this is self-explanatory! 
Daniel 12:3 - And they that be wise shall shine as the brightness of the firmament; and they that turn many to righteousness as the stars for ever and ever. There's your promise. We will shine brightly like the stars when we turn others to Christ. 
2 Corinthians 5:18 - And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given unto us the ministry of reconciliation;  We have been reconciled to God by Jesus and are now expected to spread to others how to be reconciled to God. It's pretty simple. 

We all want grace given to us so let's make sure we are giving it out to others also. Cut people some slack. Be kind. Be helpful. Forgive. Most importantly tell them of what Jesus did. 

Bible Study Dos and Don'ts

This is not a post intending to get in anyone's business or tell them how to run their lives. It's just some thoughts intended to help. I've had people express to me that they read their bible daily but do not know how to study it. This post is to give some tips in that area. 

First, have a bible with a concordance and glossary in the back. Also, keep a dictionary close by. I also recommend having a bible app program on your phone or computer so that you can look up the meaning of a word in one of the original languages (Hebrew, Aramaic, Greek). Sometimes this is helpful because the English meanings may be different from what Bible writers intended. Also, it is helpful at times to have bible maps to understand where places were. 

Always have a notebook to jot down things you want to remember or look up in the future. This may be good when you do not want to veer or get sidetracked from what you are currently studying but you know you would like to understand better. This way you will not forget to eventually go back and study that subject, too. 

Do not be afraid to underline or circle words and jot down meanings in the margins so you do not have to constantly look that word up when you read the passage. You will not always remember meanings when you come back to a passage in later months. I know that some people do not like to write in their bibles feeling it is sacrilege to do so. I once felt that way when I first was saved and got into going to church. My pastor told me that it wasn't and that I should personalize my bible. It's God's gift to me. My bible is full of underlines, highlighted verses, notes in the margins and sermon titles in the margins from preachers I have heard. The empty pages in the front and back are full of notes to reference when I need to go back and refresh my understanding. 

If you have opportunity or access to commentary books either in book form or via the internet, I recommend you use those also. Be sure it's from a reliable source and one you trust. There are many different doctrines out there and a commentary should line up with yours. Be advised that not every commentary will get every thought or doctrine correct, even the ones you trust. Do not be afraid to check more than one commentary. They are after all, only men who may be wise and intelligent, but are still fallible at times. 

One of the most important things is to understand who is being spoken to, what is being spoken about and how it applies to us when we study. Believe it or not, some things are spoken directly to and are for specific people in the bible and does not always apply directly to us today. While all scripture is given for an example it doesn't necessarily apply dogmatically to every Christian today. 

This girl here is a KJV only girl. Not because I believe all the thee and thou, and eth words are necessary but because I believe it was translated from the correct texts or manuscripts. I believe the bible writers were inspired by God but I do NOT believe the interpreters of the KJV were inspired. I think they were intelligent, scholarly men who were godly men seeking right and praying about it. With that being said, I think we should be very careful about getting caught up in how the order of the books were placed in our bible. They are not in chronological order. Therefore, we must not see "transitions" from one place to another simply by what order the books show up in the bible. For instance, the writings of Paul are placed in the bible according to their length and not according to WHEN he wrote them. Do not make the mistake of thinking Paul said one thing to the Corinthians and then later he moved to say something else to the Galatians and therefore there was a transition in Paul's thinking and sayings. This cannot be so since the book of Galatians was written before the books to the Corinthians. The only way to allow this skewed thinking is if you have decided that the KJV interpreters were inspired and therefore they placed the books in that order to show a progression and transition in Paul's thinking. Do you understand what I am driving at? We can allow our bible study and understanding to be skewed by focusing on what we believe was intended simply because of where a particular book of the bible was placed. This is just one example of getting off in our thinking simply due to where a book is placed in our bibles. 

Do not be afraid to ask someone such as your pastor, pastor's wife, Sunday school teacher, etc. when you have a question. That is really their main jobs! They are to train and instruct you in your knowledge of the bible to help you in your walk with the Lord. 

Above all, do not let the fact that you do not understand a verse or passage in the bible detour you from studying it. There will be those verses and passages. It's ok to set that area aside and decide that you'll understand someday and then move onto another passage. There may be some things that you do not understand this side of heaven but giving up and not trying is not the answer. If you give up, you will not learn and grow at all. If you decided in the first grade that reading was too hard and gave up and refused to try anymore, you'd never have learned to read and understand. It's as simple as that! I firmly believe study is much more important than reading through the bible in a year. I know many people who have read through their bibles year after year but still do not understand most passages because they refuse to study and try to understand. 

I hope these dos and don'ts will help somebody out there. 

What Happened to Etiquette?

As I watch the world around me, I can't help but wonder what happened to plain old etiquette? There are so many things lacking and that haven't been passed on from the previous generations. I'm not talking just about manners. I'm talking about a whole slew of things. From taking turns, how to dress, to  hospitality. What happened? Each generation has let more slip away by not passing right things on to the young.

Now let me say right off that I am not always perfect at the things I will mention but I am going to work on doing better. I struggle to always do what I know I should. Some of it I wasn't taught myself when I was young so I have had to learn as an adult from other wise people.

The above statement is very true. Even if you don't practice some things at home, you should know how to behave in public and important situations. 

Our church has had a funeral every month for the past six months. What I am about to say hasn't just been noticed the past six months. I noticed a few years ago. People no longer dress for a funeral in the manner I was taught growing up. I have more experience going to funerals than the average Joe because I have gone to them on a regular basis since I was 4. I am 53 now. Also add in ministry life and there has been many funerals due to that. I was taught that you dress up for funerals in conservative dark clothing such as black, brown, gray or navy. Possibly hunter green was acceptable. It's a time of mourning. I was also told not to wear makeup or fancy jewelry. It's a time to be humble, to show grief and remember that it is about showing respect to the dead. Now days, people show up in shorts and flip flops or jeans and a t-shirt or even look like they are going out clubbing. Now I get times have changed and that instead of funerals we call it celebrations of life. However, they still look like funerals and there is a lot of crying and heavy grieving happening so why dress in everyday clothes like it doesn't matter?
Why not dress to show respect and honor for the dearly departed and for the grieving family and friends?

Now when you look up etiquette online, there are all sorts of rules and protocol to adhere to for many different areas of life. They stem from table manners, to office/work conduct, to social media.

Since I already opened up dress let's continue there. Pajamas are not for public use such as Walmart! They are for home, for sleeping or lounging around the house and undergarments are not meant to be used as layering or accessories in an outfit! There used to be a certain style dress called professional/business dress in an office type setting or an interview setting. Now it seems that is completely out the window. I have seen people show up for interviews in jogging pants or ratty jeans (and that was women!). The news anchors all dress in tight dresses as though they were going out for the evening on a date rather than in professional looking business style clothing. They used to wear skirts, blouses and jackets. You were able to focus on what they were saying instead of how much cleavage was showing or how many curves exposed. We once went to a school event where the principal got up and gave a speech. This was a lady addressing the students and parents and she was dressed in red leather pants and a skin tight red top with a plunging neckline. She also had on a piece of jewelry that brought your eyes right to her cleavage. I suppose that she was being hip and figured that people would be more easily reached if she was on their level. Call me crazy but a place of authority should be more concerned with displaying professionalism that would demand respect for their position so that all concerned would feel secure in their leadership. I personally wouldn't want to see the president of the USA give their state of the union address in a pair of shorts and Hawaiian shirt. 

There used to be a time when children were taught to SIT and eat, at home and in restaurants. Now, kids are all over the place in their seats (or not!) as they eat. They are on their knees wiggling and turning around and getting off the chair, etc. This goes on in restaurants, too. I see them climbing on the back of booths or getting under the tables or flat out running around. They are also not taught to use inside voices. Teach your child to sit and eat. They will make less messes if taught to be still for the duration of the meal. They will be more prone to eat rather than be distracted. 

Moving on to handwritten thank you or encouraging notes. This is one I struggle to keep up with. My sister always sends handwritten notes of thanks and has taught her children to do so (whether they want to or not!). Handwritten notes are special. They can be kept by the receiver as a keepsake that they can go back to again and again. I still have notes from years ago that I will look at once in awhile. 

Next, hospitality. What happened to inviting people over for dinner or lunch or just a cup of coffee or tea? Our lives have gotten so busy that we do not take time to get to know people on a personal level. I confess that this is one I struggle with often. Ministry keeps me jumping and zaps my energy and quite frankly I am pouring so much of myself into things about church that I just want to come home and veg out and have peace and quiet. That is selfish I know and I want to be more hospitable so I am going to work on that. 

I have been wanting to post about this for some time and I realize that this was more a rant than anything but I do still wonder what happened to etiquette.