Now let me say right off that I am not always perfect at the things I will mention but I am going to work on doing better. I struggle to always do what I know I should. Some of it I wasn't taught myself when I was young so I have had to learn as an adult from other wise people.
Our church has had a funeral every month for the past six months. What I am about to say hasn't just been noticed the past six months. I noticed a few years ago. People no longer dress for a funeral in the manner I was taught growing up. I have more experience going to funerals than the average Joe because I have gone to them on a regular basis since I was 4. I am 53 now. Also add in ministry life and there has been many funerals due to that. I was taught that you dress up for funerals in conservative dark clothing such as black, brown, gray or navy. Possibly hunter green was acceptable. It's a time of mourning. I was also told not to wear makeup or fancy jewelry. It's a time to be humble, to show grief and remember that it is about showing respect to the dead. Now days, people show up in shorts and flip flops or jeans and a t-shirt or even look like they are going out clubbing. Now I get times have changed and that instead of funerals we call it celebrations of life. However, they still look like funerals and there is a lot of crying and heavy grieving happening so why dress in everyday clothes like it doesn't matter?
Why not dress to show respect and honor for the dearly departed and for the grieving family and friends?
Now when you look up etiquette online, there are all sorts of rules and protocol to adhere to for many different areas of life. They stem from table manners, to office/work conduct, to social media.
Since I already opened up dress let's continue there. Pajamas are not for public use such as Walmart! They are for home, for sleeping or lounging around the house and undergarments are not meant to be used as layering or accessories in an outfit! There used to be a certain style dress called professional/business dress in an office type setting or an interview setting. Now it seems that is completely out the window. I have seen people show up for interviews in jogging pants or ratty jeans (and that was women!). The news anchors all dress in tight dresses as though they were going out for the evening on a date rather than in professional looking business style clothing. They used to wear skirts, blouses and jackets. You were able to focus on what they were saying instead of how much cleavage was showing or how many curves exposed. We once went to a school event where the principal got up and gave a speech. This was a lady addressing the students and parents and she was dressed in red leather pants and a skin tight red top with a plunging neckline. She also had on a piece of jewelry that brought your eyes right to her cleavage. I suppose that she was being hip and figured that people would be more easily reached if she was on their level. Call me crazy but a place of authority should be more concerned with displaying professionalism that would demand respect for their position so that all concerned would feel secure in their leadership. I personally wouldn't want to see the president of the USA give their state of the union address in a pair of shorts and Hawaiian shirt.
There used to be a time when children were taught to SIT and eat, at home and in restaurants. Now, kids are all over the place in their seats (or not!) as they eat. They are on their knees wiggling and turning around and getting off the chair, etc. This goes on in restaurants, too. I see them climbing on the back of booths or getting under the tables or flat out running around. They are also not taught to use inside voices. Teach your child to sit and eat. They will make less messes if taught to be still for the duration of the meal. They will be more prone to eat rather than be distracted.
Moving on to handwritten thank you or encouraging notes. This is one I struggle to keep up with. My sister always sends handwritten notes of thanks and has taught her children to do so (whether they want to or not!). Handwritten notes are special. They can be kept by the receiver as a keepsake that they can go back to again and again. I still have notes from years ago that I will look at once in awhile.
Next, hospitality. What happened to inviting people over for dinner or lunch or just a cup of coffee or tea? Our lives have gotten so busy that we do not take time to get to know people on a personal level. I confess that this is one I struggle with often. Ministry keeps me jumping and zaps my energy and quite frankly I am pouring so much of myself into things about church that I just want to come home and veg out and have peace and quiet. That is selfish I know and I want to be more hospitable so I am going to work on that.
I have been wanting to post about this for some time and I realize that this was more a rant than anything but I do still wonder what happened to etiquette.
