Today I want to talk about the Shunammite woman. I love her story in 2 Kings chapter 4. Right from the start she perceived that Elisha was a holy man of God and fed him and then asked her husband to build a little room for Elisha to use whenever he passed through Shunem. Elisha wants to do something nice for her to say thank you for her care and kindness. She asks for nothing and Gehazi tells Elisha that she has no son and her husband is old. Elisha tells her that she will have a son around this time next year. Later the boy dies after having a terrible headache. The woman lays him on the bed she set up for Elisha and proceeds to go see Elisha to ask him for help. The bible says she asks her husband for a servant and a donkey so she can "run to the man of God". Her husband asks why and she tells him "it shall be well". She trusts that Elisha will make things right and help her on behalf of God.
I think it is interesting that when she gets to Mt. Carmel, Elisha sees her afar off and recognizes her. He sends Gehazi immediately to see if all is well with her, her husband and her son. They had a good enough relationship that he knew her from a distance and also knew that if she had come, there must be something wrong. Her response is "it is well". She had told her husband that "it shall be well" but once she got to Elisha she said "it is well". At that point in time it was not yet well. Her son was still dead, but she trusted that Elisha would do something to change that scenario. Guess what! He did!
I know that we no longer have prophets like in Old Testament times but we do have pastors that God provides to give us help in counseling, guidance, and training. A pastor is to be the under-shepherd to take care of the flock. It amazes me how often church members do not utilize this! Many of the flock have problems or need guidance yet they go ahead alone or seek counsel from friends and family rather than the person whom God has given to give the help. I understand that God gives us people in our lives who can be a great support and many may even give biblical advice but God intends for a pastor to be a source of help. If you remember, the Shunammite woman didn't seek help from her husband other than permission to run to the man of God. She went straight to the person she felt had the most pull with God in her life. The one who could give the best help.
Many church members keep themselves at a distance to the pastor and pastor's wife. They don't let us in. They keep their lives secret and don't share anything. This makes it hard to recognize when they have a problem. It also makes it harder to offer help or counsel because we know nothing of the details of their lives. My husband has been in full time ministry since 2003. In all those years there have only been a few people come to him for advice or counsel. As a matter of fact he had more people ask when he was an associate pastor than as a pastor. We are never sure what to think of that. Is it because members don't want the pastor knowing what is happening in their lives? Is it because they don't trust what he will say? Is it because they think they know what he will say and don't want to hear it? Some people don't like to ask the pastor because "he's so busy and I don't want to bother him". Guess what, that's part of his job! God says so! If a pastor ever acts put out because someone needs help, it may be time for him to get out of the ministry.
I think people should be like the Shunammite woman and run to the man of God where she was confident she would find help. If you are not confident in your pastor, maybe it's time to find a different church where you can be confident in a leader. Not every church is a good fit for every person. Just saying!
A few months ago I attended a ladies retreat and one of the messages has inspired this post. The speaker told a story of a man who was dying of cancer and on hospice. His sister had moved in to care for him. She thought that she was doing everything just right. She tended to his every need with scheduled meds, meals, laundry, house cleaning, bathing and dressing. However, one day he was having a particularly alert day and as the sister approached his bed to check on him, he grabbed her arm and said "lay down with me". She resisted at first but the man pained himself to move over in the bed and so she climbed into the bed and put her arm under his neck and around his shoulders. He pressed against her and cried and then smiled and drifted off to sleep.
The sister quickly realized that while she was busy tending to her brother's daily needs she had neglected his most important need. Just being present with him and hugging him. Touch is such a very important part of love and life. It's why now when babies are born they are instantly placed on mom's chest, skin to skin, for the bonding moments.
We tend to do that, don't we? We think that being busy doing for people is exactly the same as spending time with them. While it may be a showing of love because after all labor is that; it is not the same as conversation, touch and just being present for them. Sometimes what is needed most is your presence. Just being there, up close and personal.
Many parents are so busy climbing the corporate ladder that they do not ever spend any time with their children. They are allowing other people to raise their kids. They miss important activities the kids are involved in doing such as sports, plays, birthday parties, graduations, etc.
Many people wait until someone is about to die before they bother to spend any time with the loved one. They may only live a couple miles away but still rarely see them. Btw, if someone you love is on hospice, one of the best things you can do for them is allow them to talk. Let them talk about anything and everything they desire. If they want to talk about olden days, let them. If they want to talk about their funeral arrangements, let them. If they want to talk about their fears, let them! Just be a good listener. It's important to them and for them!
Be the person who frees their time to let them talk to you.
In order to be there for the "with mes", we must lay down the busy daily tasks that in the grand scheme of things, absolutely do not matter! Don't believe me? Ask the person who is coming to the end of their life if it matters if the floors are sparkling clean or if the hours worked to make money was worth missing out on life events. Ask the child who is sad and hurt because mom, dad, grandparent or someone else they love wasn't at their Christmas play or track race or football game or baseball game. Memories are much more important than money and toys.
This final pic should be a daily prayer. Not just the removal of burdens in our minds but also to remove the barren busyness that consumes our lives and gets in the way of the really important stuff. Our church has had 4 funerals directly related to our congregation this year. Three of them have been since September! We only have a congregation of about 30 people and many are related so each funeral hits very hard. We have two more coming pretty quickly, possibly before the end of the year and it's the first week of December. I can allow myself to get sidetracked doing daily life tasks or I can choose to be there for those who are hurting. I will fight to do the latter.
