Loss Must Be Dealt With

Had this post idea rolling through my mind for several days but didn't have a chance to develop the thoughts into coherent ideas to put in type. It first stemmed from this thought...Life pushes you forward no matter how much you want it to stop for awhile. It has already been 6 weeks today since we closed our church. That doesn't seem possible. Staying busy has kept some of the mourning down. There was the packing and emptying of the church building along with decisions about where to attend church and serve until we see what God has planned for us. There was getting our house organized enough to bring stuff home from the church building. The new church we are serving in has had things quite active already with a ladies meeting, cooking for a funeral,  two day soul winning class, and nursing home ministry one Sunday. Bob has also been a couple times with the pastor to visit some folks who had visited the church from our church. That doesn't even count getting a garden in, babysitting Amelia (my niece) and just daily life of living.

I thought that I was pretty much over the mourning process of losing our church but I don't think I fully am. I have been overly emotional this week. I know the old saying of staying busy ... especially for others when you are down or hurting and this is good advice. However, at some point you must deal with the loss you have experienced in order to move past it. People in general face so much loss in a lifetime (some more than others) that it is actually quite amazing at how well we as the emotional beings God created us to be, are able to adapt and move on. (now I know that there are some who struggle in this area and maybe don't deal and move on but most people do)

Loss doesn't have to be just the death of a loved one. Loss can be loss of a friendship, marriage, job, home, children growing up & leaving home, pet, reputation, honor, vehicle, health, mind, business, identity, vacation you thought you were taking, and the list can go on. Whatever the loss you may experience, at some point you must acknowledge it, mourn over it (for however long necessary), accept it and then move on forward in life somehow and someway. This is easiest when leaning on God for your strength and close loved ones, too. There may be times when you remember the loss after moving past it and the mourning may return for a time. Usually when it returns you are able to pull out of the slump and mourning faster than when it originally happened.
Either way, the above process still applies. It is ok to cry over the loss and wish it wasn't so but eventually you must dry the eyes, take a deep breath, accept what has happened and decide in your heart and mind to move on. You must take steps to get on with your life with the way God has allowed your life to be.

God knows what you are going through. He is there for you to lean on if you just do it. God knew Bob and I would start Rock Solid Baptist Church and that it would last 7 years and then He would move us somewhere else. We have decided that God was gracious in allowing us to even start the church to 1. Make a difference in lives in this area, 2. Gain experience we would not have gained in another way, 3. To be local and not out of state when my mom got sick with cancer. I don't believe I would have been able to handle that year and a half living 4 1/2 hours away from her and not helping in her care. That experience alone, has shaped and molded me forever for the future in ways that are too personal and too much to talk about now. Maybe someday another post will cover it.

So, like I said in the beginning...Life goes on ... Whether we want it to or not. Tonight the sun will set, and tomorrow morning the sun will rise...And hopefully so will I! ...Lord willing. Even though some days are hard, and I want to do nothing more than lay on the couch and cry; sooner or later I must get up and do and go on with life.

Betrayal

What is betrayal? Ultimately it is when someone has been disloyal in some way, shape or form. Our pastor (we joined a church in Cuba to serve in until we understand where and what God wants us to do in the future), gave a Sunday school lesson on loyalty and disloyalty or betrayal. It was a good lesson. It helped me to see things in a new way and opened my eyes to times when I had been disloyal in the past that I didn't even realize. We can be disloyal to God, to our pastor, to our spouse, parents, kids, friends, boss and co-workers.

We can betray someone by not being there for them when they need us. A loyal person is there, they stand with them through hard times and good times. We can be disloyal by gossiping about people. We can be disloyal by making promises and then not keeping them. We can betray our spouse by talking negatively about them to others or to our kids. We can be disloyal to God by not going to church and listening when there, by not reading our Bible or praying or confessing our sins or by not witnessing to others about Jesus. We can be disloyal to God by not being involved at the church He wants us to serve Him in. This also makes us disloyal to our pastor. He may feel as though he is unable to motivate people, or as though there is a lack of love and respect for him. We are disloyal when we gripe and complain about our boss. We are disloyal when we talk about our co-workers or do not do our share of the work load.

Betrayal and disloyalty can take many forms and shapes. The ones already mentioned are what some would consider mild. Most people think of betrayal as when someone intentionally does something to harm another. One example is when a spouse has an affair. Another example would be when a friend spreads a secret around that was told in confidence or when one friend purposely leaves another friend out of a get together. However, the things mentioned earlier can be just as harmful. They can cause wounds to the heart and mind that will have lasting effects. Once a person has been betrayed or experienced someone being disloyal to them; it makes it hard for them to trust others. Walls of self-protection go up. Relationships are forever changed and future relationships are also effected.

When trust is broken it takes a long time to rebuild. ...Except with God. When we confess our sins then they are as far as the east is from the west, buried in the depths of the sea never to be remembered again. When we take any step towards God, He is ready and willing to move closer to us. The Bible tells us to draw nigh to God and he will draw nigh to you. James 4:8

Maybe this post will help you to realize that there have been times you were disloyal to someone. Maybe you didn't intend that to be the case but you still were. You can apologize and make it right and do your best to not let it happen again.

Just something to ponder.