Where the Parents Are!

Last week I saw a post on Facebook about drug addiction and about the question that's often asked of "where were the parents?" It was very well written and carried much truth. This post is in no way going to contradict the message in that post. It is agreeing with it and maybe even expanding upon it. Also, I want to state right here and now that what I write today is not in any way intended to bring hurt, shame or judgment upon any parent who has done their best by their child. It is by the Grace of God that neither my daughter or son drank, did drugs or got into any real rebellion. I praise the Lord often for that!! Just as I often praise Him for their healthy bodies and minds along with my grandchildren. My heart aches for parents who have lived through the worst imaginable things with their children -- both physically and emotionally. Some of my dear close friends are my "God questions" when I get to heaven for what they've had to go through. 

Anyhoo, back on topic. For all those people sitting in judgment of parents with children who become addicted to drugs and wonder where were the parents -- I've watched first hand as relatives and dear friends cried, fought for, prayed over, begged, practiced tough love, practiced compassion, helped them into rehab, welcomed them home afterward, stood by them, weeped and worried over their safety, dealt with guilt over their occasional thought of "maybe it would be better if my child went on to heaven", dealt with anger and bitterness, and continued to love their child during every moment mentioned! I've watched and know their hearts!

Yes, there are many drug addicts out there in the world who are re-living what they watched their parents do, but those I know personally, did NOT. Did the parents do everything right? Did they ever make a mistake where their child was concerned? Only God knows that truly. What is done with one child or what one child may be exposed to or influenced by will effect each child differently. What brings down one person will not even have an effect on another. Sometimes the slightest little thing will bear future heartache for life. 

I can say with absolute certainty that they all loved and love their child and did the very best they knew how to do at the time. That is what matters! Because, in each case, and there are several, the parents were and are there. They were pleading, fighting and doing all they knew to do. The addicts were not repeating a vicious cycle they had learned as sometimes is the case. Each one, however, made their own choices and that lead to their trouble. 

See, as parents it is our job to train, to do the best we know how to do and protect our children and teach them to grow up and live responsible, productive lives. We cannot lock them in a room and just forbid as a form of protection. Eventually, after we train, we must allow them to test and practice the training we gave. Here's the thing, in the end, despite what we've done our best to teach, they will make their own choices. They're like people that way! lol Sometimes, one small choice can have ramifications for the rest of your life. After the training, all that's left is prayer and being there for them as cheerleaders when good choices are made and to help with mistakes and yes, even pick up the pieces of broken lives and help them to mend. 

So, let's try backing off the judgment of other parents when you know nothing of the situation! I hope if you have ever been guilty of wondering where the parents were when a child gets into trouble, this post will make you stop and consider that maybe the parent was and is there.