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October 31, 2017

Judged or Just Self-Conscious?

Often times we get our feathers ruffled because we think that someone is standing in judgment of us about how we look, dress, keep our homes, raise our children, spend our money, or any number of issues. This sort of goes along with a blog post I made some time ago about the voices in our heads. If you haven't read it you can find it on my blog page. 

We THINK we are being judged or looked down upon but in reality it is often just in our own minds. This can happen for a variety of reasons. The reasons being but not limited to, being self-conscious or insecure about our own choices, being convicted of sin in our own lives that is revealed when next to someone else doing right, jealousy in our hearts over someone else having better or more and the list could go on for reasons. 

My point is, that often it is just not true that someone is judging you. The average person is quite frankly too busy in their own lives to constantly sit in judgment of you and your 
choices. There may be times that a person or group of people may have wrong or stray thoughts about you but I don't believe they are standing around with gavel in hand doling out judgmental thoughts. If you feel uncomfortable (because that is actually why you are feeling judged), perhaps you should make a different choice about what you are feeling uncomfortable about the next time. 

Let me give some examples...If you feel judged because you gave your child a Hostess cake for breakfast and told another mother you did that and you felt she looked at you as though you were a horrible parent, then I suggest that next time, don't tell others what you did, OR give your child something more nutritious tomorrow! (I personally don't think it's the end of the world or going to kill them if you are at least satisfying the growling belly by giving them a Hostess cake for breakfast! Obviously, don't do this 5 days a week or you can cause health issues!) If you feel judged (embarrassed) because someone dropped by to visit and your house was a disaster and unclean, then try harder to keep a neater, cleaner home. If you are a lady that wears pants most of the time yet you are out with a group of other ladies or attend a church where many ladies wear only skirts and dresses and you feel as though they judge you, you need to get over your own insecurities and stand on your own choices. You must have a reason that you choose what you wear so don't be wishy-washy about it. You have made a choice so stand by it. My only advice is stop making choices based on peer pressure. Know what you believe and why you believe it! Know why you make your choices and stand on those choices. 

As you are wondering in your mind if someone is judging your choices...are you judging theirs? Are you judging another mother because she chose to bottle feed instead of breast feed? Are you judging another couple because they home school instead of sending their child to public school or vice versa? Are you judging another lady BECAUSE she wears only skirts? Do you think she is snobby or self righteous when she has never even mentioned your pants to you? Do you judge homemaking habits of other women? See, the door of judgment swings wide both ways! So be careful when worrying whether or not others are judging you when you may be judging them also. 

The truth of the matter is, often it is just in our own self conscious minds that we are being judged. So, let's just live our lives and do the best we can and do our best to make choices that we believe are right for us. Make better choices when we need to or when we feel "judged". 

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